7 All-Too-Common Reasons Women Fake Orgasms (Sorry, Guys)

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fake orgasms

Not all bad!

By Georgette Todd

Recently, my best friend told me that I needed to watch "Masters of Sex," an American Drama Series on Showtime that follows the lives of William Masters (played by Michael Sheen) and Virginia Johnson (Lizzy Caplan), who were the pioneers of the science of human sexuality. A few days later, I gave the pilot a shot and enjoyed it enough to not secretly resent my friend for wasting my time. 

In one of the opening scenes, Masters appeared befuddled when a prostitute told him casually that most women fake orgasms. He asked why would women do such a thing? The answer didn't come until later, when Johnson said, "To get the man to finish, so we could go back to doing what we'd rather be doing."

For me, that response rings true. Now, I don't always fake it but whenever I do, it's usually because of one the following reasons below: 

1. I hate all that exercise. 

Sex is a very physical activity and I know from experience that all that moving around externally is not always going to pay off internally. So, when sex goes from being a physical way to express love or lust to a race to getting off, it's a turn-off for me. I hate it when sex feels like a chore or a relational obligation. 

2. I don't want to make you work so hard. 

If my guy is sitting back and I'm doing all the work and nothing I seem to do is getting him off, then I will not only feel exhausted and defeated but somehow, less of a person. I never would want my partner to feel like "less of a man" for not getting me to the big O, especially if he is doing all that he can.

So, a quick body quiver and moaning will save you any unnecessary extra efforts and it will save me from appearing as if I'm some frigid ice queen. 

3. You won't believe me if I say, "It's not you, it's me."

Look, sometimes I had a bad day or I'm just not body confident. Whatever the reason, there are times where it has nothing to do with the man in my life.

I've never met a man who didn't believe me when I told them that it was me, which sometimes it was (I know this because if the trusty vibrator can't get me off...) Anyway, men have taken personal responsibility for not getting me to orgasm despite my reassurances or protestations. 

4. You make me feel good enough. 

While vibrators are quick and easy, no machine can compare to the feeling of a strong broad chest, warm skin that just got out of the shower, muscular arms holding you, the scent of the man-animal ravaging you in a heat of passion. Kissing and foreplay sometimes is enough for me.

If you add sex to the equation, then there is this underlying pressure to "perform," as in act like I had an orgasm. 

5. I don't want to hurt your feelings or ego. 

I can imagine that if I were a man, thrusting and sweating and basically doing all the work while my partner is lying there and taking it, I'd want some kind of payoff for all my efforts. If I see how hard my guy is working at getting me off and he's held back, I just want to do him a favor and let him release. I'm giving him a break. 

6. I wasn't in the mood to begin with. 

I'm never forced into having sex. However, because I love my man and I'm naturally affectionate, I will respond to foreplay even if I'm not really in the mood.

Sometimes I can get into the mood, and sometimes I can't. In the times that I can't, the reason almost always has nothing to do with my partner, but rather where I'm at emotionally or biologically. 

7. I already had multiple orgasms with my cotton candy colored vibrator. 

Sometimes I stimulate myself and because the rushing sensations feel so wonderful, I always finish vibrating once I get started. So while you're in the shower or on your way home, I try to get myself in the mood by vibrating. Getting good vibrations is another reason why I may fake it with you. 

It should go without saying that I don't represent all women. So, if there any reasons why you women fake it that isn't covered in this article, please feel free to state them in the comments below. I, and I'm sure the men and lesbians of the world, would be very interested in discovering why you fake the O. 

This article was originally published at BlogHer. Reprinted with permission from the author.