How To Keep Things Sexy During Those Long, Cold Winter Months


Here are 7 ways to heat it up this season.

We’ve all heard the term “summer lovin’,” but what about winter? When the thermostat drops, it can be hard to feel like keeping your romance active. It’s often easier to just stay in and have the same routine each day. But just because it’s chilly outside doesn’t mean you and your sweetheart can’t keep each other warm. There are plenty of ways in which the two of you can maintain the heat, so try one — or all— of these ideas.

1. Share A Bedtime.
When one of you goes to bed a couple hours earlier than the other, you wind up missing a lot of potential bonding time. Being in bed together allows for many romantic activities to occur: sex, kissing, intimate discussions, even just simple cuddling. Obviously, having different schedules can make this difficult, but try to do it as often as possible, even if you have to plan it ahead.

2. Sensual Rubdowns.
Can’t sleep? Try giving one another a massage to relax. Get some massage oil, slip off your daywear and light a few candles (make sure the scent isn’t too strong, though; you don’t want to be overwhelmed before bed). Concentrate on how wonderful it feels to be in such close contact with each other and let your various stresses worries disappear. Afterward, crawl under the covers and keep the heat going.

3. Plan A “Stay-cation.”
Have limited time or a limited budget? Instead of spending money on airfare or gas to some tropical island faraway, take Pure Romance founder Patty Brisben’s advice and rent a lovely room in a nearby hotel. Ask for the Honeymoon Suite and request information on whether or not the establishment has a couple’s package. And most importantly, Brisben says, you both must make each other the top priority by agreeing to “ignore work emails and keep your cell phones tucked away.” Even though you’re not necessarily in the warmest climate, you’ll still get that enthusiastic, vacationing feeling of being somewhere new (and all alone) together.

4. Dress Up.
Even if you’ve been together for years and have seen one another in all kinds of outfits, it’s still exciting to dress up and surprise your partner. Take a little shopping trip on your own and find something that makes you feel extra sexy, whether it’s a black lace teddy or comfortable cotton boyshorts. As for your fella, let him know the kind of clothing, including underwear, that makes you the most turned on. Don’t be negative or tell him what you dislike — just explain what gets your engines revving so he’ll have an idea of what to wear for you on your more romantic evenings. 

5. Explore Your Town Together.

When you try new things as a couple, you bond over those experiences and associate those places with each other from then on. Some weekend evening when the two of you want to go out but don’t want to just find a generic bar, look for some local talent to keep you two entertained together. Dr. Romance writer Tina Tessina, PhD, says couples can find fun in unexpected locations: “Search out the small theaters; college events and speakers, even high school plays and sports. The energy in these less-commercial places will inspire you and give you a lot to talk about. Talking leads to intimacy.”

6. Have Breakfast (Or Late Night Dinner) In Bed.
You don’t even need to leave the house to do something sweet (literally and figuratively) for your partner, and there’s nothing like the feeling of getting to stay in bed just a little bit longer on a cold winter’s morning. Plan one day each week when you’ll make him breakfast and another on which he can cook it for you. Both of you will not only feel well-fed, you’ll also feel cared for. It’s an easy way to start the day with a tasty, kind gesture. If you're on different morning schedules, however, you can always trade off meals and make it a late night snack instead. Either way, the thought is there and so is the food!

7. Listen To One Another.
The holidays have just ended, so we’re all just transporting ourselves back to real life after a crazy, stressful season. Work has started back up in full-force, bills are often higher because of heating costs and commute times due to weather often reduce the time spent at home. All of these conditions can make it difficult focus on things that are easily put on the back burner, like intimacy and conversation. But, as Life Transitions coach Lisa Payne says, “The truth is, the most romantic thing you can do with your partner is to give each other undivided attention.” Keeping your romance alive requires communication, so don’t forget to listen closely and pay attention to your partner.

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