If You Don't Know About Edging, You're Missing SO MANY Orgasms

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what is edging and how do you do it

Sex on the edge is intense.

Edging, also known as orgasm control is maintaining a high level of arousal without orgasm.

"You're basically taking that few seconds of, 'Oh, wow, I'm going to come' and extending it for a lot longer," says Charlie Glickman, sex and relationship coach, and author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure. "In addition to being extremely pleasurable in itself, it can also make your orgasm even more intense, too. Since you're already highly aroused, peaking from there means going even higher," Glickman says.

Not to be confused with premature ejaculation, edging is the act of one bringing themselves to the brink or edge of orgasm, and then stopping, starting again, and repeating the cycle. It can be part of dominance and submission play or not, depending on what you're into.

Erotic novelist, Elia Winters said, "As part of orgasm denial and delay, it's especially effective. Bringing your partner to the edge over and over gets them desperate to come and to do whatever's necessary to achieve that orgasm. If your partner doesn't know if they'll get an orgasm or just an edge, the uncertainty adds a level of excitement to the sexual play. If punishment and reward is part of your dynamic, then it's effective to edge your partner and ask them to perform sexually to earn their orgasm."

Most women need at least 20 minutes of sexual activity to climax. If your partner continually reaches orgasm much faster than you do, edging will definitely help to slow him down. But not everybody wants a super-long sex session, so the time of the sex session should be adapted to what a woman desires.

But going from zero to 100 and achieving orgasm immediately probably isn't what any woman wants, and there are some techniques that will help to build the bigger, better orgasm.

"If you imagine an arousal scale with orgasm at a 10, some people edge by trying to remain as close to that as possible, like 9.8 or 9.9. If that works for you, go for it. But you might find that you end up over-stimulated, which can make it more difficult or even impossible to orgasm," says Glickman.

Instead of doing the same things over and over, trying mixing your sexual play up with lots of different moves, methods, and positions. This way, you'll stay aroused without becoming over-stimulated.

"A lot of people find that edging feels better if they bring a little more rise-and-fall to their arousal. Rather than aiming for 9.8 or 9.9, they might have a range like 8 to 9.9. Think of it like being on a roller coaster. The fun comes from the up and down, as well as the speed," Glickman explains.

Men aren't the only ones who can edge — it's a technique that women can utilize as well and can give them intense orgasms. But how does a woman practice edging? When a woman nears orgasm, her heart beats faster, her breathing becomes more rapid, her muscles tighten, and her clitoris retracts under the hood. Blood rushes to her pelvic area, her labia will flatten out and her vagina will lengthen and widen.

Writer, women's health advocate and poet, Keisha D, writes, "This [body's preparation for orgasm] all leads to increased sensitivity and pleasure from every little movement of her partner. It's important to note that this needs to be intentional and not accidental. Nearing climax and then not reaching it can be frustrating and prevent a woman from making it back to that moment. The ever-increasing sensation and blood flow eventually lead to an over-the-top mind-blowing orgasm for a woman."

Masturbation is a good way to practice edging when you're alone, or you can use it during sex to help delay the onset of ejaculation.

Winters says, "For women, edging before penetration makes it more likely that she'll orgasm during penetration. If she normally takes a long time to come, then having her edge beforehand takes some pressure off the male partner, who doesn't have to last as long." 

If you or your partner can master the art of edging, both of your orgasms will be off the charts. And knowing that your partner takes satisfying you seriously, delaying his immediate orgasm is arousing in and of itself.