If You Notice These 11 Things In A Woman's Kitchen, She's Secretly Miserable At Home
Whether it's money, time, or mental health, these things are signs of a struggle.
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock Our homes and living spaces are often a reflection of our personality and identity, but they can also tell guests a lot about our daily routines, relationships, and even general mental health. Especially in the places where we spend a lot of time, whether that be the living room, bedroom, or even the kitchen, it's impossible to ignore the "red flags" that we're struggling.
Especially for women in unbalanced relationships, where they're handling the majority of household labor and cognitive work for their partners, that can also play a role in exacerbating their mental health concerns and general well-being. From dishes piling up in the sink to neglected plants, if you notice these things in a woman's kitchen, she's secretly miserable at home, and trying to cope by avoiding tasks and seeking comfort in misguided ways.
If you notice these 11 things in a woman's kitchen, she's secretly miserable at home
1. Overflowing dishes in the sink
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"Task paralysis" — the inability to complete or focus on completing everyday tasks like chores — is commonly a symptom of ADHD; however, it can erupt in anyone who's experiencing some kind of emotional turmoil. When your brain is already overworked dealing with hyperactivity, anxiety, or chronic stress, the things, like doing the dishes or putting away laundry, that are easy for others become impossible for you.
So, if you notice these kinds of things in a woman's kitchen, she may be secretly miserable at home. Or, at the very least, she's trying to figure out how to navigate a busy schedule filled with work, responsibilities, and task management, but hasn't gotten around to finding a place for everything just yet.
2. Remnants of take-out orders
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According to a study from BMC Psychiatry, people who consume more junk food and fast food options are more at risk for developing psychological concerns like depression and chronic stress. Not only are they often missing out on the kind of nutrients that promote brain health and internal emotional regulation, but they're also forgoing the activity and intentionality of making food for themselves at home.
In some cases, the financial strain that also follows from overconsuming fast food — especially today, when prices are rising drastically — can contribute to women's feelings of misery in their daily lives. So, if you notice these remnants of take-out orders or fast food in a woman's kitchen, she's probably secretly miserable at home, stuck in a cycle of malnourishment, dysregulation, and unhappiness.
3. No fresh ingredients
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By consuming a certain amount of fresh vegetables, fruits, and other foods, the average person can protect themselves against mental health concerns like depression, according to a study from the journal Nutrients. With a high content of vitamins and minerals that are essential to our brain and body's main processes, having access to fresh ingredients and foods plays a huge role in our well-being.
So, if you notice that a woman doesn't have any kind of fresh produce or food in her kitchen, chances are she's miserable at home. Either she's struggling with financial instability that prevents her from being able to buy them, relies on convenience because she doesn't have enough time, or she prefers to self-soothe with comfort foods like take-out.
4. Dirty dish towels
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When a woman is emotionally checked out, it's often the little things that are overlooked and disregarded first, whether that's chores in her home or being intentional about keeping up with personal hygiene.
Even in the kitchen, replacing a dirty dish rag or closing cupboards after using them suddenly feels impossible amid emotional turmoil and stress. She's miserable, so of course, taking care of seemingly mundane and superficial things is the last of her concerns.
5. No personality
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Our homes are often a reflection of our personal identities, hobbies, and interests, so when someone doesn't have any kind of personal flair in their living spaces, it's obvious. Even if it seems subtle — like having no artwork, family photos, or cohesion in their kitchen — it could be a sign that a woman is secretly struggling.
Whether it's a money issue — they can't afford to buy things that resonate with them or craft their home in alignment with a specific vision — or a more personal struggle of time, energy, and motivation, a lack of personality can tell you a lot about a person's internal well-being.
A study from Frontiers in Psychology found that negative self-concept and identity are markers for depression, so it's also possible that a woman is experiencing misery in her life because she doesn't have an idea of who she is internally, which is then reflected in her kitchen or home decor.
6. Neglected plants
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Neglected plants can be a sign of someone with a busy schedule, but they also often are associated with someone who struggles with motivation, intentionality, and dysregulation at home. Their internal neglect — like forgetting to indulge healthy habits and self-soothing in unproductive ways — is reflected in the neglect they offer to other areas of their homes, whether it's a living thing like a plant or more mundane tasks like doing the dishes.
Especially considering plants boost air quality and cleanliness in our homes, while also protecting and safeguarding our mental health and calmness, it's unfortunate that they're not more coveted as a tool for helping women struggling with their internal well-being to get out of their funk.
7. Hidden comfort foods
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When women feel the need to be secretive and stingy about their comfort foods at home, chances are they're using them in an entirely unhealthy way. While traditional comfort foods like sweet treats and calorie-dense snacks can actually be effective in reducing stress, according to a study from the journal Appetite, more nutritious options like fruits and vegetables are also equally effective.
So, even if you're using food as a coping mechanism for stress and mental health while you're seeking help and cementing better habits into your routine, it's possible to feel comforted, even while taking care of yourself with more nutritious options.
And if you notice hidden comfort foods and a lack of healthy options in a woman's kitchen, she's secretly miserable at home, but also keeping herself cemented in her cycle of struggle — whether she realizes it or not.
8. Unopened vitamins
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Whether it's pressure from family and friends or social norms reflected through social media and the internet, women and girls are far more likely to be pressured into diets and "watching their weight," according to a study from the Journal of Psychosomatic Research. That's why things like unopened vitamins, half-finished meal plans, and dusty protein powders in the back of the cupboard are most common for women who are secretly miserable.
They may have a desire to get better, but in alignment with societal expectations and consumerism online, the avenues they take to pursue health and wellness are misguided and further isolating.
9. An overused coffee corner
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While some research suggests that drinking coffee is linked to better aging outcomes for women, like better heart health, when consumed in moderation, drinking it too much or too often during the day can have alternative effects.
Of course, there are many negative impacts for women who drink too much coffee, overwork themselves, and consistently get less than six hours of sleep every day. According to a study from the Journal of Personalized Medicine, women who consume more than the average amount of caffeine and lack quality sleep deal with more physical and mental health burdens.
So, their kitchen coffee corner could very well be a sign of their misery at home, where they're just trying to self-medicate to get through the day with a glimpse of energy.
10. Half-finished projects
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Whether it's a kitchen appliance that's not completely set up or a household repair left untouched, if you notice these things in a woman's kitchen, she's secretly miserable at home. Not only does the energy of neglect likely affect their mood the second they get home, but these things can also be a sign that a woman is struggling with things like time, money, and energy amid their daily lives.
While research argues that people who have more leisure time often have greater mental health problems when they're not leveraging this space for healthy habits and activities, the same can be said about people overworking themselves and struggling with time management.
11. Piles of packages and mail
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While things like retail therapy, which could result in piled-up cardboard boxes and packages in the kitchen, can help to boost mood in certain cases, the financial strain and guilt it often provokes are much less productive for dealing with deeper mental health concerns.
Even piles of unopened mail could be a sign that a woman is struggling with time or executive dysfunction at home, which is why it's a "red flag" if you see both of these things in a corner of a woman's kitchen.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
