Men Who Fall More In Love With Their Wives As They Get Older Usually Have These 11 Reasons
Love, trust, and communication without obligation is the key to marital well-being.
oneinchpunch | Shutterstock Most long-term relationships and marriages are not simply healthy because they've stood the test of time; longevity is not a sole predictor of satisfaction, connection, or even trust. However, with age, many couples do tend to cultivate better, more loving, and healthy relationships, according to a study from Developmental Psychology, because of changes in priorities, values, commitments, and routines.
Men who fall more in love with their wives as they get older usually have these reasons — from changes in communication rituals, to navigating adversity and hardship with their partners, and even growing in a personal way. Their newfound commitment and love has been shaped by new habits, routines, and behaviors, some of which are true predictors of their relationship health, crafted and committed to over months and years together.
Men who fall more in love with their wives as they get older usually have these 11 reasons
1. They've been through a lot
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Shared history and longevity alone aren't predictors of relationship success, according to psychology professor Gary W. Lewandowski, but life experiences and adversity can promote more resilience and connection in partners who lean into the discomfort of life's challenges.
From building better conflict-resolution skills to practicing the art of honest and vulnerable communication, men who fall more in love with their wives as they get older have often made the decision — whether subconsciously or intentionally — to commit to their partner no matter what.
Especially considering that in individuals, adversity breeds resilience, it's not surprising that people who have already been through a lot — both with their partners and alone — tend to have a stronger sense of social support and a foundation of strength in their marriages. They know that things aren't always easy, that relationships take work, and the key to building a strong relationship isn't to boast years and years together, but to commit to standing the test of time and all the difficulties life throws their way.
2. They're more emotionally mature
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Emotional maturity is a web of many different traits and behaviors, according to psychotherapist Tonya Lester, from the art of taking accountability, to vulnerability in conversations, and even having the tools to self-regulate and reflect. In relationships, partners with this foundation of emotional maturity tend to thrive, because they're not seeking out validation or attention for their ego, overlooking their partner's needs, or trying to misguidedly cope with emotional turmoil.
Men who fall more in love with their wives as they get older usually have this reason — they've grown into a kind of emotional maturity and strength that allows them to connect, communicate, and resolve conflict with their partner on the same team.
3. They recognize the little things
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From expressing gratitude for the small things their wives do everyday — from navigating household chores to small acts of kindness and affection in public — to prioritizing them personally, men who fall more in love with their wives as they get older have the perspective to be present.
Like a study from Contemporary Family Therapy argues, it's small acts of kindness and intentional quality time spent together that truly breeds closeness, trust, and satisfaction in long-term partnerships, even if they tend to be socially characterized by large life events and future planning.
The more partners commit to being present with each other, prioritizing the little things, and expressing gratitude to their partner simply on the basis of noticing their effort, the happier they tend to be.
4. They accept her flaws
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Nobody is perfect — it's inevitable that you're going to see your partner's flaws and shortcomings in a healthy relationship, as they will yours. While recognizing these flaws can spark relationship dissatisfaction with the wrong responses and habits, the healthiest long-term partners accept and love their partner — for their full self, not just for all the good things.
According to a study from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, the way we accept, love, and treat ourselves — essentially, stemming from self-worth and internal self-esteem — affects the way we do the same for our partners. When we're comfortable in our identity and have made peace with our own flaws, we're more likely to support, accept, and sometimes love our partner's.
Men who fall more in love with their wives as they get older usually have these reasons — they're not only mature enough to recognize and accept their partner's flaws, they're self-assured enough to make peace with their own.
5. She's a stable constant
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No matter what they go through as a couple or what a husband personally struggles with in his own life, couples with stable and consistent partners tend to stand the test of time. Men who fall more in love with their wives as they get older don't have to worry about them leaving or their relationship eroding.
They feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable, express their concerns and emotions, and even lean into the discomfort of adversity without anxiety that they'll take a step back and judge them — or worse, walk away completely.
6. They have strong and stable communication skills
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Considering many women tend to experience burnout, emotional turmoil, chronic stress, and resentment in their marriages as disproportionate rates to men, like a study published in Archives for Women's Mental Health suggests — largely because of differences in emotional and physical labor expectations — it's not surprising that couples with honest and open communication combat those feelings.
When women feel safe enough with their partner and, more importantly, heard, they can express their discomfort with the experiences above that others suffer in silence with. They can ask for what they need, find support, and craft a balance that's healthy for everyone.
Men who fall more in love with their wives as they get older have perfected and practiced these communication habits — they don't just benefit women in finding stability and support, they ensure everyone feels valued and heard.
7. They respect each other
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According to career and personal coach Marty Nemko, mutual respect is the basis of any healthy relationship, whether it's a long-term marriage or a professional work connection. Even though it seems obvious that you should accept and respect your partner, it's often overlooked amid everyday struggles, anxieties, and frustrations.
Couples who truly respect each other, letting their trust and commitment form the basis of their interactions, are happier in the long run. They grow closer together, because they're not afraid of petty arguments, mean-spirited language, emotional manipulation, or an unbalanced dynamic.
8. They have their space
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Finding time alone in a marriage and building a personal sense of identity outside of a relationship isn't just important for personal growth, it ensures both partners come back to their connection as their best selves.
Whether this solitude is used for nurturing other friendships and relationships or indulging personal interests, hobbies, and self-reflection, men who feel closest to their partners ironically are celebrated in taking time apart.
9. They have a strong sense of intimacy
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Even though new stages, aging, and lifestyle changes can negatively affect intimacy — prompting partners to evolve and adopt new practices to maintain their spark — a study from the University of San Diego found that this constant practice generally boosts marital satisfaction.
Whether it's choice and intentionality, an acceptance of flaws and change, or simple communication and quality time, practicing intimacy looks different for everyone, but is often one of the many reasons why men fall more in love with their wives as they get older.
10. They're not afraid to argue
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Even though it seems ironic, couples who argue the most tend to be the healthiest in the long run. Conflict-resolution and practicing communication skills under duress are keys to maintaining long-term health and well-being in a relationship, and arguments are the perfect venue for couples to lean in and practice.
When they're not afraid to argue, disagree, or have hard conversations, everything is out in the open, rather than festering individually inside each partner and sparking stress, annoyance, and resentment. Men who fall more in love with their wives don't love them because they argue, they tend to love them because they understand them — knowing what they're thinking without having to second-guess.
11. They celebrate each other's success
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While a certain level of envy or jealousy is common in many relationships — especially early on, when someone gets or achieves something you want or a partner suffers from low self-esteem — the healthiest long-term relationships are balanced in celebration and empowerment. Not only do they craft, achieve, and celebrate shared goals together, each partner celebrates and empowers the other to do the same on a personal level.
Men who fall more in love with their wives as they get older view them as beacons of support. They've been right there, supporting them in crafting their goals and achieving their dreams, so it's impossible to imagine life without them.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
