Why It's TOTALLY Fine To HATE Receiving Oral Sex

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I hate getting oral sex

Sure, it's popular. But that doesn't mean you have to do it.

I love receiving oral sex, but it hasn't always been that way.

When I first became sexually active, if you'd have asked me my opinion about guys going down on me, I would have proudly proclaimed "I hate getting oral sex!

The truth was, I had yet to feel comfortable enough with a sexual partner to truly enjoy oral sex

But I am not you. 

You are not me. 

Maybe you've been having sex for years and you still don't like oral sex. 

Maybe you're just starting out, but you already know that oral sex isn't something you want to be on the receiving end of.

Either way, there's nothing wrong with your choice.

Be proud of what you know about your body and what your body wants. 

In a way, oral sex is way more intimate than sex.


People laugh when I say this, but in many respects, I find receiving oral sex to be incredibly intimate, sometimes even more so than sex itself. 

As women, we often feel self-conscious about our vaginas.

That's because we live in a society where we are taught that our vaginas are dirty and bad. 

They are too hairy or too wet or too dry or too smelly. 

Inviting a man or woman to put their mouth and nose near and in your vagina requires an incredible measure of trust and confidence. 

It's an incredibly intimate act, and if you aren't comfortable with it, that makes a lot of sense. 

Just because something is popular, doesn't mean you have to like it. 


I have a policy. 

I don't yuck somebody else's yum.

While I like getting oral sex, I respect your right NOT to like getting oral sex. You shouldn't ever feel ashamed of that. 

Oral sex is a part of pop culture, it's in a million songs lately, and all over the internet. 

Deciding you don't like it might make you feel shy or embarrassed.

Don't be. 

It's your choice, and just because it isn't the one you see promoted on TV, that doesn't mean it's one you can't be proud of. 

Not liking oral sex doesn't give your partner an excuse to neglect you sexually.


If you don't enjoy receiving oral sex, you do need to talk to your partner about it.

Explain why you don't like it. 

For some women, it's a sensitivity issue. 

Some people have very sensitive clitorises.

Whatever your reason, tell your partner so they know they haven't done anything wrong.

You also need to talk to your partner about other ways to help you have a successful orgasm.

Don't let your distaste for one kind of sex keep you from having the orgasmic life you deserve.  

Learning what works for us and what doesn't is key to mastering our sexuality as we continue to grow. 


I think that we need to treat out bodies experimentally. 

Over time, through trial and error, we learn what works for us sexually and what doesn't work. 

Accepting and embracing your sexuality this way is, I think, a healthy part of your adult development. 

Don't let others try to change your mind about oral sex unless you are open to further research. 

You are the master of your body.

You set the rules.

You decide what feels good and what doesn't.

You decide when to experiment and take risks.

You decide when to stand your ground and say no. 

You are only given one body in this life. 

Treat it with respect, be kind to yourself, and your sex life and love life are sure to follow suit. 

And if you don't like getting oral sex, that's TOTALLY okay.