Weird News: Sex-Toy Vending Machine Irks Italian Town

sex toy vending machine

If you're like 1 percent of the general population and seemingly 95 percent of standup comedians, you cannot last more than an hour or so in a metal tube hurtling through the air, highway or train track without self-relieving a VERY specific itch. Well, folks, an Italian train station has you totally covered.

As you may or may not know, Europeans are super into trains. It's like an entire continent of three-year-old boys. It makes sense; their interstates are non-existent, the flights would last nine minutes and their history with dirigibles is decidedly mixed. SOOOO, you'd think a high-traffic area like a train station would be a great place for machine which vends sex toys. According to The Mirror, residents of Casarsa (a place in Italy) are going to need more convincing.

Per the story, users of this particular depot have balked at the inclusion of the vending machine for the same reason various parenting groups in the US protested Gossip Girl … the writing. For reals, the entire kerfuffle can be encapsulated by this quote, "It was a huge black dildo is what it was — and my son is four! What madness seizes people in offices that they allow this?"

I suppose she would have been equally offended if the dildo was of a breathtaking olive shade but who really knows. I think this woman's brain would explode if she found out about the used panty vending machines scattered about Japan. 

The company behind the vending machine has deployed similar machines to other parts of Italy and insists this is their first complaint. One would guess that parents outside of Casarsa are better at shielding their kids' eyes or comparing sex toys to pasta.

How would you react if you say a dildo-selling machine at your local mall?

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