11 Phrases Good Employees Absolutely Hate Hearing From A Boss
They thrive when they're allowed to be innovative, creative, and collaborative.
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock Even if traditional expectations and standards contribute job performance and success to work ethic, personality tends to play a bigger role in crafting "good" employees with healthy habits. According to a study from Frontiers in Psychology, openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, and extraversion are all personality traits that play into a person's success in the workplace.
Depending on the industry and job, things like reliability, resourcefulness, and communication skills are all sought after in employees, but sometimes, there's a disconnect between these high-achievers and their leadership teams. Many of the phrases good employees absolutely hate hearing from a boss take away from their positive routines and personality traits, urging them into more restrictive, rigid, and mindless habits.
Here are 11 phrases good employees absolutely hate hearing from a boss
1. 'We've always done it this way'
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A great deal of research suggests that the majority of innovative ideas come from employees in a workplace setting, which is why it's important to let good employees lean on their unique habits and mentality to brainstorm and be creative. That's why phrases like "we've always done it this way" or "that's not how it works here" are often stifling for good employees, and are things they absolutely hate hearing from a boss.
Leadership and innovation in the workplace are all dependent on creative minds, according to a study from The McKinsey Quarterly, and when bosses encourage good employees to stay devoted to inefficient processes and routines without question, it can hinder their ability to think openly and outside of the box.
2. 'Why are you asking so many questions?'
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Even if it creates more work and demands more time in the workplace, especially for bosses, asking questions provides a number of benefits to both employees and their leadership teams. According to a 2021 study, asking questions at work not only opens up lines of communication, it also promotes deep thinking, learning, motivation, innovation, and openness.
So, it's no surprise that phrases like "Why are you asking so many questions?" are one of the things good employees absolutely hate hearing from a boss. They don't care to blindly accept things as they are without question, but they also feel more isolated from creativity and their peers when their openness and critical thinking is demonized.
3. 'Don't take it personally'
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Many leadership professionals who have better emotional intelligence — things like self-awareness and emotional regulation — also tend to be more successful at work, but simply having emotional competence can also ensure that employees enjoy and succeed in their work.
Sometimes, the emotional and personal aspects of a good employee's routine and habits are what allow them to be so productive or intuitive, so hearing something like "don't take it personally" invalidates not just their workplace needs, but their personal identity.
Of course, phrases like this and a general "workhorse" mentality on the clock can also dehumanize employees and encourage them to suppress and dismiss their own needs. Before workers are employees, they're people — humans with needs — and completely removing the personal and emotional aspects of a workplace isn't doing anyone any favors.
4. 'I don't have time to explain'
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Despite a lot of discourse around bad managers and bosses being centered on micromanaging — checking in and "communicating" too often with employees — a study from Stanford Business argues that most employees believe their bosses aren't communicating enough.
"Less isn't more" — that's what most workers believe, especially when it comes to asking questions, communicating with bosses, and having regular check-ins.
When a boss consistently says "I don't have time to explain" or "we'll talk about it another time," their employees aren't only missing out on educational and growth opportunities, they're growing disconnected and disengaged from the workplace and their peers.
5. 'You're not here to make friends'
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When work relationships are positive, trusting, and collaborative, like a study from Health Psychology and Behavioral Medicine argues, everyone's general well-being, productivity, and mental health boosts when they're at work. Great bosses encourage this kind of collaboration — not only for the productivity and efficiency benefits, but because they recognize the humanity of their teams.
They know that at the end of the day, their employees and workers are people who deserve to be treated with respect, offered breaks and rest, and have the opportunity to bond and connect with the people around them.
6. 'I don't pay you to think'
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According to a study from BMC Health Services Research, a "bottom-up" approach to new ideas and innovation at work — essentially, employees practicing innovation, coming up with new ideas, and crafting unique guidelines for their work, rather than having them enforced and crafted by a boss — has a number of benefits.
From enhancing adaptability, to improving employee empowerment and motivation, to crafting a better workplace culture, these approaches inspire — unless there's no external support from leadership or bosses to do it successfully.
When bosses use phrases like "I don't pay you to think" or "just do it this way," they're not cultivating a workplace with the bottom-up approach in mind, but rather leaning on rigidity to make their own job easier. Following expectations and strict guidelines may be necessary for some industries, but in others, it's a symptom of a boss that's too reliant on tradition, certainty, and ego.
7. 'That's not my problem'
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Phrases like "that's not my problem" or "just figure it out" are not only some of the things good employees absolutely hate hearing from a boss, they're a sign of lacking accountability, responsibility, and leadership.
Great bosses put a lot of time and effort into supporting their employees, hearing out their concerns, and delegating tasks — even if they're not explicitly written down in their job description. They'll never turn away a struggling employee or reduce a conversation down to a superficial level to protect their own time and efficiency, because at the end of the day, it's the connection between them and their employees that predicts success.
8. 'We're a family here'
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While it's important for bosses to remember that their employees are human and to encourage them to lean into the personal and intuitive aspects of their professions, cultivating an overly personal or "familial" culture at work isn't doing anyone favors. Maybe, leadership teams and bosses can benefit from pushing their employees to sacrifice work-life balance or personal well-being for the sake of "the family," but everyone else only deals with disconnection and guilt.
A family workplace dynamic has a number of issues, but it mostly sets unrealistic expectations for employees — encouraging them to help other peers, take on more work, and stay for longer hours for the sake of "family," even if they have their own at home.
That's why "we're a family here" is one of the phrases good employees absolutely hate hearing from a boss, because they understand it's almost always more manipulative than it is thoughtful and kindhearted.
9. 'I was just joking'
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According to a study from Frontiers in Psychology, gaslighting and emotional manipulation isn't just a behavior that's common in romantic relationships — it also seeps into the workplace and has the power to sabotage professional relationships, as well.
Phrases like "I'm just joking" or "you're too sensitive" are commonly associated with gaslighters in the workplace and are simultaneously some of the phrases good employees absolutely hate hearing from a boss. Whether it's in response to expressing a concern, talking about personal struggles, or even making inappropriate comments, gaslighting behaviors like these phrases can send employees over the edge.
10. 'If you don't like it, you can leave'
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Rather than accepting constructive criticism, innovative ideas, and solutions for employee burnout and struggle, bad bosses use phrases like this to protect their own laziness or time. Rather than meet their employees where they are and create solutions for making work a more secure place for them to spend their time, they avoid taking accountability and responsibility for the poor work culture they've cultivated.
Even though it may seem subtle, felt accountability on its own — personal responsibility for behavior and actions — can improve innovation and productivity at work. However, when a boss is consistently undermining accountability for comfort or encouraging their employees to conform to rigid standards, everyone grapples with the consequences of their lacking engagement.
11. 'You should feel lucky to have this job'
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Rather than giving employees a comfortable and empowering space to learn, grow, and innovate in the workplace, bad bosses weaponize job security and stability to ensure their employees meet quotas and make money. They're less worried about making employees comfortable and more interested in making them afraid — holding their income and job security over their heads to get what they want.
That's why a phrase like "you should feel lucky to have this job" is one of the things good employees — who thrive on collaboration, creativity, newness, and innovation — absolutely hate hearing from a boss, especially when they're expressing concerns or providing a solution.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
