5 Signs You've Outgrown The Person You Love Most In Life, Even If You Still Care Deeply About Them
Feeling suffocated in love in never a good sign.
Lokman Sevim | Canva Some people don't know when they have outgrown a relationship or when to break up. Most of the time, they don't realize a relationship no longer makes them happy, even though they still love their person a whole lot.
Almost all couples in a serious relationship will do anything to make their relationship work. Yet, when there are obvious signs that something is not okay, the couple will ignore them. They might love their partner so much that they don’t want to lose them and deal with the separation process. But, no matter how hard they try, the relationship doesn’t work.
5 signs you've outgrown the person you love most in life, even if you still care deeply about them:
1. Your partner brings more pain than happiness
Your relationship should bring you happiness and inspiration; even neuroscience agrees that being in a satisfying relationship reduces gray matter density to increase subjective happiness. If your relationship brings you more pain and frustration, the person you are with might not be suitable for you.
You might be blinded by the happy moments you have shared with your partner in the past and tend to wash away the problems, frustration, and tears that your partner is causing you at present.
If you are unhappy most of the time, you might consider some changes. Don’t hold on to someone who doesn’t care about your happiness.
2. Your partner expects you to change
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When your partner wants to change your bad habits, such as smoking, drinking, or procrastinating, this is a good thing. It means that your partner wants better things for you.
However, it is not good when your partner wants you to change so you will become another person, and they are too controlling over you.
A leopard can't change its spots. You cannot change a person’s character and upbringing. Your partner should accept and respect who you are, your beliefs, and your values without expectations. Researchers in a 2020 study got a nice surprise when they discovered that gratitude and respect were higher in couples with lower expectations.
Letting your partner control who you are is not only toxic in your relationship but also toxic to your well-being, as well.
3. Your relationship won’t allow both of you to grow as individuals
You feel your relationship is suffocating, and you don’t have space or freedom to explore and grow. Settling down in a relationship doesn’t mean you put life on hold.
When your relationship requires you to give up on your personal goals, this will only lead you to become bored in your relationship and see your life as less interesting. Plus, you are missing opportunities in your life.
If you have too many regrets or missed chances because the happiness of your partner comes first, you must ask if the relationship is worth your sacrifice.
4. Your partner is hurting you emotionally, physically, or verbally
You should not allow anyone to hurt you physically, emotionally, or verbally. These types of abuse are a major no-no in any relationship. How can you tell if you are in an abusive relationship? Well, the fear of your partner is the most telling.
If you are always cautious of your actions and watchful of the words that are coming out of your mouth when you are around your partner, because you are scared that you might anger them, then chances are you are in an abusive relationship.
No one should feel unsafe. If your partner is hurting you emotionally, physically, or verbally, it's toxic love. It’s time to think whether your relationship is salvageable or if it’s time to cut the ties and leave the horrible situation.
Don’t be afraid to speak up and stand up to your partner about them being abusive.
5. Your partner is exerting little to no effort in the relationship
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Ideally, relationships should be 50/50 — they should be balanced. However, there are times when you feel that you are giving more than your partner. Giving too much in a relationship is a good thing because you show your partner you care for them.
The problem arises when your partner does not reciprocate your efforts and leaves you in a one-sided relationship. Sometimes, the signs are clear that you are in a one-sided relationship. But admitting it to yourself and deciding what to do is challenging because you are in love with your partner.
If you are in a one-sided relationship, you might consider getting out of it. So, if you're wondering, "When is it time to break up?" these are the signs to pay attention to, and you should only consider them as guidelines.
Breaking up with someone you love is not an easy thing to do. We all have different situations in a relationship. You know your limitations and tolerance. If you are unhappy with your relationship, discuss the problem with your partner. And if things still don't work out, let go, learn from it, and move on.
Esther Bilbao helps mentor women to have better relationships, health, and personal development.
