8 Frustrating Habits Of People Who Feel Entitled To Your Time & Energy
Protect your peace by keeping these people at arm's length.
Josep Suria | Shutterstock Because numerous research studies have shown that friendship keep us healthy, it goes without saying that the people you choose to surround yourself with ultimately influence your entire being, for better or worse. While happy, joyful, and encouraging people can help to build up your self-worth and "fill your cup," envious, entitled, energy vampires can seriously harm you.
Sometimes, these energy-suckers are living in plain sight, and while their behavior may be innocuous at first, there are certain frustrating habits of people who feel entitled to your time and energy. They slowly chip away at your confidence, self-worth, and well-being, so it's essential to be wary of who you allow into your inner circle.
Here are 8 frustrating habits of people who feel entitled to your time and energy
1. They feel that you always owe them an answer and explanation
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People who are constantly asking questions and prodding into your life, no matter what the conversation is about, can be toxic to your energy. They feel like you owe them simply for being a friend or family member, even though you have no obligation to do so.
Oftentimes, these people don't realize they're draining your energy or taking up your time, but still feel it's their right to know information about your life, even if it's something you might have otherwise kept private. Whether it's a friend, parent, or sibling, setting boundaries with these people can be important for your sanity.
According to author, lawyer, and relationship expert Susan J. Elliott, "Boundaries are not about being nasty, mean or rude. Boundaries simply recognize that you end in one place and end somewhere else. All good boundaries do that... It's not a matter of not being a nice person anymore. It's just a matter of getting 'tough enough' so that people aren't walking on you"
2. They set unrealistically high expectations
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In an effort to keep your energy low and take any attention away from you, one of the very frustrating habits of people who feel entitled to your time and energy is setting unrealistic expectations for you, knowing that you'll never be able to achieve them. They do this purposely, as it allows them to get what they want while making you feel less than despite your best efforts.
Entitled people find themselves grasping for others' attention. By making the goals of people around them unachievable, they are more likely to receive praise for reaching their own goals. Remember that you own and are responsible for your own goals and expectations. Don't let others' negative thoughts shift your ambitions.
3. They manipulate or punish you when they don't get what they want
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People with entitled mindsets feel they deserve special attention or treatment from the people around them. When they don't receive that attention, they tend to lash out. If you're busy, focusing on yourself, or need to protect your alone time (for whatever reason), you might find that entitled people in your life are punishing you for not giving them attention, which can include the silent treatment, an unexpected attitude, or deliberate acts of selfishness.
As mental health and wellness consultant Jamie Cannon warned, "Manipulators who crave power and advantage over others will often resort to scheming to attain what they want. They use emotions to domineer others and for attention-seeking purposes, particularly when they feel situations are outside of their sphere of influence... These are the situations that create unhealthy and dangerous interpersonal environments."
4. They make you feel anxious
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Sometimes, our body unconsciously gives us signals when we're in discomfort or unsafe situations. With anxiety, those signs can include rising heart rate, headaches, muscle tension, and fatigue. But when your body is warning you, it's why everyone always suggests that you "trust your gut." Your instincts alone can tell you a lot about someone, so don't shrug these feelings off immediately if they arise.
Some suggest that when you're inherently anxious around someone, it's because you feel a sense of inferiority to them. If this is someone close to you, who you'd expect to be a partner or a friend, this inferiority complex is being upheld by their actions. While it might not be the case 100% of the time, make sure you're conscious of your "gut feelings" when your body tells you to be wary around someone.
5. They expect support from you but never give it in return
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These are the classic energy vampires, or people who always have something going wrong in their life and always need support, but are hesitant or resistant to give you any type of help. These people talk about their problems and victimize their situations, but make it difficult for you to vent to them. Their need for support without ever giving anything in return is yet another of the frustrating habits of people who feel entitled to your time and energy.
"While sharing traumatic experiences can be helpful, if you trauma dump incessantly to garner attention or sympathy... people may become immune to it... Doing so can push people away and encourage them to distance themselves," advised psychotherapist Gina Moffa and licensed mental health counselor Brittany Becker. By trauma dumping and over-sharing, they leave no room for anyone else to find guidance or a listening ear.
6. They blame you during conflict
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Someone who feels entitled to you will shift blame during a disagreement or argument because they are unable to accept when they're wrong. According to licensed psychologist Guy Winch, PhD, to save their ego and their energy, these people feel entitled to "be right," no matter what that means for the people around them. These people will often go to great lengths to make others feel insecure, incorrect, or invalidated.
If you're constantly wondering why you're always in the wrong or under fire from one particular person, chances are they're deflecting their own insecurities onto you. These people who feel entitled to your time and energy are quick to spark conflicts or entice you to argue, even over the smallest things. Being the bigger person by not giving in to petty arguments can help you to protect your peace and privacy.
7. They repeatedly ignore your boundaries
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Boundaries are a healthy way to protect your peace, especially in the face of toxic family members, friends, or anyone else who plays a role in your life. However, setting boundaries doesn't immediately mean that people will respect them. Oftentimes, frustration and anger in a relationship can be a result of someone not respecting boundaries, and is one of the frustrating habits of people who feel entitled to your time and energy.
Entitled people are quick to overstep boundaries and only look out for themselves. Other people's boundaries are often secondary to getting what they desire. But if people aren't respecting your boundaries, are taking away your precious energy and time, or aren't respecting you as a person, it's time to step away and remove them from your life.
8. They seek attention and try to overshadow you in group settings
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People who feel entitled to attention are always looking to overshadow you, especially around other people. And because they so badly need this special attention, they also don't respect any relationships that get in the way of that. By trying to overshadow you, they take the spotlight off of you and move it onto themselves.
"Feeling inferior can drive individuals toward one-upmanship as a coping mechanism. They seek validation and assert superiority over others to compensate for their perceived deficiencies and alleviate feelings of inadequacy," revealed psychologist Mark Travers, PhD. "Within relationships, compensation may manifest as habitual attempts to outshine partners or peers, whether through boasting, belittling, or constant validation-seeking."
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
