Because slip and falls aren't sexy.
Here's a look at the good, the bad, and the slippery — and 11 tips on how to have shower sex that's safe and steamy:
1. DO prep the bathroom for romance.
Before you get naked for shower sex, it's time to bring sexy back ... to your bathroom. If sexy was ever there to begin with, that is. Prep your lavatory for shower sex by cleaning the shower and putting away any shampoos, soap, and other items you're not going to use with your partner. Because nothing kills the mood like accidentally sitting on your razor during a sensual scrub down.
Then stock the shower with goodies to pamper your partner — soft washcloths, a loofah, invigorating body wash and shampoo — and plenty of extra towels. For safety's sake, you might also want to add a non-slip mat to the shower floor. Slipping and sliding have their place; this is not it.
Now consider the rest of the bathroom's ambiance. Fluorescent lighting and bathroom smells (yes, we went there) aren't typically considered aphrodisiacs. So tidy up, play soft music and light some scented candles.
And if privacy's an issue, make sure the door locks — or you're setting yourself up for a major buzz kill. We partnered up with Durex to make sure you got only the top do's and don'ts to make sure your next shower is as sexy as possible!
2. DO get "dirty" … if you want.
Maybe you want hard, fast "balls-to-the-stalls" shower sex. Maybe you're looking for a slow, gentle massage. Or maybe you're going for a combo. The most important thing to remember about how to have shower sex: Enjoy yourself and your partner.
"The shared shower is an erotic opportunity," says YourTango Expert Pamela Madsen, a sex and intimacy coach and founder of the Back to the Body sensuous retreat for women. "It gives you access to places you can't normally reach in bed. So take full advantage and find sexiness in all the corners of the body however you want."
3. DON'T start out actually dirty.
Showering together is a chance for you and your partner to explore each other's bodies more thoroughly than usual. But it's not the time for body hair removal, pore extractions, or any other meticulous personal grooming — on you or your partner. Tend to all that before you bathe together. (Unless you're into that sort of thing ... )
4. DO take advantage of bath accessories.
Oh, the magical things a shower head — and washcloth and tingly body wash — can do! In the shower, you and your partner have a number of sensual tools at your disposal. Experiment with different water temperatures and shower head settings. For some extra splish splash, add lube and a waterproof sex toy to the mix.
Just make sure to share the shower head, if you have only one. (And thank your lucky stars if you have two.)
5. DON'T loofah your hoo-ha.
Couples can do some pretty dangerous things in the heat of the moment. Remember: Just because a soap or body wash feels good on the rest of your body doesn't mean it's OK to put on private parts. You wouldn't use a rubber ducky as a condom. So don't even think about using hair conditioner or body wash as lube.
6. DO take your time.
You're lathering your partner up so slowly it's driving him wild. Now what? Try doing it even slower, Madsen advises. "Think of how geishas used to erotically bathe men. Take this time to be a giver."
To that end, make sure you have the time it takes to have a fulfilling experience. You won't get as much out of a couples' shower if you've got to be at work in 15 minutes or the kids are banging on the bathroom door because they have to potty.
7. DON'T make it a marathon.
Eventually, you will run out of hot water. And hands aren't the only body parts that get prune-y.
8. DO try different sex positions positions.
Shower sex is all about building trust, being spontaneous, and knowing your limits. Oh, and it can be really hot, too. If it's the first time you and your partner have gotten wet and wild, be prepared for some trial and error.
If you're around the same height, it might be easier to stand and face each rather than attempt any heavy lifting or yoga bending. If you have a combination shower/tub, consider having the shorter person stand on the edge of the bathtub and hold on to the wall for stability while the taller person stands on the shower floor. (Pro tip: Never hang on to the shower curtain.)
Another idea: Have one partner bend over, as far as he or she is comfortable (hands on the edge of the tub works) while the other ... ahem, scrubs and rubs, from behind. If all else fails, sit or lie on the shower floor and get busy.
9. DON'T change positions too quickly.
There's no official stat, but we'd guess that 97.5 percent of shower sex injuries come from getting too excited and rushing into or out of position. Obviously, it's important to switch things up if you or your shower-mate feel too precarious. But slow down, partners! Take your time to avoid slipping on the tub or crashing through the shower doors. Giving and receiving is awesome, but not when head injuries are involved.
10. DO shower for foreplay … or all the way.
"Shower sex is an opportunity to play differently with your partner," says Madsen. "It's not something you can get wrong or right." If you and your partner feel like ditching the stall and finishing up in bed or on the bathmat, do your thing. Just don't leave the water running.
11. DON'T give up if it's a wash (pun intended).
Showering together might not be as easy as your normal solo routine. It takes preparation, teamwork and time. Not to mention the possibility of being left out in the cold (i.e. out of the water’s reach).
But don't let a challenging first time — bruises, a minor bathroom flood, water in your eyes — discourage future experimentation. Novel experiences keep couples bonded. Besides, a few more shower sessions, and you and your partner will know exactly what the two of you like, how you like it, and pass the washcloth, please.