Weird News: Soccer Not Enough Of A Distraction For Outdoor Sex

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Italian appeals court says popular soccer match has no bearing on public indecency.

You know how people in movies put a sexy lady in front of a bunch of bored jailers (or dumb frat jerks) to distract them from a prison break (or panty raid)? In Italy they do it a little differently.

Per MSN, an Italian couple (he was 60 and she was 40, so it couldn't have been Berlusconi as the woman was far too old) decided to let a soccer match distract the rest of their town from their out-of-doors sexual tryst. Obviously, there was at least one honest/buzzkill cop in their southern Italian town.

But that saga did not end in 2006 with their illicit coupling. No sir, like anyone caught absolutely red-handed trying out sex in public, they would not cop to their culpability. While most of us go with the standard, "It wasn't what it looked like" or, "I was giving her CPR and things went crazy" or, "I thought he was suffering from hypothermia... one thing led to another" et cetera, this couple protested that the watchman was watching them at all. By their rationale, they should have been free and clear to literally hump one another as the Italian national team metaphorically humped the Ukrainians up and down the soccer pitch to the tune of a 3-0 victory*.

Evidently, this couple subscribes to the Churchillian policy of never surrendering and fighting this thing in the hills, on the beaches and the highest courts in the land under the treatise that everyone should have been watching the game ergo what they did could not be considered public indecency. While I empathize with their plight, as outdoor sex is almost as thrilling as parents' bed sex, clearly at least one person did see them. The highest appeals court has rejected their plea firmly putting this case to bed: where it originally belonged.

*Note: I reject the notion that a sport can be considered exciting if a 3-0 victory is considered a blowout.

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