6 Behaviors That Make Women Feel Deeply Connected To Men, According To Psychology
Set your intentions on making her feel the love.
Strelciuc Dumitru | Canva Many men are completely stumped about how to make a woman feel deeply connected to them. A lot of men seem to wander around in the dark, not knowing how to show their girlfriends and wives love. One of my clients told me he was going to give his girlfriend a vacuum cleaner for her birthday.
Instead, I directed him to the local jewelry and greeting cards. What she wanted, I told him, was not the practical, but the emotional. "Emotional" can be tough for some guys. But what women want from men isn’t psychologically complicated.
Here are six behaviors that make women feel deeply connected to men, according to psychology:
1. The ability to communicate well
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Many women wish their men would use their words more often. They wish men would tell them they look nice when they're dressed up, their success at work is remarkable, their golf game was dead on, and the dinner they cooked was tasty.
Earned compliments such as these make women feel good about themselves. Knowing someone they love is noticing their successes means the world to them and makes them feel secure with themselves.
How should you compliment a woman? One study's findings showed women find men who use metaphorical language in compliments more attractive. Furthermore, it makes women happy when men verbalize their appreciation for the things their women consistently do for them.
A client of mine always supported her man when he needed to work late, but he never acknowledged it. Another made an effort to look nice whenever she saw her guy, so he knew he was worth the effort, but he never seemed to notice. Another client helped pick up her boyfriend’s kids from school, but he never thanked her.
All of those things they did for love, and none of their guys verbalized their appreciation of their efforts. Many men say, "I don’t need to tell her I appreciate her. She knows." And while she might know you appreciate her, she still wants to hear you say it. She wants to know you see what she does out of love for you, and you recognize how special it is.
Don’t assume your woman knows how you feel — tell her. Even if it’s hard for you to express how you feel about her, you can recognize her successes and the things she does for you by using your words.
2. The ability to be affectionate
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Many men hesitate to be affectionate with their women. For many of them, their understanding of relationships comes from watching their parents.
If there were any intimacy issues with their parents, such as withholding affection if chores weren’t done, that's what a man thinks a relationship should look like. Being intimate can be hard for them because they might have never seen what healthy intimacy might be.
For women, if their man pulls their hand away when she's reaching for it or turns away when she goes in for a hug, she feels like he doesn’t love them or isn’t attracted to them. These thoughts can breed insecurity and cause havoc in a relationship.
If you struggle with touching your partner, talk to her about it. If she can understand where you are coming from, and you can understand her needs around affection, it reduces her insecurity. A lack of physical touch is one of the biggest reasons women file for divorce, research on loneliness in intimate relationships showed, as it can lead to feelings of loneliness and depression.
3. The ability not to to try to fix her
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When women are faced with struggles, part of how they deal with them is by processing the emotions around the issue. For men, the inclination is to brainstorm a fix.
If a man tries to fix a problem while a woman is still processing emotions, things can get messy. Men need to practice more empathy when helping their women process an issue. Empathy is defined as "the ability to understand and share the experience of another."
Instead of trying to fix her problem, just try understanding where she is at and acknowledging how frustrating, upsetting, or anger-producing it is. What she wants is for you to accept and understand where she is, in the moment, and to empathize.
So, next time you see her struggling with something, don’t make suggestions for how to fix things. Simply tell her you understand how she's feeling and you're there for support.
4. The ability to treat her like a lady
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This can be tricky in this modern day where women can — and should — expect equal treatment, both in the workplace and in the world. That being said, women still like to be treated like ladies who are desired, respected, admired, and appreciated.
How about opening a car door for your lady, buying her the special scent she likes, telling her how fabulous she looks, or taking her out on a special romantic date?
How about rubbing her feet, bringing her flowers, or retrieving something from a high shelf? Yes, men and women are equal, but that doesn’t mean a woman doesn’t like to be treated like a lady sometimes.
5. The ability not to overprotect her
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Treating someone like a woman is one thing, but treating us like the weaker gender is another. Many men don’t share things with their women because they're "trying to protect her." They tell those little lies that seem inconsequential but have real repercussions.
The little lies can include telling her you'll be home for dinner at 6 p.m., knowing you won’t be home until 7. You don’t tell her because you don’t want to upset her. Or telling her you're going to go out for one beer, knowing there's a long, fun night ahead. Or not telling her you ran into your ex at the coffee shop and you talked for a while.
All of these lies might be meant to "protect" your woman, but, in reality, they will only serve to make her trust you less. And when she trusts you less, relationships can fall apart.
Being honest about everything — big and small — is key to a healthy relationship. This is a big part of what a woman needs to feel loved. Making every effort to always be honest will help your woman love and trust you even more, as explained by research on trust in close relationships.
Knowing what women want from men is a great way for a man to set up their relationship for success. There is one more thing every woman wants.
6. The ability to follow through
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They want to know if you say or agree to do something for them, you'll do it. If you say you want to go to the movies, you'll show up. If you're going to fix the car, get it done. If you're going to take the kids out to give her a break, do it.
One of the biggest contributing factors to the downfall of a relationship is when men make promises and don’t follow through. When they do that, women often doubt their man’s affection. Their insecurities can cause more damage than you can ever know.
So, recognize the importance of following through. Establish goals you can reach and, always, do them for your woman. Start with the list above, then set your intention right now and do the work you need to do to make your woman feel loved.
Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC-based Certified Life Coach who works with individuals who strive to heal their toxic relationships so they can have their happily ever after. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, Psych Central, among many others.
