Don't Believe The BS: Booze And Bud Are The Only REAL Aphrodiasics

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woman holding booze and cigarette

Because no one ever credits a pomegranate for helping them get off.

When you search aphrodisiac on Google there's over 12 million results and let me tell you: A lot of them are designed to feed you bullshit — not delicious food that's going to give you vagina tingles. 

They take everyday food and tell you it's what you need to really set the mood, but the truth is none of that sh*t works. And there are plenty of studies that discount a lot of the foods, herbs, and whatnot that are said to set the sex scene.

Truly, the only real aphrodisiacs are booze (so they did get red wine right) and drugs ... that's according to my libido and maybe even some research

All I know is that in all my life I've never been turned on and down to f*ck after eating honey, chocolate, hot peppers, or any of that other stuff; I have however found myself wildly horny after, on rare occasions, smoking a blunt or having a reasonably good portion of any liquor (from wine to whisky, you name it). 

Of course, you can't expect to get sloppy drunk and anticipate that vodka vag or whisky dick won't be an issue because as with anything in life it's always, always about balance. 

RELATED: There's Now Marijuana Specifically Designed To Help You Orgasm

But, think about it: People have a glass or two of wine before or on dates all the time to relax them — to let loose and let go of some of those inhibitions. Men's Health explains that "this loosening of inhibitions may account for your boosted sex drive after a glass or two of wine."

So not to burst anyone's bubble or anything, but red wine is not the only type of boozy beverage that works as an aphrodisiac. Don't be fooled any longer.  

And frankly, I think weed has the same impact for those who are regular smokers. 

For me, smoking only makes me horny and then sleepy, but for those who toke regularly and don't knock the hell out as soon as they blow one down — well — weed likely has some of the same benefits.

And I'm not the only one who believes so. 

In 2016, a survey was conducted with 1,400 legal marijuana patients and 14 percent admitted that they use weed for the sole purpose of increasing their libido and enhancing their sex lives.

RELATED: 6 Sexy Aphrodisiac Cocktails To Mix Up & Toss Back On Date Night

When digging deeper, Fusion found that "a number of people using medical cannabis for anxiety were using it for anxiety around sex." Basically meaning that it acts in a similar way as alcohol, helping to release inhibitions. 

I'm not really one for I told you so, but I will leave you with one thing, specifically a promise — a pinky promise, and trust me my inner first-grader doesn't take pinky promises lightly.

"I eat pomegranate so I can get off" said no one in life ... ever ... like literally never ever. But, pot and sour pucker mixed with vodka? Guaranteed every time. 

So pour up. Light up. Get laid.