You Have A Good Husband If These 11 Things Feel Normal To You
These are the most important green flags.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock People who have healthy long-term relationships and secure marriages tend to boast better mental health and physical outcomes than their unmarried peers, according to a study from the Journal of Family Psychology, largely because of the healthy habits, routines, and commitments it takes to sustain two partners. While there may be a sense of mundanity, repetitiveness, or normalcy to their daily routines, they're consistent with the love and affection they share day-after-day.
While habits and behaviors in these relationships look entirely different for every person and partner, many of the overarching themes are commonalities — things like trust, communication, affection, and respect. From having daily check-ins, to resolving conflict, and even investing time to learn each other's interests, you have a good husband if these things feel normal to you.
You have a good husband if these 11 things feel normal to you
1. Being yourself without judgment
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Mutual respect, trust, and connection is rooted in the belief that partners can be their authentic selves around each other. When one person is compromising parts of their identity for the other, not only is the balance off, one partner is also left feeling resentful and frustrated.
Of course, everyone is going to change and evolve personally in their relationships but, according to relationship coach Michelle Shahbazyan, it's up to partners to communicate, compromise, and commit to make space for each other. Authenticity is also evolving for individuals, so flexibility and communication is necessary for partners to stay connected.
2. Healthy arguments
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According to a study from the University of Georgia, having healthy conflict-resolution skills can improve personal health and well-being, while also supporting marriages and long-term relationships.
When arguments and conflicts are approached by partners on the same team, focusing on shared goals and interests, the solutions that arise are genuine and supportive. However, arguments with partners who are only trying to "win" leaves everyone feeling unheard and unsupportive.
3. Unconditional trust
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Trust is the foundation of any relationship, according to a study from Frontiers in Psychology. So, if you feel safe enough to be honest and committed enough to fully trust your partner, chances are you're in a healthy marriage.
Like another study from Eastern Illinois University adds, despite believing that trust is important, many partners still engage in infidelity, unreliable behaviors, and lacking communication habits. So, if your partner both prioritizes trust, but also shows you — with intentional actions — that he's an honest and open partner, that's a green flag.
4. Alone time — together and apart
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According to psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, doing nothing in proximity to each other is often an indicator of a healthy marriage. Even in the chaos of everyday life, work, stress, and responsibility, healthy couples carve out time to do things next to each other, even if they're focused on their own things.
It's this peaceful sense of calm that's a clear sign you have a good husband who wants to be in your presence, even if it's in silence. Especially if indulging alone time on your own feels safe and comfortable in a marriage, you probably have a secure husband who understands the benefits of individuality and personal time.
5. Getting extra support on hard days
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No healthy relationship is going to be 50/50 all the time. When one partner has a bad day, is grappling with a loss, or dealing with mental health struggles, it's their spouse's responsibility to step up — even if supporting them means taking chores off their plate.
Especially considering women tend to bear the most responsibility for household labor, according to a Pew Research Center study, despite working the same or more than their husbands, this equitable division of labor is important for maintaining trust and balance.
You have a good husband if this balance feels normal to you — whether it's emotional labor, divisions of chores, or childcare at home.
6. Giving and getting genuine apologies
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According to a study from Scientific Reports, genuine apologies are the key to harnessing closeness and forgiveness in long-term relationships, which is why you likely have a good husband if they're open about taking accountability and apologizing.
Of course, it's no easy practice to craft a truly effective apology, but leaning into that practice and discomfort is exactly what a committed partner does for the sake of their marriage or relationship. On the other hand, defensiveness and victim mentalities do the opposite, harming trust and sparking resentment between partners.
7. Feeling loved in little moments
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According to resiliency and wellness scholar Robyne Hanley-Dafoe, partners can protect their personal and marital well-being by seeking out small moments to spark joy, comfort, and closeness. Even if it's remembering how to make their favorite coffee or grabbing them a treat after work, you have a good husband if feeling loved with little things feels normal to you.
Even if marriages are largely defined by the big things — weddings, children, and big investments — the little things on a daily basis are what truly bond partners.
8. Vulnerable conversations
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Sometimes, the hardest conversations are also the ones that are most essential to have in marriages and long-term relationships. Whether it's setting a boundary, expressing a concern, or simply getting on the same page about the future, it's these vulnerable conversations that truly bond partners closer together.
So, if you have a husband who's open about expressing emotions, leaning into the discomfort of hard conversations, and resolving conflict as it comes up, chances are you've found the right partner. Even if these moments are simply to protect a marriage against resentment and encourage partners to feel importantly heard, they're worth having.
9. Feeling at home with them
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You probably have a good husband if feeling safe and secure in their presence is normal for you. You feel at home when they're around, no matter where you are or what you're doing.
While experts like psychologist Roxy Zarrabi argue that feeling "at home" with someone can be occasionally misguided — like a person coping with childhood trauma tolerating a toxic partner — for the most part, it's a sign that they see and love you for who you are.
10. Laughing
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Even if it seems subtle, couples that laugh together regularly tend to be happier, healthier, and more fulfilled, according to a study from Personal Relationships. Especially if it's natural and consistent in their personal lives, it can greatly influence mental and physical well-being for the better.
Relationship expert and author Kevin A. Thompson also suggests that playfulness is a necessity for healthy couples to cultivate intimacy, trust, and connection in their relationships. So, if your husband makes an effort to make you laugh or bring light to dark moments, chances are you're in a healthy and intentional marriage.
11. Talking about the future
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According to Lissy Abrahams, the author of "Relationship Reset," partners tend to experience disconnection and isolation in their own relationships when the future is uncertain. That's why you likely have a good husband and marriage if talking about the future, planning, and setting shared goals feels normal to you.
While it may be hard to consider the future and set lofty goals, the healthiest relationships are always on the same page, supporting each other to achieve new things, and growing alongside each other.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
