5 Things All Men Should Ask Themselves BEFORE Sending A Dick Pic

Photo: WeHeartIt
dick pic

Most women don't like a surprise penis.

On a personal level, penises terrify me. 

It's one thing when it's a penis I'm familiar with and comfortable around, but I have a big issue when it comes to surprise penises. Sadly I couldn't find any information to back up the following statement (note to self: tell someone smart and good with numbers to do a poll on this), but I feel pretty confident saying that the majority of women are not OK with dick randomly appearing in their inbox. 

I can't tell you how many simple "hey wassup hellos" were returned with wieners, most of which were attached to strangers I have never met before.

And because so many women are horrified of this modern phenomena — the first time I ever wished to live in a pre-technology age was when I received my first virtual penis — there are tons of articles out there exploring why men send these unwanted risqué pictures.

The general conclusion is that it's a form of "peacocking" (literally lol-ing so hard right now) used by men who are looking for a hookup with no strings attached. I mean, logically I can see why they take this action when they're just wanting to get some action. If I wanted to hook up with some dude, a quick, easy way to send that message would be a picture of one of my boobs.

Probably the right one. I don't know why, I just like it better. 


The trouble with this bold move is that most women — or at least all of the ones who are writing these anti-dick pic articles — do not want to hook up. Or at least, they don't want to hook up THAT fast. 

A lot of guys are cool with just getting it in and then getting the eff out. But I'd argue that women, even if we are just looking for something casual, would still like the guy to put in a little more effort. Some flirty texts, maybe a cute picture of your face, and some more texts, would probably be enough to get us interested. 

But even then, I feel like a lot of women still would like the possibility of something more developing, even if there's no guarantee. 

A quick dick pic takes out all the fun and excitement of the chase — even if the chase will only end in a one-night stand. And it's also kind of scary and assaulting when it's someone we've JUST started talking to. 

Of course, I could be wrong (and if you're a woman who likes getting dick pics email me ASAP). And no matter how many things we write or protests we take, some dudes are just gonna want to flaunt their junk to the world. So if are thinking about sending a pic of your package, please consider the following: 

1. Did she ask for it? 


If you can't answer this with absolute certainty, don't send it. Just don't. 

2. Are you well groomed? 


I mean if you're going to send a picture, make sure your penis is on point. Ladies groom for you so you should be able to return the favor. 

3. Did she ask for it? 


Just double checking. Don't mind me. 

4. Is there good natural lighting? 


For the love of god please stop taking your dick pics with flash. Go stand by a (closed) window or something. 



Because if she didn't ask for it, then you have no business sending it, k?