20 Things To Do Sexually Before You Get Old And Die With Regrets

Photo: Mia Harvey on Unsplash
20 Things To Do Sexually Before You Get Old And Die With Regrets

Sex: it's what's for dinner.

It's an important part of our lives. Without it, there would be no life. I know, I know, stuff just got heavy, but stay with me ...

You don't have to be a particularly risqué person to create a sex bucket list that will keep you and your partner busy for years to come.

I'm a fairly vanilla girl, and I consider my sex life to be dope as hell. But because we're humans beings and as such, we age and die (damn you, science!).

So we've only got a fixed amount of time to get nasty and try new things in the bedroom before we shuffle off this mortal coil.

Before you get there, there's so much sexiness to be had.

Here are 20 sexy ideas to put on your sex bucket list.

Trust me, you won't regret doing any of them.

1. Have a one-night stand

There's something sexy, dangerous, and empowering about the idea of a one-night stand. You know what's even better? Actually having one.

After a breakup, one guy I met in a bar asked me to come back to his hotel room to partake of recreational drugs and oral pleasure. I said no, and it's something I will regret until the day I die.

That said, he might have been a serial murderer for all I know. Go get crazy, feel no shame — but also be safe. I'm not just talking condoms here, guys. I'm talking maybe a taser and a friend who's required to text you every hour until you return home safely.

2. Participate in a threesome

Threesomes are traditionally the fantasy terrain of straight cis males. You know what, forget that noise. Get some willing dudes and take the man plunge.

A successful threesome is all about communication. Don't be afraid to take your time planning your encounter in advance.

This goes double if you're in a couple inviting a third in. What turns you on, what's off limits — these are all things you need to discuss before getting your delicious freak on.

RELATED: The Beginner's Guide To Having The Hottest Threesome Ever (In 5 Easy Steps)

3. Put ice in your mouth when performing oral sex

This is one of those Cosmo tips that's legit the business. (Cosmo tip that's not the business? Using a scrunchie as a c— ring. But I mean, hate the game not the player, I guess? Regardless, please stop putting hair ties on penises.)

With that out of the way, putting ice in his mouth or your own heightens the pleasure of receiving like WHOA. Prepare to feel all of the things.

4. Have sex in the water

But do not do it in a heated pool, Jacuzzi, or the ocean, because germs. And errant jellyfish. And lubrication getting washed away.

Get your freak on in the shower at least once. It's not always the easiest thing to do, and there's definitely a learning curve.

If you prefer to reserve phrases like "We'll get in next time" for scavenger hunts, then at least do yourself the service of making out in the shower with someone. Please.

5. Have sex in public

I'm not saying grab a one-way ticket to Sex City on the oyster bar where you've just enjoyed some slimy treats, but maybe in their bathroom.

After all, one slimy treat begets another, no?

RELATED: The 5 Best Places To Have Sex In Public Without Getting Caught

6. Wear sexy lingerie

Dress your sexy, naked self up at least once. Find something that makes you feel beautiful and rock it.

I've always wanted to rock a teddy in the bedroom but I've perpetually lacked the confidence to do it up proper. That all changes now.

I mean, not like, right now, because I'm writing this article and owe you the rest — but soon.

7. Make foreplay a priority

The main event is where it's at, for sure. But my god, if you want things to get really hot, slow ... it ... down.

Make out like a teenager. Keep your clothes on as long as possible and prepare for a major league intense experience. I'm talking orgasms for days.

8. Try anal play

There are all manner of fun things that happen with that other hole in your body, and I ain't just talking about poops (though they're fun in their own right).

Ask your partner to insert a digit while he's penetrating you and, holy Moses, you will receive revelations.

9. Stimulate his prostate

What's good for the gander is also good for the goose's butt.

If you can properly stimulate his prostate, you shall be considered as a god among women. It's a parallel experience to learning how to stimulate a woman's G-spot.

One of the easiest points of access is through the booty. Keep your nails short and never force anything.

Working your way up to full insertion can take time. Once you're in (all hail Lord Lube), you'll feel a small spongy nugget, and then it's all about making that "come hither" gesture with your index finger. Let him take the lead from there, as prostate stimulation can be insanely intense.

RELATED: What It's Like When A Guy Orgasms From Butt Play

10. Take a prolonged sexcation


You. Them. A hotel. Your apartment. Phones on silent. Water and snacks prepped. Clothes not allowed.

The most intense 24 hours of your life. And go.

11. Dirty talk

You don't have to be a cunning linguist to make dirty talk work.

Do you like that thing he's doing to your neck? Tell him.

Does it feel very good? Sub out very for the F-word.

Boom. Now you know how to talk dirty.

12. Have drunk sex

You're drunk, he's drunk, maybe no one is going to climax. That's not the point.

With your inhibitions super-lowered, you can get messy, aggressive, and just the right amount of animalistic.

Visit your caveman self with drunk sex.

13. Ask him to "edge" — or try edging together

Do you know what edging is? Let me save you some terrible Googling. Edging is when you bring yourself back from the brink just before orgasm in order to prolong sex and intensify your eventual climax.

One way to get him to do this is to yell, "NO SPERMS!" at a critical moment.

Just kidding, that's a terrible idea. The real way to do it is with time and practice.

RELATED: If You Don't Know About Edging, You're Missing So Many Orgasms

14. Experience Tantric sex

If you're into spirituality, nothing heightens intimacy and connects a couple more than the practice of Tantra.

Try not to think about Sting during (I mean, unless that's your deal).

Instead, focus on matching your breath to your partner's breath, and maintaining lots of eye contact.

Is it hot in here now or have I simply aroused myself?

15. Role play

This isn't for everyone, but neither is tuna fish. If you're a history buff, why not don the garb of Jefferson and Adams, and get all kinds of historical on each other's parts?

(Lol, Adams. You just know he was a pillow queen.)

RELATED: What It Means When Guys Call A Woman A 'Starfish' Or 'Pillow Princess'

16. Touch yourself

It's still shocking to me when I encounter another adult who cringes at the idea of mutual masturbation.

The key to good sex is communication, right? You can tell him how you want your bean flicked until the cows come home, but sometimes showing is better than telling.

That goes for him, too.

17. Don't have sex at all

Did I just blow your mind? I know, I'm brilliant.

As great as sex is, it can start to feel stale, a part of our routine. Put yourself on a sex diet, for even just a week. That doesn't mean you can't get your make-out on; in fact, I encourage this.

Then, when you hit the sheets next, you'll be hot and ready.

18. Have sex on a carousel

I just wanted to see if you were still paying attention.

But maybe try this. Just make sure no babies or squirrels are watching. Babies are easily traumatized and squirrels are known perverts.

19. Watch porn together

Porn isn't what real sex is like, but it is where we take some of our cues about the inner fantasy lives of our partners. Porn also dictates how we groom (or don't) our pubes.

There's something sexy and ever-so-slightly devious about watching porn with someone else. If you find the right clip, it can also be hot as hell. Unless it's that Spongebob porn. That's very much not hot.

20. Massage each other

There are few things more relaxing, more intimate, or more (gag me) sensual than massage.

Be you the giver, or be you the receiver, the careful exploration of flesh and the firm work on tight muscles is relaxing and (giggity) titillating.

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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.