Men Who Can't Recognize A Good Thing When It's Right In Front Of Them Usually Have These 11 Reasons
Some men just can't see the forest for the trees.
YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV / Shutterstock If there’s one movie trope that seems to translate into real life, it’s the trope of the man who can’t recognize what a great girl he has. He’s ungrateful, boorish, and at times, downright cruel.
Did you ever wonder how some guys don’t seem to notice the great things they get in life? It often has a bunch to do with these reasons below.
Men who can't recognize a good thing when it's right in front of them usually have these 11 reasons
1. They may have been spoiled as a kid
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Almost every woman has come into a situation with a guy whose mother did everything for him. She cooked his meals, did his laundry (well into adulthood, too!), and also showered him with all sorts of stuff. She was a great mom, but she never really taught him what was normal.
Guys who grew up having every whim catered to tend to ignore how much their girlfriends do. As it turns out, coddling guys doesn’t work out well.
2. They may be entitled
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We often assume there is a big, storied reason as to why a guy doesn’t show gratitude for the things he gets in life. That would be ideal, true, but sometimes, it’s just his personality.
If he’s the guy who always assumes the rules don’t apply to him or the guy who patently ignores people because he can, he’s likely entitled. Sadly, this is a personality trait. It can be innate, so it may be better to ditch him.
3. It could be a sign of Red Pill indoctrination
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Perhaps one of the worst things to happen to the dating scene is the Red Pill, a misogynistic online movement that promises to teach men how to get a girlfriend. In reality, Red Pill techniques tend to be the techniques that make men act hateful, ungrateful, and entitled toward women.
A lot of Red Pill techniques teach men to act fairly unimpressed when a woman does something major for them. Unsurprisingly, that tends to leave them single.
4. They’re not used to doing things on their own
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This (kind of) feeds back to the first point on this list, but sometimes, it’s not just moms spoiling their sons. Some guys had roommates who did all the cooking and cleaning. Others had executive assistants. Even more, they just never really did anything on their own.
A lot of people, especially young adults or full adults who haven’t lived alone, never really appreciate all the work it takes to maintain a home well. They’re the type to put stuff in a laundry basket and expect it to wash itself.
5. Some folks just don’t trust a good thing
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Have you ever been around a person who had a very strong, deep-seated trauma? If so, you might have noticed that paranoia is a sign of a traumatized mind, especially if they have PTSD. People who have been repeatedly traumatized due to abuse generally don’t trust kind actions, even when they have been told it’s okay.
Simply put, too much kindness can make them act out. They start assuming that there’s a string or two attached. Or worse, they assume that you’re love-bombing them.
6. It could be that others are trying to sabotage the relationship
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Some of the best potential relationships are ruined by the actions of those around the couple, rather than the couple themselves. Guys with toxic female friends, moms who are just a little too territorial, or exes who still want them around might play a part in this.
If he’s the type to listen way too much to what his friends have to say, this is probably the reason why his relationship status ain’t what it should be. Unfortunately, guys who get pulled around by their friends’ whims aren’t really relationship material until they wise up.
7. It could also be a matter of personal insecurity
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This might throw some folks for a loop, but it’s true. When you get past a certain level of insecurity, the idea of someone treating you well starts to mess with you. You start internalizing the idea that you’re not worthy of love and affection.
Rather than embrace it, they end up getting worried and nervous about what’s going on. They start assuming that you are not worthy, simply because you find them worthy. As a result, they end up getting trapped in this cycle of push-pull behavior that keeps them single and pushes others away.
8. It could be that they just don’t understand you
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Did you ever meet someone who just never quite seemed to get what you were trying to say or do? You can both be asking for the same thing, and it’ll sound like two different languages. Yet you both want the same things, albeit often in different ways and for different reasons.
If you keep hearing him say that you don’t appreciate him or that he doesn’t understand you, it might be a matter of communication. This is something that sometimes can be fixed with therapy.
9. They might have a personality disorder
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Believe it or not, there are diagnoses in the medical world that literally say that certain awful behaviors and mentalities are ingrained in a personality. They’re called personality disorders, and they often make it hard to actually have a decent relationship with them.
Certain personality disorders make people act as if they can’t tell a good thing when it happens, even when they logically might know you’re the best thing to happen to them. It’s worth noting that while they are potentially curable, the prognosis is usually poor.
10. They may be using you
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Let’s face it, guys who are interested in a woman make no qualms about letting them know. They find excuses to find cute things about their girlfriends or wives. They give them preferential treatment.
If you have to explain to a guy and show him that you’re worthy, he’s not actually interested in you. Rather, he’s using you. He might like you to a point, but he’s not there for the long run. It’s best to cut things off if you constantly have to chase a guy down.
11. You might not actually be a good thing together
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Sometimes, it can be hard to see the forest for the trees. This is especially true when you’re deep in a relationship that you’ve put a lot of work into, but haven’t really gotten what you want from it.
You might be falling for a Sunk-Cost Fallacy, a logical fallacy where we think that we should stick things out despite all evidence that it’s failing. This leaves you stuck in a situation you keep trying to improve, even though you might low-key realize it’s not getting better.
If he keeps acting like you’re not a great prize, this could be your sign that he’s rightfully not recognizing a good thing, but only because it takes two to tango, and you’re only one person.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
