Why You Keep Having Relationship Problems (And How To Solve Them), Based On Your Black Moon Lilith Sign

Lilith is typically connected with intimacy and affects how we feel and respond to others.

couple embracing, black moon lilith symbol and zodiac wheel Mariela Ferbo via Unsplash / Artulina, miadigital, Vital Intent and Craftery Co. via Canva

Dark moon Lilith, also referred to as the 'Dark Moon' or ‘Black Moon Lilith’, represents that which is mysterious and hard to understand in human nature and describes our relationship to sacrifice and betrayal. Your Lilith placement indicates where we may feel frustration, powerlessness and a general inhibition as well as where we question ourselves, our abilities and basic nature. 

While some astrologers today may downplay the influence of Dark moon Lilith, the older texts regard her influence as malevolent. As Lilith is typically connected with intimacy and affects how we feel and respond to others, it can be indicative of recurring relationship problems you may experience, according to TikTok creator and "spiritual mentor" Anastasia Oceano.


“The sign is going to be where the problem is," Oceano says in a TikTok video, "and the house is where it causes the problem.”



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Why you keep having relationship problems (and how to solve them), based on your Lilith sign

Lilith in Aries

If Lilith is in Aries, "you're gonna wanna be the winner of every argument, every relationship, every interaction, you always want to get the last laugh," said Oceano, who continues, "and you might find you're really obsessed with getting people to fall in love with you.” While personal autonomy is a must for Aries, they must remember that a partnership involves two individuals.


Lilith in Taurus

As Oceano explains, Lilith in Taurus may lead to arguments stemming from stubbornness. “You find you might stay in relationships longer than you want to.” Lilith in this sign can result in sexual excesses minus the kinder and gentler side of Taurus. You may associate sex with love and your partner could perceive this as a lack of love and destabilize the relationship and must learn to trust that the right people will have your back just as much as you have theirs.

Lilith in Gemini

Oceano says that those with Lilith in Gemini crave new experiences. Men with this placement can take on the persona of Don Juan, but societal norms have toned this down to some degree in women. The lesson is to use your intelligence and ability to communicate honestly without being calculating and seeking a means to an end through others.

Lilith in Cancer

This placement "can have that matriarchal wicked witch kind of energy where it’s very spiteful and vindictive" when "you're giving energy into things and they're not giving you the energy back,” according to Oceano. There can be sexual inhibitions and you may possess the ability to display a great deal of jealousy. The challenge will be to express your sexuality without feeling vulnerable and afraid.

Lilith in Leo

True to Leo form, Lilith in this sign may give the native the "tendency to put on a show rather than be who you truly are," which can lead to feelings of isolation. The majority of your love may be centered on yourself, and while it is healthy to feel good about yourself, not at the expense of making others close to you feel that you are all important and they are not.


Lilith in Virgo

Lilith in Virgo can lead to "perfectionism, self-criticism, low self-esteem," explains Oceano, all of which can affect relationships. Your search for an ideal love will continually preclude all mortals because no human being is perfect. You must tone down your drive for perfection and realize it's unattainable.

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Lilith in Libra

“In Libra," Oceano says, "you have an imbalance of your divine energies, of your balance of self." You may be tempted to use your attraction and magnetism to manipulate others and you could be uncompromising. You must learn that inner beauty is as important as outer and look for relationships that bring serenity and true happiness as opposed to only on the surface.

Lilith in Scorpio

Ocean says those with Lilith in Scorpio are naturally charming and magnetic. However, leaning too much into these traits can "take a toll on your energy levels." Avoid acting in an extremist fashion and showing great displays of control and jealousy, which would drive many potential partners away which your need for intense experiences can sometimes create. Figuring out what attracts you to the taboo would be helpful along with recognizing there is also light in the world as opposed to darkness.


Lilith in Sagittarius

“In Sagittarius," Oceano explains, Lilith has the tendency to ignore issues in relationships. You could end up being considered a ‘player’ in the area of relationships if you don’t curb your curiosity every time you see an individual you find attractive. Social nonconformity may be something you are attracted to, but if so, make sure there is a good reason before you don’t conform just for the sake of not conforming.

Lilith in Capricorn

This placement may obsess over "finding the perfect person," according to Oceano which "can make a relationship feel quite transactional.” In your search for material success, you may close yourself off to others, making it impossible to be loved. Learn to meet others halfway and don’t be too demanding and cold toward your partners.

Lilith in Aquarius

With Lilith in Aquarius, Oceano says there's a tendency to "alienate yourself and make yourself feel like you're really different from everyone else." In some cases, you may put no limits on your personal freedom, which includes being unfaithful to partners you may have made a commitment to, spoken or unspoken. Reflect on your own freedom while being respectful to your partners.


Lilith in Pisces

Lilith in Pisces has the tendency to idealize their partners. You may adopt many ‘stray dogs,’ and overgive to others. Your need to transcend could make you appear like a black hole to others where enough is never enough. Learn healthy boundaries and that self-pity and martyrdom will not get you where you want to go.

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Leslie Hale is a professional astrologer offering personal astrology readings worldwide by phone, WhatsApp, and Zoom.