Why Your 'Dating Checklist' Is Actually Ruining Your Chances Of True Love


If you're considering jumping back into the dating scene, knowing exactly what you are looking for can have some major perks. After all, you want to find true love, right?

But, being too specific in your dating criteria might have some hang-ups that you had no idea were possible.

In fact, being so dead set on checking things off of your dating checklist (that are way too specific) can actually end up working against you. There's a difference between having an idea of the type of guy or relationship you are looking for versus closing yourself off from other opportunities.

RELATED: 10 Dating Tips I REALLY Wish I'd Followed While I Was Single​

But walking the line between the two can be rather confusing if you aren’t sure where to start or what you should be looking for.

Are your deal breakers killing your chances at finding true love? And if so, how can you reselect them so that you’re opening yourself to possibilities, while also keeping the important factors that you absolutely need intact?

In the YourTango Experts video above, YourTango Founder and CEO Andrea Miller, Anthropologist and Human Behavior Researcher Helen Fisher, Licensed Clinical Social Worker Carole Spivack, Psychologist Barbara Holstein, and founder of DateLikeaGrownup.com Bobbi Palmer talk about different ways to build the "right" checklist that will actually help you find someone worthy of your love.

This isn't to say that you should get rid of your checklist completely. In fact, doing that will force you to judge your new relationship based on chemistry and physical attraction alone, which can sometimes lead you the wrong way — even if you both have the best intentions.

It's so important to have standards! However, the key is making a small checklist based on certain questions that are based on what is most important to you. This can account for whether that is financial stability or if that person fights fair when you’re arguing.

After all, your checklist of either "musts" or “deal breakers” is an important part of your dating strategy. When done correctly, it can help you reach your goals in a relationship without sacrificing the core parts that you need in order to feel fulfilled.

However, if you're struggling to find love, it's likely that your checklist needs to be tweaked a bit. 

For example, finding a balance between your needs and what's realistic might be as simple as changing your criteria of “wealthy” to making sure the right guy has a stable job history that shows dedication and  a strong work ethic.

Likewise, wanting your potential partner to be intelligent and able to hold a healthy discussion with you is a lot healthier of a goal than trying to find someone who specifically went to Harvard Law.

And if your deal breakers are too specific, then you’ll likely know that, too — since it seems like every guy, no matter who you date, isn’t up to your very high standards. 

So don't let your checklist sabotage your chances of finding love. At the end of the day, the "right checklist" is not about superficial things — it’s about how the person makes you feel. 

If you remember that, then love is right around the corner.

RELATED: How To Get Exactly What You Deserve In Your Relationship (Without Seeming Needy)

If you need any love or relationship advice, then reach out to our YourTango Experts! They're here to help, and they'd love to talk with you about any dating or romance problem you might have.