11 Tiny Ways Married Men Show Love That Their Wives Usually Miss
They have different ways of showing affection and admiration.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock There are already numerous stereotypes and societal norms that define the different gendered ways people show love and express affection, but research, like a study from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, argues that these differences are far more nuanced than our culture describes. From initiating physical intimacy, to withholding certain criticisms, and even taking on household labor, there are many complex ways that men and women express love in their long-term relationships.
The complexities with affection and love in these relationships often stem from misunderstandings, where couples don't recognize when the other is trying to be supportive or love the other. Many of the tiny ways married men show love that their wives usually miss spark miscommunications that adds resentment to a marriage, where one partner feels unappreciated and the other unvalued.
Here are 11 tiny ways married men show love that their wives usually miss
1. Doing household labor together
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Similar to how men regulate their emotions through actions, rather than conversations and words, they also show their love for partners through behaviors. Even if it's doing chores together in the kitchen or taking on extra household labor when their partner is struggling, these subtle actions are some of the tiny ways married men show love that their wives usually miss.
Especially considering women tend to grapple with tension and resentment in their relationships around emotional and household labor more than their male counterparts, according to a Pew Research Center study, it's not surprising that subtle shifts from their partners are relatively unrecognizable.
2. Subtle physical touches
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Despite being overlooked in many conversations about healthy marriages and relationships, subtle nonverbal cues and physical closeness can be powerful indicators of love and intention.
Especially considering men tend to be more physically inclined in their relationships than female counterparts, according to a study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, it's not surprising that these small moments of physical touch are more powerful for husbands than for wives.
3. Calling and texting for no reason
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Random calls and texts are some of the tiny ways married men show love that their wives usually miss. They don't have to have a reason to chat or connect with their partner — they just want to stay in contact.
Even if it goes unnoticed or unappreciated by their wives, it's how they stay connected amid the chaos of life. They may even look to their partners for a level of emotional support and motivation during the work day or when they're apart.
4. Sharing leisure time together
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Sharing free time together and doing activities together at home is one of the tiny ways married men show love that their wives usually miss. Men tend to be more altruistic in their relationships than women, according to a study on gender differences, so their subtle concern for their partners and desire to spend quality time together in passing moments can go quickly unnoticed.
Even doing nothing together is a means of showing love and affection for men. While planned dates and exciting new experiences often open opportunities for closeness between partners, the small everyday moments — reading together on the couch or watching a movie in bed — can be just as important and influential for promoting intimacy as the alternative.
5. Remembering small things
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Remembering the small things is one of the ways men show love in their relationships that can be quickly overlooked by their wives amid the chaos of life. From remembering her coffee order to recognizing the subtle signs that she's feeling overwhelmed, it's these little moments of intention that breed true intimacy at home.
Especially for long-term relationships and marriages, it's these little passing moments and casual intimate actions that define the health of a connection. The big things — weddings, birthdays, and having children — are all important and influential, but on a daily basis, it's these things that make partners feel heard, valued, and seen.
6. Expressing their emotions
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Considering men in relationships tend to be healthier than their unmarried counterparts, according to a study from the Journal of Family Psychology, it's not surprising that long-term partnerships tend to breed a kind of vulnerability and emotional expression that's harder for other men to tap into alone.
With misguided gendered stereotypes and stigmas around masculinity, many men don't feel comfortable letting their guard down or expressing how they feel, so when they do get to a place of safety in a relationship, it says a lot about the kind of love they feel.
That's why expressing their emotions in passing moments and amid conflict is one of the tiny ways married men show love that their wives usually miss, especially if these partners are more emotionally equipped and comfortable with vulnerability.
7. Giving them the bigger and better things
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Whether it's the bigger portion at dinner, the comfier side of the bed, or the better latte on a Saturday morning coffee date, giving their partner the bigger and better things is one of the tiny ways married men show their love that tends to go unnoticed.
They're okay putting their own convenience, comfort, and privilege to the side to make their partner's life easier and more enjoyable, but sometimes these little actions are overlooked by the chaos of life.
8. Bringing them around his friends
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Male friendships are fundamental to setting men up for success, especially early in life. They not only provide a buffer against societal and personal stressors, they craft a safe space for connection and expression that many men struggle to develop on their own. That's why introducing and integrating their wives into these circles is such a profound act of love and admiration.
When a man intertwines you into the most important aspects of his life — from his friendships, to his professional network, and even into his hobbies — it's likely a vehicle for expressing his love to you.
9. Listening
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According to experts from the University of Minnesota, partners who are willing to actively listen and be intentional with making their spouses feel heard are strong predictors of relationship health and well-being.
Not only does listening provide safer spaces for arguments, conflict, and disagreements, it helps vulnerability to flourish and intimacy to root deeply into long-term relationships. Even when things are tough, listening is one of the tiny ways married men show love that their wives usually miss.
10. Mirroring body language
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Like a study from Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience explains, our brains are affected by close intimate relationships and love. When we're around our partner and experiencing love, our brain reacts much differently than it would in response to a family member or a close friend.
Even when it comes to body language and nonverbal cues, our brain operates in a much different way around people we love, mirroring body language we find attractive and duplicating actions in a partner we admire. That's why mirroring body language is one of the tiny ways married men show love, even if it's entirely subconscious, that their wives usually miss.
11. Giving intentional gifts
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When someone puts a lot of effort into giving you intentional and personalized gifts — rather than store-bought flowers and stereotypical presents — it's likely a sign that you mean a lot to them, like a 2015 study suggests.
Even if it seems like an obligation to some, these gifts on special occasions and holidays are one of the tiny ways married men show love that their wives usually miss. They're not trying to fulfill their duties or seek validation; rather, they want their partner to feel chosen, seen, and appreciated.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
