We Had Clown Sex — And It's EXACTLY As Weird As It Sounds

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We Had Clown Sex — And It's EXACTLY As Weird As It Sounds

Getting weird with the one you love is SO worth the story.

Things got weird at my house recently. My wife and I were painting some letters we picked up at the local art store. An empty bottle of wine sat on the counter next to a couple empty beer bottles and some art store paint. As we finished the letters and set them out to dry, the idea to paint each others' faces came about.

There we were, like many years ago, doing silly things together after one too many drinks. Laughter fought with the music playing in the background, threatening to wake the kids and end the late night painting party.

"We should get to bed," said my wife. The clock read 1:45 AM. Our bedtime must have flown by between glasses of wine and me showing off my ability to throw a bottle cap into the trash caan from across the room. Our faces were painted silly, we were drunk, and it had been a good night of spending time together. We took a selfie like the kids do after a fun night.

As my wife made her way to the bathroom to wash her face, a crazy, only-when-you-are-drunk idea came to my mind. 

"Babe!" I called out to her. "Leave the paint on."

Confused, my wife made her way back to the kitchen. As I looked at the clown-style paint on her face, a part of me wanted to laugh at the idea in my head. I kissed my wife before clearing a spot on our counters. As kissing turned to heavy petting, we made our way to the bedroom.

The next morning, scrubbing paint off my face in the bathroom mirror, I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably. My wife and I had gone past the point of no return, sailing into uncharted waters of perversions and odd kink.

We had had clown sex and there was no way of going back. Not that either of us wanted to go back.

When you have made a life with someone it can sometimes get a bit bland. After kids, a dog, and bills, sometimes the old spontaneity of the relationship is lost. Enter clown sex.

It's important to sometimes reignite the flames of passion. One of the great things about marriage is the ability to push into unknown and odd territories without inhibition because you trust your life partner. This doesn't mean everyone should go out and get face paint; it just means when the opportunity arises to break from the routine, seize it!

And why not? Getting weird with the one you love is fun and worth the story. My wife and I haven't stopped laughing since turning our bedroom into Barnum and Booty.

We aren't running out to buy red noses so we can play "Find the Honker," but for a one time thing we had fun and the good mood from that night has rolled on.

I am a bit worried though. How do you top clown sex? This is a level of perversion you not only can't come back from but have a hard time topping. Especially if, like in my relationship, you don't actively plan these things.

I can't rely on impromptu situations to come up where we can top that night. I now have to go find a magic wand and learn some illusions so we can play "Pull The Rabbit From The Hat" if you catch my drift.


This article was originally published at Coffee Table Confessions. Reprinted with permission from the author.