4 Ways To Get Back To Crazy Hot Orgasms (Even When You Think You Can't)

Photo: Photo by Caleb Frith on Unsplash
can't have an orgasm

Is it your head or your hormones?

Do you or your partner struggle to orgasm?

If so, you're not alone. A woman recently reached out for help, asking, "Hormone replacement made me fat and I think my problem climaxing is in my head. Help!”

Is it her mind or her hormones?

Here’s my advice…

You CAN reliably give and receive vaginal orgasms, also called penetration orgasms, penis-in-vagina orgasms, or orgasms from intercourse.


First, have you been following our recent discussion about women’s and men’s struggle to orgasm potentially due to hormonal deficiency?

If you’re not on anti-depressants or other pharmaceuticals that suppress libido, checking your hormone levels is a smart idea.

If your hormones are low, you can supplement with libido-boosting adaptogens and superfoods (such as those present in the Huge Load Formula smoothie recipes or the ManTea premixed powder. And yes, I drink a Huge Load smoothie every morning I am home. Tim makes it for me. We both have one. These bioactives work as well for women as they do for men.

Or you can take actual hormone replacement therapy. Go to a functional medicine doctor if possible.

Here are four things you need to check out, if you don't know what is causing you to feel like you can't have orgasms.

1. Look into issues with your hormones.

I encourage you to experiment with HRT (hormone replacement therapy). 

Sometimes it takes a little trial and error to figure out what estrogen delivery system, formulation, and amount are most efficacious for an individual woman.

And balancing estrogen with progesterone is also important. A testosterone/DHEA cream on your clitoris can also improve vaginal tone and sensation of your clitoral structure.

If all your doc did was give you a prescription for estrogen, you need to find a better doctor — I recommend a functional medicine specialist who will take the time to look at your whole endocrine system, your weight gain, and general health.

Research “bio-identical hormones” online.

And if you’ve had breast or prostate cancer, work with your endocrinologist and oncologist together to find some alternative solutions to HRT — for women perhaps a wild yam compound cream or only topical testosterone and no estrogen… Read Abe Morgenthaler’s info on testosterone and prostate cancer if you’re a guy.

Supplemental hormones, when adjusted correctly for both sexes, should actually help you lose fat and increase muscle, not make you fat.

Talk to your doctor about other health issues. If you are like the woman who told me HRT was making her fat, you likely have an insulin resistance issue from our modern diet of too many carbs and sugar without enough clean fat, protein, and vegetables.

Insulin is also a hormone.  When you fast, it resets your insulin levels so that instead of storing fat, you burn it. Consider intermittent fasting.

2. Try intermittent fasting.

According to Dr. David Fung, leading medical expert on the benefits of intermittent fasting, and author of The Complete Guide to Fasting: How To Heal Your Body, fasting has the following benefits:

  • Fasting lowers glucose, lowers blood pressure, and lowers the risk of cancer.
  • Fasting helps with permanent weight loss, boosts brainpower, slows aging and improves heart health. 
  • Plus, intermittent fasting boosts the growth hormone.
  • It does not make you tired. Does not burn muscle. And does not put you in starvation mode.

Try intermittent fasting to get rid of the weight gain.

You can drink coffee and tea with MCT oil added, as well as bone broth and water all while fasting. There’s a very small window of hunger and your body gets accustomed to the fasting such that it becomes a non-issue.

People who fast say they have improved energy and mental clarity while fasting. And fasting saves time and money!

I’ve begun intermittent fasting to improve my health, to clean and lean out my body, and to improve my skin tone (another benefit of fasting).

I’ve had blood sugar issues throughout my life. Mostly because growing up I ate breads, pizzas, bagels, cereals, and pasta… to the point where I became gluten-intolerant because I didn’t know wheat was just crap food.

And, FYI, statins also lower libido.

Now that I’m older and there’s more information available regarding nutrition, I eat foods that have healthy fats such as nuts, avocados, MCT Oil like Bulletproof Brain Octane and butter, avocado and coconut oil.

3. Commit to high-intensity interval training.

I think alternating fasts with a high-fat, low-carb diet and “high-intensity interval training” is the ticket to having more regulated blood sugar, a leaner body, better overall health and vitality… which means sex is easier, better and more pleasurable.

HIIT takes only 20 minutes a couple times a week. It’s a short, effective way to work out. It’s a bio-hack, like fasting and HRT.

I follow Dave Asprey of Bulletproof to learn all these concepts. He is my all-around health guru.

Here’s the book I’m currently reading to supplement my 2X-a-week 30-minute slow strength weight workouts, yoga, and walking:

Try resetting your hormonal systems through supplementation, fasting and interval training. In 90 days or less, you will see significant results.

4. Try meditation for orgasmic achievement.

Try meditation for training your mind to be still and relaxed.

If you get distracted, meditation helps you bring yourself back to focus.

The theta state of meditation is the same as the trance state you go into when you’re orgasmic.

If you meditate you will get a higher awareness of your mind-chatter and an ability to self-regulate your emotions and thoughts.

I recommend the Zen12 program as it “meditates for you”.

This link will get you the full version of the relaxation music, a full guided meditation, and previews of the sounds of nature and white noise.

An hour’s worth of meditation in just 12 minutes which is why they call it Zen12.

Just hit play and you’re done!

These things – hormone supplementation, fasting, exercise and meditation – are the leading bio-hacks to having what you want:

A thin, healthy orgasmic body.

Try them! And go back to your doctor and get your hormones adjusted. You may do better with an estrogen creme.

Experiment. Don’t give up!!!!!​


Susan Bratton is a trusted hot sex advisor to millions who want a passionate relationship. Click here and learn how to give her penetration orgasms! When she starts coming during intercourse, your sex life will get hot, Hot HOT!!

This article was originally published at Personal Life Media. Reprinted with permission from the author.