Women Who Need Lots Of Alone Time As They Get Older Usually Have These 11 Reasons
They're no longer seeking validation from anyone but themselves.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock While it's true that many people naturally gravitate toward smaller social groups and more intentional quality relationships with age, the preference for solitude can sometimes be controversial — at least in the framework of mental health. According to a study from the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, many people experience higher rates of social isolation with age, and when it's not by choice or alongside a series of unhealthy habits, it often leads to loneliness.
However, there are many women who need lots of alone time as they get older, for just the opposite — to support their mental health, healthy habits, and the quality of their personal relationships. From growing into their self-worth and prioritizing authentic hobbies to appreciating the introspective nature of solitude, these women care more about putting themselves first than appeasing social norms that push them into extroverted, yet draining, routines.
Women who need lots of alone time as they get older usually have these 11 reasons
1. They truthfully enjoy their own company
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According to a study from the International Journal of Behavioral Development, many women tend to grow more self-assured and confident with age compared to their younger counterparts. They're no longer adopting habits, following trends, or trying to "fit in" for the sake of appealing to people they don't even know, but rather crafting routines that provide space for them to seek out and solidify their authenticity.
They truthfully enjoy their own company, which is why they need and crave lots of alone time as they get older. Whether it's quiet time to reflect, space for creative hobbies and endeavors, or emotional regulation, the activities that fill their solitude are a reflection of their own internal comfort and security.
2. They're drained by too much social interaction
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Women who need lots of alone time as they get older generally appreciate depth over superficiality in their relationships, which is why they prefer to stay home over going out to crowded parties and events where small talk is the standard.
While the truth is that a certain level of socializing is draining for everyone — extrovert or not — according to a study from the Journal of Personality, for introverted people, it's a consistent trend. Whether it's a demanding social job or an overscheduled weekend, these women may simply be tired of entertaining draining interactions 24/7 in their lives.
3. They're tired of explaining themselves
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While the fear of not being understood or taken seriously is often the root cause of over-explaining behaviors in people with childhood trauma, according to psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis, this is also often common in women taught to seek acceptance and validation from others.
From a young age, women are introduced into our society with the misguided patriarchal beliefs that consistently make them feel "less than," so it's no surprise that behaviors like this one falter when they're replaced with empowerment and self-assuredness.
Whether justifying their decisions, explaining their lifestyle, or over-apologizing to protect the peace, women who need lots of alone time as they get older are just not doing these things anymore — they're appreciating their own company.
4. They have personal hobbies
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According to a study from Nature Medicine, having a hobby is associated with happiness and longevity, especially later in life. Not only are these habits often creative outlets, they're tied to authenticity, solitude, reflection, and activity.
Many women who crave silence and solitude later in life have hobbies to fill their time. They're always looking forward to appreciating their own company with a hobby at home, rather than entertaining someone with small talk and annoyance.
5. They have strong boundaries
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When women are tired of people overstepping their boundaries or overlooking their needs, they may simply stay home — relying on their already close-knit families, relationships, and social circles for interaction when they want it. Many women who need lots of alone time as they get older may also be less tolerant of toxic or rude behavior.
They've grown into their emotionally intelligent and self-assured identities, so they refuse to tolerate any kind of behavior that places them a step back, whether it's attention-seeking or overstepping boundaries.
6. They no longer need praise or external validation
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Many women are taught to seek praise and acceptance, largely from men, from a young age. Not only does this sabotage their sense of self-worth, self-assuredness, and relationships, but it also sets them up to indulge in toxic behaviors like people-pleasing.
However, women who need lots of time alone — appreciating their own company — are generally more self-assured and confident with age than their younger counterparts. They're internally gratified by healthy routines, habits, hobbies, and relationships, no longer interested in making themselves smaller for the comfort of men around them.
7. They need space to reflect and regulate
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The benefits of solitude and the experiences of spending time alone tend to look wildly different between age demographics, according to a study from Frontiers in Psychology, with aging women appreciating the peacefulness and reflection of this time the most.
They're the most attuned to their own emotions and needs with age, especially alongside a growth in self-esteem, which is why alone time is a moment for them to self-reflect and regulate their emotions, not spiral and grow anxious. They don't derive their sense of comfort, peace, or control from being around other people, but rather from looking inward and growing a stronger relationship with themselves.
8. They have bustling social lives
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While many women with a proclivity for solitude tend to keep their social circles small and deep, there are a number of others who appreciate their alone time because their schedules are packed full.
Whether it's a demanding social job, a ton of friends to catch up with, or an overscheduled social calendar, some women simply need lots of alone time as they get older to compensate for maintaining their social circles. Even if they're incredibly extroverted and social, when it comes to their free time, they don't mess around.
9. They've embraced a slower pace of life
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In contrast to a bustling social calendar, some women who need lots of alone time as they get older may have simply adopted a slower pace of life. Whether it's leaning into slower, more time-consuming hobbies, like reading a novel, or appreciating their own company without the demands of society or other people present, a slower pace of life can be both a gift and a curse for aging individuals.
While for some this shift is literally physical — they have less energy and move slowly with age — for most women it's a metaphorical one. They appreciate not having to appease other people constantly by proving their worth, but instead lean on their solid identity to appreciate the more thoughtful time they have now.
10. They're rebuilding
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Grief and loss are often inherently associated with a period of bereavement and readjustment, especially for adults later in life. So, if an aging woman experiences a loss, a divorce, or a major life change, it's not surprising that she'll need lots of alone time, support, and reintegration to cope and heal.
Of course, they likely have more life experience and wisdom at their age to handle the complexities of these feelings, but also more grief, change, and loss to cope with when big changes hit their routines and relationships intensely.
11. They refuse to settle
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Women who need and enjoy a lot of alone time in their everyday lives may simply be happy with themselves and protective of their quality time at home. They no longer need to go out for validation, but say "yes" to social plans when it makes sense — to connect with their deep relationships, friendships, or to do things they enjoy.
Settling for small talk at crowded parties and events or indulging in superficial conversations is no longer the norm, because they have depth at home.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
