The Real Danger In Faking The Big 'O'

dissatisfied woman in bed

He can see through your acted 'oohing' and 'ahhing' anyway.

The first time I was asked about having an orgasm I actually had no idea what the guy was even talking about. The conversation went like this:

Guy: "How many times did you, you know?"

Me: "Ummm ... a lot."

Yes, that was my introduction into a topic I literally knew nothing about known as the orgasm. I talked to my friends about the elusive O and realized that no I had not experienced it that first night and would’ve definitely known if I had! According to research between 50-67 percent of women have faked orgasms with their partner. So the big question is why?

Faking it seems to be the way many of us cope with people and events in our life. For example, we smile at the co-worker we really want to punch in the face, or pretend to like our best friend's cat-loving boyfriend when we meet him for the first time. And how many times have we all eaten a meal cooked for us by someone we love that we really hated, but said it was great anyway? Women are natural people pleasers and we learn the art of plastering a smile on our face, and being nice to everyone no matter how we feel about them. We are constantly told to be polite, kind, and sweet because that's how a proper lady behaves. While I do not feel we should go around punching annoying co-workers, or screaming our way through life, I do feel we need to breakdown the notion of being polite no matter what just so that others will like us.

One way this type of people pleasing behavior seems to plague us is in our romantic relationships. Often women put the needs of their partners ahead of their own, and that includes in the bedroom. Being physically intimate with your partner in any way is an experience that connects you on a deeper level. It is one way of expressing your love, or lust for someone, and can be amazing, or not so great. The goal of sex or intimacy is not always just to achieve orgasm, but it is in fact a wonderful physical bonus of what takes place. Not experiencing that physical bonus does not always mean the sex was bad, and most times just means you or your partner have not communicated your sexual wants or needs to each other yet.

Read the rest over at Uptown Magazine: Why Faking Orgasms Ruins Your Life

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