Let Me Tell You About My Encounter With A '50 Shades' Kind Of Guy

Photo: Queerty 
My Sex Story With A 50 Shades Of Grey Kind Of Guy

You can't make this kind of thing up.

I had given up the idea of dating after my recent fails.

One rainy spring eve I had frequented my favorite haunt with my friend The Bear (TB). The bar was quiet, but we became merry and I didn't want the party to end. TB ended up leaving as he had work early the next morning and left me knowing I was in safe hands. There was only myself and another couple at the bar who I ended up chatting to, a sassy New Yorker and her friend visiting for a few days. 

Some time passes and me and Sassy NYC decide to head onto a club after her friend goes back to the hotel, as it has a roof deck and free flowing booze. It's quiet but there are enough people to make it fun.

We had a drink downstairs in the bar where I had a crush on one of the bartenders and was hoping he was working as he always flirted and I figured I would try my luck. Plus Sassy NYC had become my wing-woman and was keen to set me up with someone. Alas he wasn't there, but there WAS a bartender I had not seen before.

He was tall, dark haired, and built. Oh my, he was delicious. This tall bar stud walks over and serves us and buys our drinks, not bad as far as flirting goes. He says he is finishing his shift in twenty minutes and would we like to carry on drinking with him upstairs. We agree and head up to the roof deck to get comfy, Sassy NYC screaming at me that "Giiiiirl, you better hit that!" and boy, I planned too.

After a shot or two for dutch courage and a girly pep talk, I checked to make sure I was suitable to be seen naked, as I had not planned on anyone seeing me that night. I was wearing short black denim shorts and a sheer top which showed my bra and kicks, hardly sexy. Then he walks in, his arms rippling like some gym going God. He walks over and kisses us both on the cheek in greeting. We get more drinks and by this point I am more than merry and "Slutty Joey" makes an appearance.


This is the drunk part of my brain where my confidence is sky high and what comes out of my mouth is less than lady-like. She is a headstrong sex Goddess and no-one is safe. I wish I were more like her sober, to be honest.

Aaaaaannnyway. Bar guys hand seems to be placed on my thigh as a sign of ownership to anyone who could view, after a conversation of eye gestures and under the table text messages to Sassy NYC she assures me I am not imagining it and he is clearly not gay and to "God damn go for it already!". So I did.

I turn to him and flutter my eyelashes, bite my lip and look away (a tactic I use to make them ask what I am thinking) and he cocks his head and the look on his face instantly changes. "Do that again and I will bite it off" he quips. NOT what I was expecting, he was better at this than I was ... I then realize this is a quote from 50 shades. I reply, "You are hardly my Mr. Grey" with a coy smile.


This is where it becomes blurry but somehow he has taken his tie off (ironically a grey one) and expertly tied my arms behind my back and got me down on my knees looking up at him, this turns me on. Knowing that everyone in the bar was looking at this. Sassy NYC is in hysterics. He pulls me up from my keeling position and picks me up, I am surprised by his strength. I may only be 5'0" but I'm not exactly stick thin.

He whispers in my ear "I would throw you over my knee if all these people weren't fucking here." Floodgates opened. Holy fuck. 

Sassy NYC leaves and demands to be kept up to date with every detail. I promise I will and she heads off. The world around me seems to have stopped and it's just me and 50 shades. The sexual tension is palpable, you can feel a static in the air between us. I felt like a Goddess, that this God of a man wanted me, and wasn't afraid to show it in public.

The bar closes and he asks if I want to head back with him and a few others for drinks etc. I agree. His car is not that of a bartender. Cocaine is passed round the car and I begin to fly, the balmy air, the alcohol, and the butterflies in my stomach; I felt invincible.


We arrive at his place and more drugs are passed round. We all chat about everything, the guys are all genuinely friendly and nice, I had met most of them from drinking in the bars alone, I felt safe. One of the guys had to leave and asked me if I wanted a ride back, to which 50 shades immediately jumped in he would take us all back. We got into his car and as everyone else departed in was just me and him, his hands began to wander while he was driving and I was most certainly not stopping him. We arrived at my place, he gave me a quick kiss and asked for my number as he wanted to see me. 

I got into bed and my phone flashed up "Can't wait to see you again, you're trouble, X." I smiled, it wasn't the first time I had been called that. We text back and forth for a bit and he said we would see each other soon ...

This article was originally published at Filthadelphia. Reprinted with permission from the author.