11 Little Things Frugal People Do That Make Other People Weirdly Defensive
Talking about money can be wildly uncomfortable.
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock Many people feel inherently uncomfortable and anxious when they're forced to talk about money, which is why it's one of the most common disagreement topics and points of tension in relationships, according to a study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Especially in situations where a partner or couple isn't in a financially comfortable or stable position, talking about money can heighten stress, resentment, and disconnect.
Of course, there are also a number of little things frugal people do that make other people weirdly defensive outside of their relationships. In the face of lacking self-esteem, people who struggle with financial literacy or saving money may try to justify their bad habits by making fun of frugal people and their success.
Here are 11 little things frugal people do that make other people weirdly defensive
1. Saying 'no' to going out
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There are a number of financial reasons why someone might say "no" to social plans — from saving money, to avoiding certain pressuring friend groups, and investing in other kinds of fun. However, insecure people who may already be uncomfortable and upset about their financial situation may get defensive in the face of a "no" from a frugal friend.
They're not only missing out on these specific plans, they're likely also more insecure — having a light shone on their bad habits, like making social plans and going out when they don't actually have the money.
2. Choosing cheaper options
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Whether it's opting for generic foods over brand names, cheaper clothes, or cost-effective social hang-outs, frugal people aren't afraid to cut costs without needing to sacrifice something entirely. However, this is still one of the things frugal people do that make other people weirdly defensive.
According to a study from the Journal of Marriage and Therapy, our financial situation is inherently intertwined with our self-worth and personal vulnerabilities, which is why many people respond to uncomfortable situations about money with defensiveness. They feel like, even if they're not being called out, other people's intentionality around money is a personal attack.
3. Reusing things other people throw away
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Whether it's reusing plastic bags when others throw them out, avoiding single-use water bottles, or picking up cans, reusing things other people throw away can become one of the little things frugal people do that make other people weirdly defensive.
You've probably been in a situation where someone's made a money-saving decision around you — like reusing something that you threw away — that made you feel a twinge of self-consciousness. Of course, if you're emotionally secure and self-assured, that's the extent to which you notice it. You're not getting defensive, making fun of their choice, or even playing devil's advocate to shame others.
4. Bringing their own food
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Whether it's packing a lunch for work or purchasing their own groceries on vacation, bringing their own food is one of the little things frugal people do that make other people weirdly defensive. In some ways, this discomfort stems from comparison culture, manifested in an individual way between partners, friends, or even co-workers.
Defensive people compare their own financial habits and situation to others, so when they feel like they're doing something irresponsible — in the face of a frugal person's packed lunch or grocery bill — they can't help but turn irritable.
5. Only spending when they have the money
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According to experts from Capital One, nearly 90% of people have some kind of history with impulsive shopping, overspending on things they don't need, with money they don't necessarily have. However, truly frugal people are intentional about how they use their credit and when they take on debt, no matter how large or small it really is.
They don't spend money unless they have it and they're not afraid to say "no" to things when they can't afford them. However, the people around them could very well get defensive in the face of this behavior, especially if they're personally overspending with credit cards, using payment plans for extravagant purchases, and consistently paying extra for convenience.
6. Intentionally living a minimalist lifestyle
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Frugal people who intentionally live a minimalist lifestyle — buying smaller homes, modest cars, and cheaper style elements — generally save a lot of money by avoiding status and prestige. They're not motivated by the idea of flaunting their wealth or seeking external validation for having money, so they're not afraid to opt for less extravagant purchases.
However, it's one of the little things frugal people do that make either people weirdly defensive, especially those that are already overspending to feign belonging or misguided superiority.
7. Not following trends
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Insecure people struggling with their identity may lean on mainstream trends to find belonging and comfort amid the chaos of their lives, even if that means spending on things they don't need and relying on impulsive purchases as a coping mechanism for complex emotions. However, when they see someone who's self-assured, confident, and thriving without feeding into trends or seeking external validation, it's not uncommon for them to feel resentful.
Opting out of trends and societal status symbols is one of the little things frugal people do that make other people weirdly defensive for that reason — they can't help but act on their resentment.
8. Giving practical presents
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Giving out practical presents and thoughtful little gifts is one of the little things frugal people do that make other people weirdly defensive. In a frugal person's eyes, it's pragmatic. Why spend money on or gift someone something that they'll never use, simply because it has a hefty price tag?
However, shallow people who base their entire personality off of money and wealth may get defensive when frugal people prioritize their own financial stability over seeking praise as a gift-giver.
9. Enforcing boundaries around money
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Like any other boundary or expectation in a relationship, it's not always entirely comfortable to have hard conversations about financial boundaries. However, regardless of what the boundary entails — whether it's communication, peer pressure, or financial values — it's often required for people to set them in their relationships to protect themselves from being taken advantage of.
However, it's also one of the little things frugal people do that make other people weirdly defensive, especially in toxic and unhealthy connections. If someone wants to have full access to you, control over how you spend, or influence over when you spend your money, of course they're going to be defensive about adhering to boundaries that limit those things.
10. Avoiding people who flaunt their money
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For frugal people, money isn't a status symbol or a means to connect with people, but a tool to craft their financial comfort, security, and future with. They're not interested in being around people who are shallow enough to flaunt their money and connect on the basis of economic status, which is why avoiding them is one of the little things frugal people do that make other people weirdly defensive.
Especially for people that may be insecure about their financial status or wealth, with little action or change, a frugal person's boundaries and avoidant tendencies may spark a defensive attitude.
11. Questioning social norms
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Questioning social norms — like having a big wedding, buying a new home, or investing in a brand new car — that are also incredibly expensive, is one of the little things frugal people do that make other people weirdly defensive.
Especially for people that derive a feeling of belonging, pride, and accomplishment from following traditional social roles and constructs, it's not surprising that they feel defensive when someone else is actively breaking them down.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
