The 18 Weirdest Pre-Sex Rituals That'll Make You Question EVERYTHING

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pre-sex rituals

These take foreplay to a whole new level.

We like to imagine that sex is everything we watch in the movies: you know, super dreamy and romantic. Maybe a candlelit dinner followed a whimsical and totally unexpected kiss that eventually leads to a moment of passion where someone is pushed against the wall and... Well, you get where this is going. 

We also know in reality, sex is MUCH different

Here, 18 people describe the (sometimes off-the-wall) things they do to prepare for sex.

1. Get high.

"I like to smoke before having sex because it gives me the best high and ultimate pleasure"

2. Watch some lesbian porn.

"It's required that I watch lesbian porn before I have sex with my boyfriend. Otherwise, I won't be turned on."

3. Freshen up the pubic area.

"Before sex, I put deodorant on my pubes so they smell nice for the girl."

4. Eat... pineapples?

"Before I have sex with my boyfriend I always eat some pineapple."

5. Listen to music about... yanno, sex.

"I listen to sex music before having sex to get in the mood. I'm not that sexual of a person yet."

6. A little pep talk.

"Before I have sex I stand in front of a mirror and look at my bulge through my underwear and talk to myself about how sexy I am."

7. Get a little stretch in.

"I always stretch before sex. Is that weird? No one wants a cramp in the middle of a good time."

8. Make an important announcement.

"I always say 'I got a boner' like McLovin from Superbad before sex."

9. Clean up.

"I always take a shower before sex and I try to convince the girl to do the same."

10. Some solo action.

"Sometimes I masturbate before having sex so that I can maintain my boner longer."

11. Treat it like a workout sesh.

"I take pre- workout before having sex. It gives me a better performance." 

12. Watch some TV.

"My partner and I always watch Rick & Morty before having sex."

13. Get romantic.

"Before sex, I always wear a robe and drop it to the floor, stand there and he comes and claims me."

14. Grab some... socks?

"'Before sex... I make my "boyfriend" put socks on.. I also have to be wearing socks"

15. Fill up.

"'I have to eat something to line my stomach before sex or I get agonizing pain"

16. Add a disclaimer, naturally.

"When I take my shirt off before sex I always tell them 'try not to fall in love'"

17. Do a test drive.

"I always taste myself before sex just to make sure"

18. Make it a game.

"My boyfriend and I have this thing where we have to tell a joke before sex. Whoever continues to laugh during sex pays for food after"