Women Who Give Up On Finding Love As They Get Older Usually Have These 11 Reasons
With age comes experience, and women would much rather be single as a result.
Rocketclips, Inc. | Shutterstock Finding love isn't easy. From failed dates to repeated heartbreak, it can drive anyone insane. But as people grow older, things begin to change. Whether it's a shift in priorities, being scared to date again, or feeling exhausted by putting themselves out there, women who give up on finding love as they get older usually have these reasons.
But it's not like women don't want to find love. Women who have given up on finding "the one" likely once dreamed of their happily ever after. However, as time went on, they slowly began to lose hope. And despite how much they didn't want to believe it, for them, finding love just isn't as great as people made it out to be.
Women who give up on finding love as they get older usually have these 11 reasons
1. They're emotionally burned out from past relationships
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Many women grow up wishing for a happily ever after based on what they see in the movies or read in books. The idea of true love and soulmates is deeply cemented in them from a young age. Unfortunately, as they grow older, they experience what romance is actually like and the idea of true love is quickly destroyed.
This can explain why women are much more likely to be single, now more than ever. According to Pew Research Center, "Women... are by far most likely to be single later in life... roughly half of women ages 65 and older are unpartnered (49%), while those ages 30 to 49 are the least likely to be single (19%). Roughly three-in-ten women ages 18 to 29 (32%) and 50 to 64 (29%) are single."
So, while it's not always accurate to generalize, most women have experienced enough heartache and trauma that they no longer see the point in giving it another shot.
2. Nobody in their dating pool meets their standards
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One of the biggest reasons women who give up on finding love as they get older usually have is that their options for a potential mate are pretty limited. For better or worse, because women have been blamed for "picking bad men," they've slowly begun to raise their standards. From expecting a man to provide to expecting him to be just as educated as they are, women aren't settling for the bare minimum.
However, this isn't all that surprising since, according to economic policy advisor Paulina Restrepo-Echavarría, people tend to have a preference for mates who have the same education, skills, and income as they do. And with limited options, nobody seems to be a match.
3. Their priorities have shifted
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Life has changed drastically over the last few decades. What was once women being forced to stay at home taking care of the kids has turned into women having the choice to pursue a career. For women who have the choice, a lot have chosen to abandon the nuclear family in favor of pursuing their own wants and desires, meaning their priorities have shifted.
From studying abroad to climbing the corporate ladder, women can choose what they want to do with their lives. And while many still find joy in marriage, others find joy in living their lives to the fullest, learning more about themselves as the years pass. This is important as, according to a study published in Personality and Individual Differences, those who live life authentically tend to have greater well-being.
4. They're afraid to put themselves out there again
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Dating is terrifying to a lot of people. From dating horror stories to bad experiences in the past, after spending years alone, the last thing women want to do is take a chance on something that may end in disappointment. As a result, they're scared of putting themselves out there again.
It's not like these women don't want to find love, but it has become increasingly more difficult. And because of what "could" happen, they convince themselves it's not worth it. So, they remain single.
5. They don't want to give up the freedoms that come with being single
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Relationships are beautiful and hopefully make someone a better person as they grow alongside their partner. But that doesn't negate the fact that women enjoy the freedom that comes with being single and don't want to give it up.
When most people hear this, they likely think of someone who doesn't want to commit to one person. But for women who give up on finding love, it's much deeper than that. As great as relationships may be, they do limit women from pursuing their dreams.
In a relationship, couples must discuss and compromise. As licensed clinical social worker Robert Taibbi explained, "Good relationships are about balance, where both partners feel they have an equal voice and can reach a mutual compromise if there is a disagreement."
So, if a woman wants to travel for a month to Europe, out of courtesy it's best to consult with her partner. Or, if she wants to go to law school out of state and happens to live with her partner, they must jointly decide if that's the best course of action. While this might not be a dealbreaker for some, others find themselves feeling restricted, which keeps them from pursuing a relationship.
6. They're way too busy
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From jobs that take up a good chunk of their time to traveling with their friends, women are no longer concerned with settling down. Despite what their parents may think, women are way too busy living life to worry about romance.
This can explain why single women are so happy. According to a study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, "Overall, single women appear to be higher in their overall well-being compared to men. At a broader level, our findings appear to run counter to existing stereotypes regarding women as the uniquely unhappy gender in singlehood."
So, whether a woman decides to travel or work, it doesn't matter. As long as she's happy and content in life, single women shouldn't feel pressured to give up their busy life because those around them think it's time for them to settle down.
7. They're more content with other forms of love
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When most people think of love, they think of fairytale stories like Cinderella or movies like "The Notebook." However, love comes in different forms, whether it's romantic, platonic, or familial. And immersing themselves in these other forms of love is yet another of the reasons women who give up on finding love as they get older usually have.
Whether it's friendship or strengthening family bonds, life is much more than just settling down in a romantic relationship or marriage. As fervently as some may disagree, at the end of the day, human beings are looking for one thing: connection. In fact, human beings are wired to connect.
But that connection doesn't have to be a loving relationship between husband and wife; rather, it can be between best friends or a mother and daughter. As long as a woman feels loved and cherished by those closest to her, who cares if she ditches a traditional lifestyle?
8. They're quick to notice red flags
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If women get into a bad relationship, it isn't just trauma they have to deal with. From family members blaming her to friends saying "I told you so," women are given the burden of choosing wrongly, even though their partner is the one who acted poorly. As a result, they may begin to see red flags everywhere and, as a result, don't want to look for a mate anymore.
Now older and wiser, women who are experienced in life can quickly identify those red flags. In a world where the dating pool is looking more like a horror movie, it's better to be safe than sorry — not just for their mental health, but their physical health as well.
According to a 2021 study, toxic relationships have a moderate impact on physical health and a high impact on mental health. If women feel an inkling that something is wrong, they're not afraid to quickly run away to stay safe.
9. Dating feels just like a job interview
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In the past, women had an idea of how their first date would go. Their date would pick them up with flowers in hand, take them to a nice restaurant, and drop them off without expecting anything in return. However, as they've had more experience, one of the huge reasons women who give up on finding love as they get older usually have is that dating feels like a job interview.
Blame it on the rise of red pill content or self-comparison, but it's all too common to hear someone say, "What do you bring to the table?" Like a job interview, they'll interrogate them about their career or how much money they make, all without asking the basic questions like their favorite color, their life goals, or what they're looking for in a partner.
While some people don't see anything wrong with this line of questioning, for many women, they'd rather stay home than spend hours getting ready, only to leave disappointed.
10. They refuse to change themselves for someone else
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In an ideal world, people could be exactly who they are without changing themselves for anyone else. However, in a relationship, this sentiment goes down the drain as partners are forced to compromise or get rid of traits that their partner considers frustrating.
As a result, women who give up on finding love as they get older don't want to change themselves to be with someone else. They've gotten to an age where they're comfortable with who they are and aren't too keen on being forced to be someone they're not.
While some might call them selfish, it's their decision if they want to remain single or not. Even if others don't agree, a woman's singleness doesn't affect those around her, so who cares?
11. They don't want to raise another adult
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Some partners aren't evolved enough to maintain a relationship. Whether it's not knowing how to wash clothes or being insensitive to their partner's needs, it's not a woman's job to teach their mate how to be an adult in a relationship.
Unfortunately, many women find themselves becoming a second mother to their partner, as they're forced to take on all the mental and household labor, with little appreciation in return. Because of this, women give up on finding love because they don't want to disrupt their peace.
Even if it means rejecting people left and right, in her eyes, it's much better than having to live with the possibility of raising another adult. After all, nobody wants to feel like a motherly figure in their relationship.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
