5 Reasons We're SO Dang Secretive About Our Sex Lives [VIDEO]


What gives?!

Even though we've made A LOT of progress when it comes to sexuality, some things are still lacking. We're all adults here and yet for some reason, we can't talk about our sex lives (or our bodies!) without feeling super embarrassed.

Just why is discussing our sex lives so taboo, anyway? When you're constantly being weighed down by conventional views of what is and isn't okay to say, it sends a mixed message.

Let's be real. If you can't open up about your wants and needs to your partner, how can you expect anything to improve? 

YourTango's Senior VP Melanie Gorman, Writer and Couple's Therapist Ian Kerner, author Dr. Sonia Borg, Lifestyle and Parenting Strategist Natalie Blais and Couples and Sex Therapist Megan Pollock raise some great points about why we're so shy when it comes to sharing and how this can really impact our relationships in the future.

1. It all starts with your parents.

Ever since we were kids, we've been told that talking about sex in any capacity isn't polite. For some reason, those views stayed with us even though we're much older. 

Natalie backs up this idea that our childhood shapes the way we view sex today. At 3:23, she says "So much of our shame goes back to what we learned as kids. And I think about what messages do kids get about sex: 'Don't do it. That's not for you. That's wrong. That's bad. You [must] wait.' And then, those messages never evolve [as we get older]."

2. Society pretty much brainwashes you from the beginning.

The fact that we give our body parts silly names to "be proper" says it all. If we can't be upfront when talking about our bodies, we'll never be comfortable in them.

Do yourself a favor. Stop letting society dictate what you do with your partner.

3. Talking about it can sometimes feel super intimidating.

Getting to the point where you can openly tell your partner how you're feeling in bed doesn't come easy for everyone. But taking it step by step will bring you so much closer. Trust us, the pay off is worth it.

4. It's in your DNA.

According to Writer and Therapist Ian Kerner, men tend to be a bit more shy in the sharing department. It's up to you to warm him up to the conversation without making him feel too overwhelmed.

5. You're afraid of being judged.

Don't ever let anyone make you feel ashamed for being into certain things. PERIOD.