Photo: Mia Harvey on Unsplash
Sex: it's what's for dinner.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Jun 11, 2021
Sex is an important part of our lives. Without it, there would be no life.
You don't have to be a particularly risqué person to create a bucket list full of sex things to do before you die that will keep you and your partner busy for years to come.
I'm a fairly vanilla girl, and I consider my sex life to be great. But because we're humans beings, we age and die (damn you, science!). So we've only got a fixed amount of time to get nasty and try new things in the bedroom before we shuffle off this mortal coil.
Before you get there, there's so much sexiness to be had.
Here are 50 sexy ideas to put on your sex bucket list.
Trust me — you won't regret doing any of them.
1. Have a one-night stand.
There's something sexy, dangerous, and empowering about the idea of a one-night stand. You know what's even better? Actually having one.
After a breakup, one guy I met in a bar asked me to come back to his hotel room to partake of recreational drugs and oral pleasure. I said no, and it's something I will regret until the day I die.
That said, he might have been a serial murderer for all I know. Go get crazy, feel no shame — but also be safe. I'm not just talking condoms here, guys. I'm talking maybe a taser and a friend who's required to text you every hour until you return home safely.
2. Participate in a threesome.
Threesomes are traditionally the fantasy terrain of straight cis males. You know what, forget that noise. Get some willing dudes and take the man plunge.
A successful threesome is all about communication. Don't be afraid to take your time planning your encounter in advance.
This goes double if you're in a couple inviting a third in. What turns you on, what's off limits — these are all things you need to discuss before getting your delicious freak on.
3. Put ice in your mouth when performing oral sex.
This is one of those Cosmo tips that's legit the business. (Cosmo tip that's not the business? Using a scrunchie as a c*** ring. Hate the game not the player, I guess? Regardless, please stop putting hair ties on penises.)
With that out of the way, putting ice in his mouth or your own heightens the pleasure of receiving. Prepare to feel all of the things.
4. Have sex in the water.
But do not do it in a heated pool, Jacuzzi, or the ocean, because germs. And errant jellyfish. And lubrication getting washed away.
Get your freak on in the shower at least once. It's not always the easiest thing to do, and there's definitely a learning curve.
If you prefer to reserve phrases like "We'll get in next time" for scavenger hunts, then at least do yourself the service of making out in the shower with someone. Please.
5. Have sex in public.
I'm not saying grab a one-way ticket to Sex City on the oyster bar where you've just enjoyed some slimy treats, but maybe in their bathroom. After all, one slimy treat begets another, no?
6. Wear sexy lingerie.
Dress your sexy, naked self up at least once. Find something that makes you feel beautiful and rock it.
I've always wanted to rock a teddy in the bedroom but I've perpetually lacked the confidence to do it up proper. That all changes now. I mean, not like, right now, because I'm writing this article and owe you the rest — but soon.
7. Make foreplay a priority.
The main event is where it's at, for sure. But my god, if you want things to get really hot, slow... it... down.
Make out like a teenager. Keep your clothes on as long as possible and prepare for a major league intense experience. I'm talking orgasms for days.
Photo: Dean Drobot / Shutterstock
8. Try anal play.
There are all manner of fun things that happen with that other hole in your body, and I'm not just talking about poops (though they're fun in their own right).
Ask your partner to insert a digit while he's penetrating you and, holy Moses, you will receive revelations.
9. Stimulate his prostate.
What's good for the gander is also good for the goose's butt.
If you can properly stimulate his prostate, you shall be considered as a god among women. It's a parallel experience to learning how to stimulate a woman's G-spot.
One of the easiest points of access is through the butt. Keep your nails short and never force anything.
Working your way up to full insertion can take time. Once you're in, you'll feel a small spongy nugget, and then it's all about making that "come hither" gesture with your index finger. Let him take the lead from there, as prostate stimulation can be insanely intense.
10. Take a prolonged sexcation.
You. Them. A hotel. Your apartment. Phones on silent. Water and snacks prepped. Clothes not allowed. The most intense 24 hours of your life. And go.
11. Dirty talk.
You don't have to be a cunning linguist to make dirty talk work.
Do you like that thing he's doing to your neck? Tell him. Does it feel very good? Sub out very for the F-word. Boom. Now you know how to talk dirty.
12. Have drunk sex.
You're drunk, he's drunk, maybe no one is going to climax. That's not the point.
With your inhibitions super-lowered, you can get messy, aggressive, and just the right amount of animalistic. Visit your caveman self with drunk sex.
13. Ask him to 'edge' — or try edging together.
Do you know what edging is? Let me save you some terrible Googling. Edging is when you bring yourself back from the brink just before orgasm in order to prolong sex and intensify your eventual climax.
One way to get him to do this is to yell, "no sperms!" at a critical moment. Just kidding, that's a terrible idea. The real way to do it is with time and practice.
14. Experience Tantric sex.
If you're into spirituality, nothing heightens intimacy and connects a couple more than the practice of Tantra.
Try not to think about Sting during (I mean, unless that's your deal). Instead, focus on matching your breath to your partner's breath, and maintaining lots of eye contact.
Is it hot in here now or have I simply aroused myself?
15. Roleplay.
This isn't for everyone, but neither is tuna fish.
If you're a history buff, why not don the garb of Jefferson and Adams, and get all kinds of historical on each other's parts? (Lol, Adams. You just know he was a pillow queen.)
16. Touch yourself.
It's still shocking to me when I encounter another adult who cringes at the idea of mutual masturbation.
The key to good sex is communication, right? You can tell him how you want your bean flicked until the cows come home, but sometimes showing is better than telling. That goes for him, too.
Photo: Roman Samborskyi / Shutterstock
17. Don't have sex at all.
Did I just blow your mind? I know, I'm brilliant.
As great as sex is, it can start to feel stale, a part of our routine. Put yourself on a sex diet, for even just a week.
That doesn't mean you can't make out; in fact, I encourage this. Then, when you hit the sheets next, you'll be hot and ready.
18. Have sex on a carousel.
I just wanted to see if you were still paying attention.
But maybe try this. Just make sure no babies or squirrels are watching. (Babies are easily traumatized and squirrels are known perverts.)
19. Watch porn together.
Porn isn't what real sex is like, but it is where we take some of our cues about the inner fantasy lives of our partners. Porn also dictates how we groom (or don't) our pubic hair.
There's something sexy and ever-so-slightly devious about watching porn with someone else. If you find the right clip, it can also be hot as hell.
20. Massage each other.
There are few things more relaxing, more intimate, or more sensual than massage.
Be you the giver, or be you the receiver, the careful exploration of flesh and the firm work on tight muscles is relaxing and... titillating.
21. Make a sex tape.
Who doesn't want to see themselves getting off? Tape the "show" so you can relive your awesome lovemaking skills over and over again.
If you're a bit paranoid or uncomfortable, you can always burn the tape later.
22. Have silent sex in a full house.
It's Easter and you just need to have your partner right now. Sneak away to a closet or a guest room. Lock the door and go at it, but you can't make a sound. How hot is that?
And if you aren't quiet, he can help make you quiet by clasping his hand over your mouth. Just imagine it!
23. Use sex toys.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, sex toys are a wonderful way to really make things so much sexier when things have gotten a little stale. Whether it's for you or your partner doesn't matter; what's important is that it brings you pleasure.
24. Try new oral sex positions.
Rather than jumping right into sexual penetration, slow things down a bit. Just the feeling of him swirling his tongue around and probing your clitoris is orgasmic.
Of course, they need to know how to do it right. You aren't digging a hole to China down there, guys.
Photo: Photographee.eu / Shutterstock
25. Bring whipped cream into the bedroom.
Whipped cream is a fun and exciting thing to add. Just spread it all over each other's bodies and lick it up.
But keep clear of genitals so no one gets a bacterial infection.
26. Have car sex.
Sure, it may be cramped and not super comfy, but it's definitely fun. Having sex in a car is an adventure.
You have to figure out how to fit, how to not get caught, and how to actually get each other off. The windows will fog up and the car may start to shake, so much so that it will almost feel like a movie.
27. Give road head.
While we're on the topic of cars, giving your man a blow job while he drives is a sexual feat that some don't even consider doing.
There are some downsides like the danger and risk, but that danger only makes it more riveting and exciting. Doing something forbidden is incredibly sexy.
28. Have a quickie.
They are fast, fun, and spontaneous. You can have a quickie right before work, on your lunch break, or combine two items on this list and have a quickie in the car before heading into a movie or restaurant.
It works best if you're in a skirt or dress for easy access.
29. Have sex on a plane.
That's right, join the mile-high club. It's looked down upon, especially by fellow travelers, but that's what makes it so much fun.
Steal away in a plane bathroom and have a fun time. Just be sure you don't get stuck in the toilet. Nothing beats climaxing at 30,000 feet high!
30. Have phone sex.
Talking dirty has never been more fun than when you do it over the phone. This opens so many opportunities as to what you can say and do.
Talk about fantasies, describe what you're wearing, and say how you feel. Make it extra-special and romantic by ending the call with a sweet "I love you."
31. Experiment with the same sex.
You never know until you try. If one or both of you have any interest in the same sex, why not experiement?
College is when people normally do this, but it's never too late to experiment with your sexuality.
32. Participate in an orgy.
If you're into group activities, an orgy is the way to go. So many bodies, so many places to kiss, so many lips to kiss you... it will get hot and heavy quickly.
Just make sure you and your partner are on the same page first.
Photo: dotshock / Shutterstock
33. Tie each other up.
Some people enjoy being tied up and others like being the one doing the tying. Find out which one you are by trying both.
People find bondage hot because they enjoy the feeling of helplessness that's involved. This sexual act also helps increase trust in your partner.
34. Go to a sex club.
When you find the right sex club to go to, it can be exciting and erotic. There, you can experiment with all kinds of sexual activities and ways of living.
You'll also meet some great people, all while strengthening your bond.
35. Have married sex.
Once you take your vows (if you decide to do that), the wedding night is fabulous.
Having sex as a married couple brings you to a whole new level of connection and closeness. And sometimes, there's nothing better than married sex.
36. Try spanking.
Light spanking can make a girl go wild if she's into it. (Guys too, of course!) Experiment with different techniques and see what you both like best.
You never know until you try it, so why wouldn't you include spanking on your sex bucket list?
37. Stand up against the wall.
Having sex against a wall gives off the vibe that you couldn't wait to make it to the bed. This most likely will mean that you need it... now.
This works best in your own home, but if you're feeling particularly naughty, go to a public place. The sex will be fast, animalistic, and exciting.
38. Dry hump.
Rather than jumping right into sex, rub each other's bodies up and down while you make out. You can do this in bed, on the couch, or even on the carpet — as long as you make it sexy.
Plus, it's a great way to revisit old memories of high school, when you'd dry hump in the back of your boyfriend's car.
39. Give a strip tease.
Pick out a sexy outfit and bust out all your favorite moves. Even if you've never done a strip tease before, your partner is sure to enjoy the show you put on.
Be sure to select a song that makes you feel comfortable and empowered. You can even take turns stripping for one another in the hottest outfit you can find.
40. Incorporate food and sex.
There are so many foods couples use in the bedroom that increase their libido and sex drive. These include foods like bananas or grapes, and even chocolate sauce.
Pour the food all over each other and clean it up with your mouths. Or, you can even feed it to each other before you have a sexy romp.
You might need paper towels or napkins, so make sure to have those handy.
Photo: VGstockstudio / Shutterstock
41. Try on nipple clamps.
For added stimulation and pleasure, consider using nipple clamps before or during sex. Not only do they increase sensation, but you may find that you enjoy it very much!
And you may also find out that you're fully capable of having a nipple orgasm. But you'll never know until you try!
42. Blindfold each other.
While this is considered a part of BDSM and bondage, take the dominant/submissive relationship to the next level with sensory foreplay. You can even incorporate food into blindfold play.
And this once again shows your partner how much you trust them.
43. Have sex on the beach.
Fair warning, you'll most likely get sand in places you don't want sand, but you can check it off the list. Put a towel down first or set up a tent on the beach if you want to avoid contact with sand as much as possible.
Listen to the waves as you make love and feel the texture of the ground underneath your bodies. And if you're feeling particularly nerdy, quote that famous Anakin Skywalker quote about sand. If you know, you know.
44. Send nudes.
Sending nudes is something all of us should do before we die. But there are a few safety protocols to put in place first. Don't put your face in any of the photos you take, even though you're just sending it to your partner.
Also, don't give too much away in your photos. While you and your partner may have seen each other naked many times before, the point of a nude photo is to keep them wanting more.
45. Try remote-controlled underwear.
Take it to another level by going out in public, maybe even out to a romantic dinner, while your partner holds the controls. See how much you contain yourself and your excitement before you have to excuse yourself and orgasm.
46. Go through the Kama Sutra.
Try every position in the book, meaning from front to back, and then back to front, being sure you didn't miss anything. You can try different positions on different days, or go for a new record and do them all one after the other!
Mark your favorite positions and save them to try again.
47. Use body paint.
Make things incredibly erotic by stripping all your clothes off and painting one another from head to toe. Add an element of deliciousness by using edible body paint that you can lick off one another.
48. Be a voyeur.
Voyeurism means watching people have sex live on camera. This is different than porn because it's an immersive experience.
These people are right in front of you — so close, you can see the sweat coming off of them and smell the sex in the air!
So, either be voyeurs by watching others, or take a chance and become the subject yourselves.
Photo: Alex Volot / Shutterstock
49. Reenact a movie sex scene.
This is for the dramatic people out there. Try role-playing and acting out one of your favorite sex scenes from a movie.
We all envy Rose's handprint in that steamy scene from "Titanic," the rough and tough scene from "Brokeback Mountain," or make it super-weird with that scene from "Midsommar."
50. Have good old missionary in bed.
Tradition has its perks. Sometimes you really just need to lay on the bed and have him on top while you focus on your pleasure. Sure, it might be a little "vanilla," but there's nothing wrong with sticking to what you know best.
Just look into the eyes of each other until you both reach your respective climax.
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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer and the Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek with a passion for lifestyle, geek news, and true crime.