10 Phrases People Use When They Think Every Situation Revolves Around Them
Self-centered people are always more worried about their own problems than helping others.
Asier Romero | Shutterstock Self-centeredness is generally characterized by an inability to look outside of the self, according to psychiatrist Kathleen Daly — lacking empathy, prioritizing personal needs, and subtly manipulating people into getting what they want. However, there are also subtle behaviors and language, like many of the phrases people use when they think every situation revolves around them, that can clue you in on a person's self-centered nature.
By recognizing these patterns of behavior, you not only protect yourself from having your boundaries disrespected and your needs overlooked, you can also pave a better path forward. Are you willing to work through unraveling someone’s ego-centric mindset, or would you rather invest in new relationships founded on trust, gratitude, and empathy?
Here are 10 phrases people use when they think every situation revolves around them
1. 'What am I supposed to do now?'
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When a self-centered person struggles, everyone is going to know. Whether it's something entirely in their control or a side effect of another person's struggle, they're going to find a way to seek pity and make it about themselves.
A phrase like "What am I supposed to do now?" is a perfect representation of this self-centeredness. They expect everyone to drop everything they're doing to help them problem-solve and combat discomfort.
Many of these kinds of people struggle from exclusion, isolation, and loneliness, causing them to attention-seek, even in the most uncomfortable and unsuspecting ways. It's part of the reason why they may also turn to social media to cope with this discomfort, according to a 2024 study; they're not trying to bolster their own image, but deal with the internal turmoil and disconnect they're experiencing.
2. 'You're doing this to hurt me'
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It's possible for people to unintentionally harm or hurt other people in their lives, even when they're simply living their lives. Whether it's taking a new job, ending a relationship, or setting a boundary, sometimes things that are incredibly necessary for one person to do can end up hurting a friend, family member, or peer.
That's life, which is why phrases like "you're just doing this to hurt me" are not only self-centered, but ignorant. It's impossible to never hurt anyone, especially when you're prioritizing your own needs and experimenting with life. However, self-centered people, who think the world and every situation revolves around them, struggle to believe that not everything is about them, especially when they get hurt and seek pity.
3. 'I knew this would happen to me'
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Many of the phrases people use when they think every situation revolves around them take away attention, grace, and energy from the people that really need it. For example, when a friend cancels plans for a family emergency, a self-centered person will use a phrase like "I knew this would happen to me," rather than giving grace to their friend or recognizing their hurt.
Psychologist Irene S. Levine, PhD argues that these kinds of people tend to struggle looking outside of themselves and their own needs. At the beginning of a relationship, it may be easier to give this person grace or be more forgiving, but as time goes on, it can take a mental toll and truly strain a connection when empathy feels like a one-way street.
4. 'Why didn't you tell me?'
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Hyper-focused on their own experiences, needs, and emotions, self-centered people's language tends to always revolve around themselves. "Why'd you keep this from me?" or "Why didn't you tell me?" — these phrases people use when they think every situation revolves around them, as they all focus on the "me" in the situation, rather than trying to empathize with others.
While there are a number of reasons why these kinds of people may lack empathy, according to psychologist Sara Konrath, from childhood trauma, to unmet needs from parents, and even toxic relationships later in life, many self-centered people are driven by their own insecurities.
They fear rejection, abandonment, and embarrassment, so they're always overthinking other people's language and actions in the frame of their own worries, rather than from an empathetic mindset that acknowledges their personal struggles and experiences.
5. 'That reminds me of a time when I...'
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If they're not playing the victim to seek pity or gaslighting others into giving them what they want, self-centered people are trying to cope with their feelings of insecurity and exclusion by attention-seeking. Phrases like "that reminds me of a time when" or "I actually did something similar" are avenues for them to flip the script of a conversation to focus on themselves.
While these "one-upping" behaviors can be incredibly frustrating for peers in a social interaction, they're obvious signs of a person who truly believes every situation revolves around them. They're not only poor listeners, they're always waiting for their turn to speak and round up everyone's attention.
6. 'Thanks for the invite'
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When used in a sarcastic way to communicate disappointment for being left out from an event or social gathering, a self-centered person will use a phrase like "Thanks for the invite" or "Why didn't you invite me?" to make people feel guilty for not always including them.
Especially later in life, when we're all adults, nobody is entitled to your time, energy, and space, no matter how uncomfortable it is to recognize that fact. But self-centered people still try to weaponize guilt to make people feel that way.
They believe the world revolves around them, including parties they're not invited to and social gatherings that aren't intended for them, even at the expense of healthy relationships and connections with others.
7. 'Clearly, I'm not that important to you'
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According to psychologist Pamela B. Rutledge, many self-centered people will resort to "sadfishing" on social media or fishing for pity in conversations to seek attention, but it's not always inherently malicious or even poorly used. Some people generally find it easier to seek support online or to express their discomfort in casual conversations, but most of the time, it's an attempt to seek pity and attention.
Phrases like "Clearly, I'm not that important to you" are often used by people who can't empathize with other people's needs, experiences, or choices. They're so hyper-focused on their own hurt and experience that they view every person's actions as a direct attack on themselves.
8. 'Are you mad at me?'
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While they may not be empathetic to other people's struggles and situations, self-centered people who're often overly anxious are hypervigilant about shifting in energy in their interactions. They'll not only make other people's bad moods about themselves, they'll call out people who aren't fitting their expectations, using phrases like "Are you mad at me?" to make it about themselves.
In many cases, this is a clear sign of someone with an anxious attachment. They're always coping with a fear of rejection or abandonment. However, it's common for self-centered people to have these fears, as well, coping with internal insecurity and lacking self-worth that drives their attention-seeking behaviors.
9. 'Wow, I didn't expect this from you'
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Rather than having open and honest conversations and leading with empathy, self-centered people use phrases like this one to indirectly seek comfort and attention. They'd prefer to guilt-trip people rather than lean into discomfort and vulnerability to actually express their needs.
At the root of their discomfort is the truth: they care more about themselves than anyone else, even when their closest friends and peers need their help. And they will do anything to flip the script to have things go their way.
10. 'Everyone's always out to get me'
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When someone is constantly interpreting other people's moods, decisions, and actions as a direct attack on themselves, of course they're going to believe everyone is always "out to get them." However, it's obviously possible to hurt someone's feelings or make a self-centered person feel less important by focusing on yourself, rather than always being 100% available to help others.
The phrases people use when they think every situation revolves around them often represent the anxiety and insecurity a self-centered person with narcissistic tendencies grapples with. They're always thinking about how they can frame themselves in a more favorable light.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
