Would You Sleep With A Male Prostitute?

first male prostitute compares himself to rosa parks

When we read the news today that Nevada County legalized male prostitution and in response the Shady Lady Ranch brothel hired an earnest young man, we thought: what woman in her right mind would pay for sex? Prostitution: A Recession-Free Gig?

Us ladies will spend an exorbitant amount of money on many, many inane things. While we may balk when milk goes up 45 cents, we'll gladly run up our charge card many times over for a new pair of strappy sandals in the three-figure range, highlights barely noticable to anyone but us and a package of spray tans. But sex? Pay for it? No way. That's a man's bag. Not ours. 

Which would lead to the obvious assumption: clearly these male prostitutes are men who like men who will be funded by said men. Right?

Wrong. The brothel wants straight male prostitutes who are not only interested in screwing women, but wooing them with therapist-like listening skills and a wicked sense of humor. As the owners put it:

We've had quite a few couples who want to add a man to a threesome and ladies who say to us, 'When the hell are we going to get to hire a man?' The minute a guy says I have an 8-inch penis, we tune them out. When they say that, they're thinking just sex, but we're talking about entertaining women. They've got to be able to laugh at a lady's joke.

Enter, "Markus" a sort of bull dog-looking 25-year-old from Alabama who thinks he is just the trail blazer needed to pave the way for an exciting new era of the male hooker (he prefers the term "surrogate lover"). If this sounds at all tongue-in-cheek, let us assure you, it's not. "Markus" sees himself as the sex industry version of Rosa Parks. Prostitution in Primetime

Basically this is the first time in the economy of the United States that a male has actually stood up and said, 'I want to do this for a living.' And be protected under law to do it. It's just the same as when Rosa Parks decided to sit at the front instead of the back. She was proclaiming her rights as a disadvantaged, African-American older woman. And I'm doing the same. I'm actually standing up now, and hopefully I can be supported by the male community and be understood as a person. This actually isn't about selling my body. This is about changing social norms.

Uh huh. Markus is a true civil rights activist, willing to suffer for the greater good of humanity. He's thinking big picture here. As with most things, you have to be careful once you scratch the surface, however. As it turns out, Markus has a few psycho-sexual emotional kinks to work through. Apparently, he's still reeling from his parent's divorce when he was 7. Divorce and Children

There was a deficit there—a sensory deficit—where I was left in a shell. There wasn't anything sexual about it. It was more, like, caresses—maybe a kiss on the cheek or a hug. Psychologists say a child should be hugged at least, you know, two or three times a day for him to be a functional human being. Then, once I reached adulthood, I didn't have any sexual relationships. So naturally, when someone is in the psychological state that I'm in, I don't think of it as a disadvantage. I think it's more of a prerequisite for what I'm fixin' to do. You're striving to make up for lost time, basically.

Yikes. Sounds like a dream lay. C'mon ladies—how many of you want to pay to help Markus make up for lost time? Any takers? Don't be shy...

Sign Up for the YourTango Newsletter

Let's make this a regular thing!