If You Do These 17 Things, Experts Say You Might Be An Overachiever Who’s Totally Burnt Out
Pushing yourself too hard can feel normal ... until it isn't.
Ron Lach | Canva Do you outperform everyone? Do you hold yourself to the highest standards? Then you just might be an overachiever. Overachievement can often be mentally and emotionally damaging.
A person who is an overachiever will often work way harder than they should to succeed. Not only do they have a highly developed work ethic, but they also tend to be perfectionists, have poor work-life balance, and have a low sense of self-worth.
“Overachievers are people who do great things, but still need to accomplish more. Even though they attain more success than the vast majority of people, they are never satisfied and always strive to accomplish more,” explains author and educational consultant, Kendra Cherry, MS.
Overachievement is not necessarily a negative thing. If your friends and family think that you are an overachiever, then it means they think you are hard-working, dedicated, and successful.
However, if you are mentally and emotionally overwhelmed by anxiety and fear about uncertainty, failure, and the future, then you need to take a deeper look at yourself. Overachievement is often a result of desperately trying to avoid negative judgment, believes Robert Arkin, Ph.D., professor of psychology at The Ohio State University.
If you do these 17 things, you might be an overachiever who’s burnt out:
1. You care only about the outcome
For overachievers, reaching the outcome is more important than anything else. You believe that others judge you based on your achievements, so hold yourself to this standard. Dr. Arkin explains that overachievers “believe that people around them judge their worthiness based upon how well they do.”
The tendency to overachieve makes us believe that failure is a personal reflection, says John Eliot, Ph.D., a clinical professor in human performance and author of "Overachievement."
Cherry adds, “Failure is not just part of the process for an overachiever — it is how they measure their worthiness. Poor outcomes can be devastating, so an overachiever will go to any ends to avoid such failings.”
2. You only feel relief, not happiness
fizkes / Shutterstock
Overcoming an obstacle or accomplishing a goal makes you feel relieved. As your focus is particularly on avoiding failure rather than enjoying your work or improving your performance, you are able to feel only relief and not happiness or satisfaction.
This is the basic difference between a high performer and an overachiever. Dr. Arkin says, “When you avoid a bad outcome, your emotional life is experienced more as a relief than it is experienced as joy, and that’s just not as rewarding.
When you constantly feel anxious and afraid of failure, you are not living up to your fullest potential. Your effort to avoid failure is preventing you from experiencing life. They’re thinking about the past and the future, mostly, instead of living in the moment and enjoying its pleasures.”
Cherry explains, “Rather than feeling pride or joy in their accomplishment, they are simply relieved that they have not failed.”
3. You are a perfectionist
Overachievement leads to a false and damaging sense of perfectionism. This perfectionist attitude can not only be witnessed at the workplace, but also at home as well. Overachievers strive to become a perfect husband and parent or to build the perfect home, says Eliot. They believe that the inability to be perfect is a warning sign of failure, so they often resort to extreme measures to hold their perfect reputation.
Cherry writes that being a perfectionist “often means that you value good work and are committed to doing your best. It is when this perfectionism becomes a source of stress and anxiety that it can start to take a toll on your physical and mental well-being.”
A 2015 study by John D. Kelly, IV, MD, revealed that perfectionism was directly linked with anxiety. The research found that “perfectionism derives from anxiety or self-esteem issues, which themselves have been linked to less personal satisfaction and an increased risk of suicide. Indeed, perfectionists have a higher risk of eating disorders, anxiety disorders, and depression.”
4. You believe you aren't worth it
All overachievers secretly have this inner belief that they are not good enough, which is why they always strive their hardest to prove that they have what it takes, mostly to themselves. Self-doubt and self-criticism about your own abilities is a sign of overachievement.
You believe your self-esteem and identity are built on your success. And when you feel inadequate, you may even resort to self-sabotage strategies.
Cherry adds that overachievers “Tend to berate themselves for failing to live up to their own excessively high expectations... Being an overachiever may mean that you are more likely to suffer from self-doubt and anxiety. The stress of constantly striving to reach an almost impossible goal, coupled with the ever-present fear of failure, can be a major source of stress.”
5. You are motivated by fear
The primary cause of overachievement is fear. Fear of failure. Fear of letting yourself and others down. Fear of being criticized. Fear of other people seeing you the way you see yourself.
This fear can motivate any overachiever to give everything they have to accomplish their goals. As they are afraid of appearing incompetent and weak before others, they start experiencing anxiety, stress, and depression.
“This type of motivation serves as a source of anxiety,” explains Cherry. “Ultimately, you are working hard to avoid a negative outcome (failure) rather than achieve a positive outcome (achieving the desired goal).”
This is a form of avoidance-based behavior that can result in worry, anxiety, distress, and other negative emotions, which can severely impact your sense of self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence.
6. You tend to ignore your personal needs to focus more on your work
And this directly affects your physical, mental, and emotional health.
7. You suffer from anxiety as you constantly worry about failure and the future
Always thinking about what you can achieve next is a shortcut to stress.
8. You are only focused on the future and are too busy worrying about the things to come
Hence, you are unable to enjoy the beauty of the present moment.
9. You are unable to relax, as you are always working
You never take any days off or a vacation, or take small breaks during the day.
10. You try to avoid failure at all costs
The need to avoid failure at all costs can often compel you to take unnecessary and dangerous risks, which can be detrimental to your well-being and reputation. This often leads to setting unrealistic goals and unethical behavior.
11. You tend to become easily frustrated and lose your temper
As you are under constant stress to avoid failure, you are highly prone to emotional outbursts when things don’t go your way.
12. You are unable to accept criticism
Criticism denotes that you have failed at something. Even the slightest constructive criticism can make you feel anxious and afraid.
13. You are unable to enjoy your success
Even after accomplishing an important goal, you immediately run after the next.
14. You don’t enjoy doing things that you are not good at
Because it means there’s a chance you may fail at getting those things done. So, you choose to stick to things you know well and are already good at.
15. Your overachievement affects your relationships
As you are always busy with your work, you can never manage to spend quality time with your loved ones.
16. You often work long hours
Yuri A / Shutterstock
And you are often the first one to reach your workplace and the last one to leave.
17. You are always running against time
You find yourself running constantly from one task to another, and hence, you are unable to find any work-life balance.
Theo Harrison is an artist, traveler, writer, former contributor to The Mind's Journal, and believer in spiritualism, psychology, and science. He writes primarily about mental health, pop culture, and relationships.
