Only Women With Great Mothers Learned These 10 Important Lessons
Your mother has a tremendous impact on the woman you grow up to be.
Forewer / Shutterstock While mother-daughter relationships are thought of as chaotic connections, especially during the teenage years, the truth is that they’re incredibly profound and important for ensuring women grow up with a stable foundation of health, wellness, and self-esteem.
Research has shown that many of the most important lessons women learn are taught by their mothers, so when the relationship between them is faulty or disconnected, it can take a long-term toll. However, there are also several lessons that women can teach their daughters to set them up for lifetime happiness and success. Only women with great mothers learned many of these important lessons, and chances are, they’re thriving in adulthood because of them.
Only women with great mothers learned these 10 important lessons
1. Know your worth
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Knowing yourself, your worth, and your boundaries is key to success, no matter what age you are. For many people, self-esteem is cultivated from their upbringing, especially between mothers and daughters early in life, according to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Never settling for less than you deserve can be difficult, especially when you don’t have the self-worth to comfort yourself and pave a secure path forward without guidance or approval. However, women with great mothers learned to prioritize themselves and never apologize for their confidence. When they do decide to bring someone or something into their life, it only adds value to the foundation they’ve thoughtfully crafted.
2. Asking for help is a sign of strength
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While some families teach their kids to be hyper-independent and autonomous, there’s great power in having the ability to ask for help or seek advice when you need it. It’s not only a trait of highly intelligent people, but it’s a bonding experience that helps people to feel heard.
Women with great mothers learn how to ask for help from an empowered place, which is why they tend to thrive in their relationships, social interactions, and professional lives. They’re not afraid to set their ego aside to ask someone for assistance or too proud to ask for advice when they’re feeling overwhelmed or conflicted.
3. You’re in control of your own life
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Of course, there are aspects of life you can’t control. From losing a loved one to struggling in a job and even going through heartbreak, some parts of life are inevitable. However, it’s always possible to control your response and how you react to the undeniable things life throws at you.
Great mothers teach their daughters to take control of their lives by building a strong relationship with themselves, built on trust, reliability, commitment, and love. These women, in adulthood, are the ones who are most successful, happy, and fulfilled because they know how to handle the ups and downs of life.
Whether it’s navigating conflict with a partner, grappling with financial insecurity, or mending a faulty family relationship, they’re in control of their fate simply by controlling their actions and reactions to things.
4. Beauty comes from within
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We’ve all heard this one-liner a million times before, but women with great mothers truly learned this life lesson and applied it. Beauty is exemplified with empathy, by how you treat others, yourself, and navigate the world. Appearance can be important for self-love and building authenticity, but the thing that draws people to you is your genuine attitude and empathetic nature.
Especially in our society that tends to pressure women to fit in and adhere to toxically unrealistic body and beauty standards, having a mother who overlooked all of that and kept you from falling into the trap of external validation is a superpower.
5. ‘No’ is a full sentence
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In a world that pressures women to over-explain and justify their independence, it’s important to have a motherly role model who teaches you lessons about accountability, autonomy, and grace. For example, “no” is a full sentence.
Women with great mothers learned that they don't need to rely on external validation and set strong boundaries. You don’t have to explain your choices to anyone, unless you choose to. You’re allowed to say no, set boundaries, and protect your energy when it’s being taken advantage of. Nobody is entitled to your time, energy, space, or words, even if they think they are.
6. It’s OK to stay in
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Everyone has ideas of what fun looks like. Going out with friends and experiencing culture is a great way for some young women to build identity and make connections, but it’s OK to say no if your idea of fun on a Friday night looks like cozying up in your space to watch a movie and order food, that’s completely fine.
Women with great mothers learned this important lesson, which is why they’re much less likely to battle internalized guilt and shame for prioritizing themselves and their needs later in life. Women with great mothers learned to overlook societal standards and put themselves first, even if it meant refusing to settle for superficial relationships and external validation.
7. Settling down isn’t a requirement
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Ideas about settling down truly start at home, according to a 2007 study. Many parents teach their kids, and more specifically, their daughters, that settling down and getting married should be their life’s mission. However, great mothers give their daughters the autonomy to decide for themselves what their future is.
If being a mother is their life’s goal, that’s great. The same goes for pursuing a career, getting married, finding a partner, and investing in a hobby. You should prioritize what you want, rather than what society or the people around you want.
8. Relationships take work
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Whether it’s a friendship, a co-working partnership, or a romantic relationship, the connections we foster in our lives take more work than most people would like to believe. It’s not always comfortable to have hard conversations, admit where we need to grow, and let people go when they’re not matching effort, but that’s life.
Great mothers teach their daughters to be intentional with their effort and energy in relationships. Outside of messages like “don’t settle” and “speak your mind,” they remind their daughters to do the work themselves, as well.
Whether it’s setting boundaries, resolving conflict in the moment, expressing their needs, or building trust, great relationships take work — and that’s a lesson daughters with great mothers know from a young age.
9. Expressing gratitude is necessary
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According to experts from Harvard Health, people who regularly acknowledge and express gratitude live healthier and happier lives than those who don’t. However, learning to practice gratitude is something many people are taught at home, modeled by their parents.
Women with great mothers teach their daughters how to express gratitude and prioritize it in their lives. They know it builds internal security and self-esteem, as well as bolsters social connections and relationships throughout the course of their lives.
10. Make room for joy in the chaos
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Adopting optimism and bringing joy into life, even in times of adversity, is the key to bolstering better physical and mental health, according to a 2010 study. However, many people don’t know how to practice optimism or even look on the bright side when things take a turn for the worse, largely because their parents didn’t teach them.
Whether it was open communication or expressing gratitude, women with great mothers learned these important lessons. They were reminded they have the power to bring joy into their lives and make their mental space a thoughtful place to reside.
11. Forgive yourself
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Generational trauma and unhappiness are sparked by repeating patterns, adopting unhealthy mindsets, and falling victim to unhelpful beliefs that keep you less secure and happy, and seeking approval and validation from others. When you make the intentional choice to forgive yourself, own your mistakes, and genuinely change, everything shifts for the better.
Great mothers teach their kids how to take accountability and forgive themselves in the toughest moments, rather than continually adopting shame and resentment that root themselves inside for life.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
