If Someone Is Actually A Loser, They'll Say These 11 Phrases Casually
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock While many corners of the internet and misguided ideologies have tainted what being a "loser" really means, the root cause and defining characteristic is a lack of accountability. Someone who expects everyone else to fix their problems, complains about their lack of success with no effort, and acts entitled to everything in their relationships is, by our definition, a "loser."
Of course, there may be more nuanced pictures of a person's inability to take responsibility for their own lives that are out of their hands, but at the end of the day, we all have control over our own lives. In casual conversations, a person's lack of ambition or accountability may be subtle, but if someone is actually a loser, they'll say these phrases casually.
If someone is actually a loser, they'll say these 11 phrases casually
1. 'I just have horrible luck'
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If someone is actually a loser, they'll often say phrases like "I just have horrible luck" casually to distract people from their own lack of effort or ambition.
While on the other side of things, someone who adopts a "lucky" mindset and manifests abundance may be more likely to imagine their own success into reality, at least according to a study out of the University of Queensland. If someone lives under the narrative that they "have horrible luck," chances are they can "manifest" that too.
A self-proclaimed "lucky" person takes accountability and accepts responsibility for control, while a chronically "unlucky" person leans into the comfort of blame-shifting to everyone and everything else.
2. 'I'll start on Monday'
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A loser who lacks the accountability to change their own routine will always use phrases like "I'll do it tomorrow" or "I'll start on Monday," often without ever making a change.
Of course, they're quick to brag about how they're going to change or talk about their goals for attention before achieving them — a subtle way to sabotage their own progress — but they hardly ever actually follow through.
They want all the attention of being the most creative, healthy, smart, or ambitious person, without ever doing the work of following through or doing the hard work.
3. 'Everyone's always teaming up against me'
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If a friend calls them out for being hurtful or a family member forces them to solve their own problems, suddenly, for a "loser," everyone's out to get them. They're being treated "unfairly" or being "attacked" when, in reality, they're just being told to do what everyone else already does on their own accord: take accountability for their own life and actions.
If someone isn't dropping everything to help them or fixing their problems without a second thought, these entitled people believe it's "unfair."
According to a study from Personality and Individual Differences, these kinds of entitled people also often respond more angrily to "bad luck" and inconveniences than most. So, essentially, unless everything goes their way all the time and people are constantly putting their needs aside to make their life comfortable, the world is "unfair."
4. 'It's not my fault'
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People who take accountability and personal responsibility for the goals they've set in life often boast higher life satisfaction, according to a study from the Journal of Research in Personality. So, it's no surprise that losers who evade it constantly and blame-shift to everyone else are chronically miserable.
They want people to put great opportunities right into their laps. They want the world to embrace them with ease and make their lives comfortable. They want to be envied and successful without putting in any work themselves.
Even on a small scale, in personal interactions and conversations, a person's reliance on phrases like "it's not my fault" isolates them from meaningful relationships and the joy that comes from them.
5. 'I try so hard, but nobody ever notices'
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Many people characterized as "losers" do everything for attention. Whether it's paying attention to someone in conversations, waiting for their chance to speak, posting on social media, or putting in a fraction of effort at work for praise from their boss, their entire lives revolve around acceptance and external validation.
Of course, people grappling with unresolved childhood trauma and self-esteem issues aren't "losers" simply because they appreciate external validation, but those who frame their lives around it for the sake of ego or superiority may likely be. They expect to be celebrated and acknowledged for every little thing they do, even if everyone in their life around them is doing these things every single day without being recognized for them.
6. 'Everyone's just jealous'
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To distract themselves from relationships that need mending, emotional self-esteem issues that need acknowledgment, and accountability they need to take to live a better life, someone who's actually a loser will rely on phrases like "everyone's just jealous" for comfort.
They hurt people without taking accountability, then call them "jealous" when they call them out. They speak condescendingly to people, then wonder why they're distant. They even find ways to shift the narrative of stories to make themselves feel like the victim, even when they were the person at fault.
7. 'It doesn't matter'
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Truly good friends and loved ones care about the things that matter to their social circles. They put effort into understanding, make time to indulge in hobbies with friends, and feed into conversations with a loved one who's passionately sharing, even if they don't find it particularly interesting.
They have the emotional intelligence and empathy skills to make people feel special and heard, even if it means putting their own desires on the back burner for a moment. However, if someone is actually a loser, chances are they're too caught up in their own entitlement and "main character" syndrome to care.
8. 'That's just the way the world works'
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From maintaining healthy relationships to protecting personal health and even succeeding in the workplace, taking personal accountability truly is influential in every aspect of life. Without the ability to own up to mistakes and apologize when we hurt others, we isolate ourselves into a false sense of reality where we simply "can't" do anything wrong.
However, if someone is actually a loser, they'll often say phrases like "that's just the way the world works" casually — trying to protect their insecurity and need for accountability by chalking it up to social expectations and pressure.
9. 'If it weren't for them, I'd be happy'
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According to a study from Personality and Individual Differences, many people who chronically blame-shift in the face of disappointment, mistakes, and hurt are projecting their own fears onto others. They'd prefer to make someone else feel insecure and doubtful, rather than own up to where they have space to grow.
"If it weren't for them, I'd be happy" or "if this didn't happen to me, I'd be successful" are just a few examples of the phrases a loser always has in their back pocket.
10. 'I'll do it another time'
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A study from JAMA Network Open found that people prone to procrastination habits are often more likely to develop mental health concerns and lower levels of happiness. They push things off, evade accountability, and find ways to make excuses in every aspect of their lives — from work to personal relationships — and keep themselves stuck in a cycle of insecurity and anxiety.
"I'll do it another time" is just one example of this tendency — one that keeps losers stuck in patterns of low effort, isolation, and disappointment.
11. 'I don't owe anyone anything'
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Especially in our convenience-centered, selfish society, it's not uncommon for people to latch onto a sentiment rooted in entitlement, fueled by phrases like "I don't owe anyone anything" that protect them from getting uncomfortable with accountability.
They misconstrue entitlement with empowerment, pushing people away because they're too insecure to take accountability when they hurt others. They'd prefer to pretend like they're doing nothing wrong by acting selfishly, even if it clearly sparks resentment and isolates them from meaningful relationships and friendships.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
