Your Parents Raised You Right If You Refuse To Tolerate These 11 Things From Anyone
When you were raised right, you know your worth and won't dim your light for anyone.
mentatdgt / Shutterstock From the moment we're born, our parents are our teachers. They teach us values that shape the people we become. Whether these lessons are your mom informing you how to know a friend doesn't have your best interest at heart, or your dad teaching you the importance of doing your own laundry, that information truly sticks long after you're no longer under your parents' supervision. It's incredibly heartwarming to be raised knowing the importance of strong boundaries and self-respect.
One of the best lessons is what we shouldn't tolerate, especially if tolerating it means disrupting our peace. When you've been raised to know your worth and not dim your light for anyone, you won't entertain energy that doesn't serve to make your life better. If your parents raised you right, you're someone who simply refuses anyone being in your space who shouldn't have been allowed there in the first place.
Here are 11 things you refuse to tolerate from anyone if your parents raised you right
1. One-sided relationships
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If you refuse to stick around when all the effort falls on your shoulders, your parents instilled the value of others showing up for each other. When you were raised with that kind of love and care, you refuse to be the only person checking in on loved ones and friends, planning dates to hang out, and doing the emotional heavy lifting.
It's downright exhausting to be the only person nurturing a connection when the other person is simply fine letting you do all of the work. Licensed clinical psychologist Dianne Grande explained it can be hard to realize you're in a one-sided relationship in the first place.
"Many people find themselves stuck in this type of relationship before they realize that it’s developing. Sometimes, the one-sidedness ends when the giver sets clearer boundaries with the taker, but many people find it difficult to set clear boundaries with others," she said. "If we focus on the behaviors and the relationship circumstances rather than the labels, we might be better at recognizing these circumstances in our own lives."
2. Letting people make decisions for you
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When you're raised in a household with parents who teach you how to embrace independence, you become someone who can't be around people who have controlling tendencies. You know the difference between someone who genuinely cares for you and wants to see you succeed versus someone who is only trying to assert their beliefs and thoughts without allowing you to speak.
"Recognizing these behaviors early is critical. Taken together, they create an imbalance of power that erodes your freedom. If you’re experiencing most or all of these behaviors, talk to someone you trust and, if you need to, make a plan and leave safely. Don’t wait for things to escalate," encouraged psychotherapists Matt Wotton and Graham Johnston.
The second someone controlling enters your life, you're quick to dismiss them because you were raised to think for yourself and not allow others to think for you. When someone tries to steer you in another direction, you know with every fibre of your being there's no way you should entertain it.
3. People who make you feel dramatic for expressing your emotions
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Intentional parents make sure to teach their kids that expressing emotions is incredibly important. Feelings should never be brushed off or criticized. If someone comes around you attempting to shrug you off or accuse you of being dramatic just for expressing your emotions, you're quick to remove yourself entirely.
You're aware that expressing how you truly feel, whether you've been hurt or you're excited about something, is a vital part of making genuine connections with others. Licensed therapist Jason N. Linder explained that people should never bottle up the emotions they are feeling.
"This, over time, can make it easier to identify them in your mind to yourself, verbally or in writing, and let them out in a healthy way," he said. "This will help you understand yourself better, especially the challenges you are facing and the potential solutions needed. It will also help you in your relationships, as strong, close relationships are built on sharing vulnerable emotions."
Anyone unable to hold space for the most vulnerable parts of you is someone who just doesn't deserve to be in your space, period.
4. Someone constantly interrupting you during conversation
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If you were raised to prioritize listening when someone is talking to you, you're someone who expects the same in return. When you're around someone who is constantly interrupting and doesn't allow a chance to get your thoughts out, you notice immediately and clock their behavior. The reason this may get on your nerves is that it's all about respect, and someone who is not interested in listening to you is also showing you disrespect.
Professional relationship specialist Andy Lopata explained that people have options if they find themselves being interrupted constantly, whether it means letting it go and "follow the flow of the conversation, wait for your moment to come back to your point, or call out the behavior immediately."
"If you are aware of why people are interrupting you, it becomes easier to process. Understanding that it might not be a lack of interest in what you are saying but something else that motivates the other person may make it easier to accept."
5. Someone trying to compete with you instead of supporting you
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You know your parents raised you right when you're always excited for someone's achievements instead of being threatened. You don't see someone accomplishing a goal as competition because you're aware there's enough winning to go around. But if someone treats your milestones as a threat to their success, you know that person should not be around you.
Psychologist Christopher Dwyer explained that while it's natural for people to experience feelings of envy, it's also important "that you account for it if faced with a scenario in which an important decision needs to be made in context."
There's such a stark difference between someone who is trying to uplift and motivate you and someone who is always bringing you down and turning their nose up at all of the good things that happen to you. For the people you surround yourself with, you need them to be supportive all the way through because that's how you make sure to show up for others.
6. Friends who guilt-trip you for needing space
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You simply have no room for friends who can't understand time alone and space to be with your thoughts. As a child, your parents stressed the importance of recharging on your own without friends. It doesn't mean you're pushing people away, but rather you need to catch your breath and come back to yourself.
"Sometimes, you can really feel what you need to do by feeling what's happening for you when you don't. 'Don't,' that is: ease up, unwind, recharge, put your feet up, take a load off, just chill. Because when you don't rest, you wear out, wear down, and start running on empty. Then you're not much good for yourself or anyone else," explained psychologist Rick Hanson. "When you get some rest and get more rested, you have more energy, mental clarity, resilience for the hard things, patience, and wholehearted caring for others."
If you're around people who try and guilt-trip you into not taking time for self-care, you immediately know that's not what a friend would do. Instead, a friend would understand you need space and encourage you to take it when they notice you may be struggling.
7. Those who can't respect your 'no' without needing a reason
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Being someone who was raised to respect and understand that 'No' is a complete sentence, you have zero appreciation and tolerance for those who can't see the same. You simply refuse to over-explain or justify why you don't want to do something. So, when someone pushes back and demands a reason you're saying no, you can recognize it as a bright red flag.
When you tell someone no, you expect them to respond with acceptance, not immediately jump on a guilt trip to change your mind. Someone who genuinely cares won't cross your boundaries and make you uncomfortable.
8. Being judged for asking for help
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As someone who was raised to have good values and morals, you know there's nothing weak about needing to lean on people for support. The true testament of strength is knowing when you're not strong enough to carry a burden alone. However, when people around you suddenly call you weak or needy for asking for help, you recognize it's an empty insult and holds zero weight.
Asking for help means you're allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and that's something your parents may have taught you. That means you trust the people around you to be in your corner when you most need them, and that's also why they're there as well.
9. People who can't apologize without making it your fault
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A real apology doesn't come with attached conditions or the word "but." Your parents may have been the first people to teach you that lesson by showing a proper way to apologize to make sure that the other person knows how sorry you are.
Even if you don't think you did anything wrong, you know you should express how apologetic you are because your actions hurt someone else. There's a big difference between taking accountability and attempting to deflect your actions.
10. People who disguise their rude behavior as being 'honest'
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Honesty and kindness exist at the same time. It's a lesson your parents may have been extremely vocal about. You know there's nothing good about someone attempting to be direct when, in reality, they're being disrespectful. There's nothing less tolerable than someone who has no problem dishing out unsolicited advice without realizing it's hurting someone's feelings.
If you have nothing nice to say, you shouldn't be saying anything at all. If you're unable to deliver truth with a side of empathy, you shouldn't be delivering anything. You're most likely someone who was raised to speak with intention and not allow others to walk all over you if they're unable to do the same.
11. People who force you to shrink yourself so they can feel good
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As someone who was raised to be a person who never dims their light for anyone, you don't expect anyone to make you feel small so they can feel powerful. You are someone who needs secure people around you. The moment someone tries to be in control and becomes uncomfortable when the spotlight is on you, you know they don't have your best interests at heart.
You were raised to know your light should never take away from someone else because life is simply not a competition, especially with the people who love and care about you. Your peace is something you protect all of the time, and when someone thinks your worth is not important, you are quick to show them the door without hesitation.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
