This Cybersex Video From The 90s Is So Horrible It's HILARIOUS

It's good for entertainment, but not for information.

It's good for entertainment, but not for information.

Learning how to initiate sex online can be difficult, so there’s no question that some people would prefer to just dip their toe into the proverbial pool and go out looking for instruction rather than just jump straight into it and flounder wildly.

Besides, you’re a hip, groovy young person, and you’re pretty cool with the whole “Internet” thing. So what’s someone like you to do?

Well, if it’s 1997 and you've got ten minutes to dial in a secure connection to AOL, then you’re in luck, because a company called Scimitar Entertainment has some tips and tricks for how to hit it big on the cyberspace sex circuit.

How have they got your back? Well, they released a how-to guide to have the best cyber sex of your life. The only drawback to this inspirational sexy guide? Well, it kind of sucks. A LOT.

The instructional video teaches some “handy” methods like, how to “master the art of one-handed typing,” along with some not-so-helpful internet pick-up lines to get all the ladies and gents online chomping at their keyboards. Nothing says sexy like, “I’m very horny and looking for some good cybersex. Are you interested?”

Few things about this are sexy, but something even less sexy is the instructor, who, in true 90s fashion, believes that high-waisted jeans and a weird, thick sweater are the epitome of hotness. Inexplicably, the odd, thick sweater vanishes as she types, and is instead replaced by a tasteful black bar covering her bare breasts.

The video is only 1:33 minutes long, but our cybersex instructor somehow manages to lose her shirt in only 1. Can we trust a woman who loses her shirt in less than a minute to teach us any life lessons?

Confusing? Deranged? Completely not at all sexy? These are all things that perfectly describe this video and its contents. But GOOD LUCK LOOKING AWAY. You simply can’t. It’s absolutely mesmerizing how bad this film is.

Despite being an “instructional” video, there is actually nothing instructional about it. There are no suggestions on where to find these chat rooms where men reply very enthusiastically to any invitation to “cyber sex,” with lots of “S’s,” nor is there any advice on how to actually have cyber sex.

In fact, once she hooks herself a man — well, presumably a man; this is the age of unverified chat room users — she's eager to get rid of the camera so she can get on with the cyberin'.

This video is as baffling as it is hysterical, and it might just be so bad that it’s good. Want to learn how to have cyber sex? Then look somewhere else. But if you want a good laugh, check out this short video below, and thank our friends at Found Footage for uncovering this gem.