Men Who Are Genuinely Terrible To Live With Almost Always Do These 11 Things At Home
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock Going from living alone to living with another person can be a tricky dynamic to manage. Even if you love that person wholeheartedly and genuinely want to spend the rest of your life with them, the habits they have at home can sometimes get on your nerves. Living with a man can have moments that truly test your patience and peace of mind. And, let's be honest, men who are genuinely terrible to live with almost always do certain things at home, whether it's being inconsiderate or never showing empathy.
It's not about the little messes they leave here and there, but about the patterns they exhibit that make being at home incredibly chaotic and stressful. It's the kind of stuff he does that when you walk into the room and see, you have to close your eyes and count backwards from 10. Of course, this isn't to shame any men or make it seem as if all men are doing these things at home, but more about being able to understand their behaviors. And if you're currently living with a man, it might be a bit of a relief to know that you're not alone in experiencing these things.
Men who are genuinely terrible to live with almost always do these 11 things at home
1. Never clean up after themselves
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Women, on average, tend to spend roughly an hour and 20 minutes per day cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry. About one-third of that is just spent cleaning. Men, on the other hand, spend about half an hour performing these same duties, and only 10 minutes scrubbing and tidying.
It can be frustrating living with a man who doesn't know, or care to, put away the dishes, make sure the laundry is folded and put away, or just making sure to wipe down the bathroom sink after he's done shaving.
Some men truly just have the ability to leave messes behind them everywhere they go without even a second thought about it. They can walk past it as if they didn't just leave it themselves. But having to come home to a clutter and uncleaned mess can really take its toll on a person's mental energy.
2. Forget to replace the toilet paper
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It may not seem like a huge deal, but it's the little things in a marriage that tend to matter most. And men who are genuinely terrible to live with almost always forget to replace the toilet paper when it runs out at home. He'll use the very last square of the toilet paper, yet he just doesn't take the time to put in a new roll for you to use. And then he'll somehow act surprised when someone complains that he used the last bit of toilet paper and didn't have the proper etiquette to not just leave the empty roll there.
It's less about the actual paper itself but the complete disregard for anyone but himself. He's simply not thinking about the fact that someone will eventually use the bathroom after him and will be incredibly frustrated when they have to maneuver themselves just to solve that problem. No matter how much you tell him to change this behavior, it's like it goes in one ear and out the other.
3. Never restock the snacks
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Despite the fact that he'll be the one who finishes off the pack of cookies or drinks up all the juice in the fridge, he can't seem to find the time or energy to actually replace these snacks. Now, when you actually want to grab a snack from the pantry, everything is either gone or he's left the empty box in his wake, which just adds insult to injury.
Every time he runs out of something, he's never thinking he should grab some more later. So now the missing bag of chips is less about the lack of snacks in the house, and more about the inconvenience of living with someone who can't just plan ahead.
And then there's the lack of awareness or just the unwillingness to care about eating up all the snacks. No matter how much you hint or ask nicely, it's like he can't see the error of his ways.
4. Create constant tension with their mood
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There's nothing worse than living with a man who seemingly dictates the mood of everyone else by what kind of attitude he has. If he's experienced even the most minor inconvenience. suddenly he has to make it everyone else's problem. You might find yourself on the receiving end of him snapping at you or making these passive-aggressive comments.
"Displaced aggression occurs when someone directs their anger toward an innocent bystander, rather than the provocateur," explained psychiatrist Srini Pillay. "People low in agreeableness or high in narcissism may be more likely to display displaced aggression."
Living with someone who has to let their negative energy dominate the household feels impossible to deal with. It's exhausting because the tension feels constant. Even the good moments feel overshadowed because you're wondering if the next second will not be as nice once he gets himself into a bad mood. The walking on eggshells at home can feel draining when it continues to happen day after day.
5. Leave lights on in every room
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It truly doesn't matter if no one is even in there, men who are genuinely terrible to live with seem to leave the lights on no matter what. Now the cost of the energy bill has gone up, but somehow that doesn't seem to register to them.
You might make an effort to ensure all of the lights are turned off when you walk from one room to the next, or even when you leave the house entirely. But the second you return, you notice that he has turned them all back on again, even when he's not even in the room or house to use the lights in the first place.
It becomes yet another thing that he isn't aware of and how annoying this habit can really be. Either he just can't remember, or refuses to remember, that you've told him too many times the lights should be turned off when they're not actively being used.
6. Show little to no empathy for the feelings of others
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Whenever there's a concern or problem, rather than being open and determined to fix the cause of tension, he'll refuse to listen. If someone is trying to express something that has frustrated them, especially if it's because of his own actions, he won't care enough to try and get to some kind of solution. What makes this behavior so frustrating is that it tends to be consistent.
"Our capacity for all types of empathy varies such that we may be highly empathetic at times and highly unempathetic at others. Stress is the biggest modifiable factor that suppresses our capacity to express empathy," pointed out clinical psychologist Sherry Pagoto.
It's him repeatedly failing to acknowledge what you might be feeling and now you're just left to navigate these feelings on your own. There's zero empathy for what you might be going through, and yet he expects you to show him the one thing he can't seem to show you. Having to live with someone like that can be hard, even if you love them immensely and they're great in any other area.
7. Use someone else's things without asking
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It doesn't matter what it is, you'll notice that he can't seem to borrow something without at least asking first. It could be an item of clothing, the body wash in the shower, or even a phone charger. Suddenly, you can't seem to find your belongings or notice that they're more depleted than normal. They treat personal space as if it just doesn't exist at all.
It becomes this regular habit where they think what's yours is theirs. Your things are constantly being used by them without your knowledge or consent, and you end up either having to put your things under lock and key or just replace them with your own money when they run out.
8. Refuse to communicate effectively about problems
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Men who are genuinely terrible to live with almost always struggle to communicate their problems to their partner in a healthy way. Rather than being able to have an honest conversation or come to a compromise about something that might be bothering him or the both of you, he'll shut down.
He will do his best to ignore the issues and even react with hostility when confronted. But the thing is, living with someone means having to be able to work through issues that come up. And issues will arise — that's just the reality of sharing a space with someone.
"When we leave issues unaddressed, they rarely disappear. Instead, tension and conflict are likely to build. Avoiding difficult conversations entirely can lead to a breakdown in communication and trust and possibly even resentment," wellness scholar Robyne Hanley-Dafoe explained.
But when that person just completely refuses to engage in any kind of dialogue to come to a solution after an issue comes up, the issue will continue to fester and grow. When you're living with someone, you can't really sweep things under the rug when you're both under the same roof. You can most definitely try, but it'll eventually bubble up and become something much bigger.
9. Blame others for his mistakes
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He's rarely able to accept responsibility for the messes or neglected duties that he has around the house. Rather than being able to admit that he should have taken the trash out the night before rather than letting it sit and start to smell, or even that he should have replaced the snacks he ate, he'll lash out.
It's not as if anyone is expecting him to be the most perfect person to live with, but a huge part of sharing a space with someone is being able to acknowledge the mistakes and fix them before eventually moving on.
"It's natural to want to avoid making mistakes and to experience self-consciousness and distress when we make them. These habitual reactions can stem from our desires to be of service and to succeed, and also from messages we receive about how others will respond, as well as our own direct experiential history with people’s responses to mistakes," pointed out clinical psychologist Lizabeth Roemer.
No one is trying to paint him out to be some kind of villain when they bring up things that he might have messed up. But for him, he'll immediately start internalizing these faults and take it as some kind of personal slight against his intelligence.
10. Leave the oven dirty after cooking
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It doesn't take much to just do a simple wipe down of the oven after it's used. However, living with a man who routinely just leaves the oven dirty can be quite annoying when the solution is so simple to avoid the mess in the first place.
It's different if it's just a one-time slip-up or it was a busy night for him and he was just in a rush and forgot. But it's an entirely different thing when it's something he does consistently.
It now becomes a part of your routine to brace yourself for the mess that you'll see in the kitchen, and especially on top of the stove and inside of it after he's done cooking. It's gotten to the point where you might even be right up behind him in the kitchen with a rag and some cleaner because you know he's never going to do it on his own free will.
11. Forget to prep meals
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According to a 2022 survey from Gallup and Cookpad, women cook just under nine meals per week, while men cook about four per week. It can be frustrating to live with a man who can't seem to manage to make dinner on his own. Instead, he relies heavily on you, even after you've just worked a very long day and the last thing you want to do when you come home is stand in the kitchen for an extended amount of time to make dinner.
Now everyone has to scramble and figure out something else for dinner, which usually ends up being takeout of some kind. What should just be a simple part of daily life when living with someone turns into a huge area of stress. It seems like no matter how many sticky notes you leave about making dinner for that night, and even if you take the time to leave out everything on the kitchen counter, he can't seem to get the hint.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
