If A Couple Is Struggling, You'll Notice These 11 Clues In Their Home
Couples might reveal that they're going through a rough patch based on what guests witness in their presence.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock A home is reflective of the people who live inside of it. Couples who are affectionate and work well together exude a sense of warmth from their homes, while those who don't have personal spaces that feel cold or empty. In fact, if a couple is struggling, you'll notice these clues in their home that allude to something more serious going on.
Obvious signs like separate sleeping arrangements or a not-so-subtle lack of shared decor can point out that something is wrong. And while some clues stick out, others might fall under guests' radar. By the time they notice these things, the couple is likely already on the brink of a split.
If a couple is struggling, you'll notice these 11 clues in their home
1. Separate sleeping arrangements
New Africa | Shutterstock
There are many reasons why a significant other might want to have different sleeping arrangements than their partner, and not all of them are negative. Some couples simply have different sleeping patterns and don't want to disturb each other. However, guests aren't always aware of this, so their immediate thought may be that something must be wrong.
A man sleeping in a separate room from his wife might be cause for concern, or guests may wonder what he did that was so bad to make him sleep in his own room. According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, around 31% of U.S. adults have opted for a sleep divorce, which means they sleep in another bedroom to accommodate their partner's needs.
2. Missing photos
New Africa | Shutterstock
If a couple is struggling, you'll notice that photos of them are either missing or completely lacking. Some people will take their photos down out of anger or frustration, and destroying photos of the two of them together can mean the relationship is coming to its end.
Photos are memories of those you love or have loved in the past, so to just casually destroy them out of spite means there is so much pent-up anger in the relationship that has been left unresolved. Maybe they display photos, but they're extremely outdated, meaning they haven't spent much time together recently.
3. Minimal communication when company is present
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
The silence between couples is a clue that isn't necessarily easy to spot at first because it involves the couple interacting with you. But the long awkward silences and the passive-aggressive glances can make anyone visiting uncomfortable.
Couples who are consistently positive tend to have better communication skills with each other. And as a study from the Journal of Family Psychology pointed out, when couples are less positive than usual during interactions, both see a dip in their satisfaction.
Communication shifts usually happen when couples begin to mirror each other. To an outsider, it can be painfully obvious that something is going on when a couple has minimal communication in the presence of others. The silence is too loud not to notice.
4. Overcrowded spaces
New Africa | Shutterstock
Neglect can come in many forms, including clutter, overcrowding, or even emotional neglect from a partner. Overcrowded living spaces, in particular, may lead to too much forced interaction, which can reduce intimacy and raise stress among the couple, causing a potential separation, according to a study published in the European Journal of Population. It also doesn't help when one person is usually doing most of the maintenance in the home while the other person does nothing.
In crowded rooms, it can bring down the mood of anyone sitting in it. And, over time, one person may begin to find their partner less appealing. It's at this point that a person should worry about their own needs rather than their partner, who doesn't seem to care about them.
5. A tense or awkward atmosphere
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
We've all witnessed a couple who act tense around each other when company is over. They make it awkward for everyone else in the room with their constant bickering and attempts to embarrass each other. It's almost like they like the attention it brings them.
But if a couple is struggling, you'll notice these clues in their home. Because the problem with this couple is that they have a lot of unresolved disagreements, and are hashing things out in front of people, which certainly isn't a good look.
A home's atmosphere is one of the most important things people notice. If everyone feels tense around the couple as soon as they enter, not only does it show how bad they are at hosting, but that they should break up as soon as possible.
6. Avoidance of household responsibilities
New Africa | Shutterstock
Noticing how one partner is swamped in the kitchen with dirty dishes while the other is doing nothing can make a house guest believe that a couple is struggling with their relationship. Responsibilities around the house play a huge role into whether a couple will stay together or not. Couples who have equal footing will stay the course while those that don't will fall flat.
It's when couples stop working together that their relationship deteriorates. Some partners who avoid household responsibilities use weaponized incompetence to get their partner to do most of the work because they feel as if they are inept to do it themselves.
In fact, around 34% of people in a survey believe their significant other has purposefully done their chores wrong to avoid doing them in the future. And it indicates that a couple isn't as happy as they try to portray.
7. A lack of shared decor
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock
Showing up to a couple's home and seeing an uneven amount of shared decor could be a sign that only one of them is contributing to the appearance of the space. Conditions inside a home affect couples' relationship quality, and things like organization and decor can influence how couples relate to each other.
Couples who are in it for the long haul always make light of their quirks, regardless if it's bad taste in decor. The point of a home is to share your personalities to the fullest extent possible. This allows people who visit to get a sense as to what type of couple you are and how your personalities differ or complement one another.
8. Different meal habits
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock
When you notice how one partner eats without the other, it can be a sign that they are struggling. Imagine your partner telling you they already ate, and when you go to try to make something, the fridge is empty. It can make one partner feel neglected or left out if their partner eats without them.
Sharing meals with each other has been proven to improve happiness in couples. One survey even found that around 67% of married couples who ate together said they were happy with their relationship, compared to 58% of married couples who said they did not eat together.
9. Neglected pets
Gladskikh Tatiana | Shutterstock
Adopting and taking care of a pet together adds an extra layer to an already complicated situation with couples who aren't in a good place. Pets feel the emotions around them, and when they hear their owners fighting all the time, they can become anxious or even depressed. Sometimes couples will be so consumed by their struggles that they forget they have pets, which leaves their pet feeling neglected.
Couples who are struggling might find some relief in signing a contract to see who gets custody of the pet, but if they bicker about everything it can be hard to compromise on who gets what. All anyone can do is hope that they solve their relationship issues for the animal's sake.
10. No signs of future planning
fizkes | Shutterstock
Walking into a couple's home and noticing that there are no calendars or to-do lists might not seem like a big deal, but it shows that they aren't planning for the future. You can't really plan a future when one partner is constantly questioning whether they truly want a relationship or not. Yet, many couples will take the leap of moving in together and still not know.
It can be frustrating when they don't get the results they want, but all of the red flags were there, they just didn't want to acknowledge them. A couple who doesn't know where things are going probably shouldn't be together long-term.
11. Closed doors
Santiago Silvano | Shutterstock
If a couple is struggling, you'll notice that there are a lot of closed doors in their home, especially when one partner is in them. Maybe they even go to another room while company is over. If you have to constantly knock on the door to even speak to them, your relationship is really in trouble.
Having closed doors in the home signifies barriers or obstacles in your relationship. It can also represent privacy and protection. If one partner is closing them whenever their partner comes around, they are trying to protect their peace. It's a strong indicator that the relationship is in its final stages and an ending is slowly creeping in.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author with a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
