12 Brave Women Reveal The WEIRDEST Thing They Do After Sex

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after sex rituals

"I smell the sheets."

That sex was great, we hope. But what do you do now? Sure, you are probably going to cuddle. You may even engage in a second round. But a lot of us have little after sex rituals that we always do after scoring.

Some may be as expected — a whole lot of you always pee after sex, even if you don't know why — but then there are others that are about morale, and others just about what you are into. Some women might high-five their partner, while others indulge in a snack. Hell, there's a lot of us who are a whole lot like George Costanza.


But others are more practical — they may fix their makeup, tidy up, or take a moment to chat about what they were into and what they may want to do differently next time. It may feel like a stiff business meeting, but it's actually a great idea to ensure you have a better time during your next romp.

We asked 7 women about their after sex rituals, and here's what they had to say.

1. We assess the sex episode.

"My husband and I sort of assess the sex episode. We ask each other what we liked most about it and what we didn't; we always want to get better and stop the things that the other person didn't like."

2. I act like a guy.


"No cuddling or soft talk. I don't regard sex as a romantic act but more as a physical act. I like to sleep, watch TV or read my book after sex."

3. I wash my face.

"All of the sweat and the kissing and his chemicals/my chemicals, it always makes me break out, so I just wash my face right after to keep my skin clear."

4. I immediately pee.


"I always have to pee after sex... it's something someone told me to do to decrease the chance of pregnancy forever ago, and I think it's just habit now. I've tried to NOT do it a couple times but I get weirded out and have to go."

"I sit on the toilet for basically ever waiting to go pee. Like, forever."

5. I perform a post-coital energy release.

"The first thing I do is head to the shower to rinse off. Then I go back to my room and turn around counterclockwise three times to disperse the dark energy my honey and I just summoned. I like to use the damp towel from my post-coital shower to wipe away the chalk pentagram I drew when things got hot and heavy. Also, if any of the demons I called forth didn't manage to extinguish the candles around my sanctum, I make sure to blow them out. Safety first!"

6. I chug a TON of water.


"The best way to be ready to do it again is to re-energize, and I've discovered my partner and I both having a glass of water after we have sex makes that happen way faster."

7. I masturbate.

"Let's be honest: We don't always get there during the main event, so sometimes some self-service afterward becomes necessary."

8. I smell the sheets.


"Isn't that smell sexy?"

9. I elevate my hips.

"When I was trying to get pregnant, I'd shove a pillow under my butt and stay there for 20 minutes with my hips elevated to try to encourage the sperm to find an egg. It worked, by the way."

10. I change the sheets.

"Because who wants to sleep on a wet spot?"

11. I smack my partner on the ass.


"And tell him he did a good job if it was really good."

12. I wipe off the extra semen on my partner's stomach.

"If any sperm or wet stuff got on my hand, I jokingly wipe it off on my partner's stomach."