5 Lessons You May Have Missed During Sex Ed. Class

sex ed
Love, Self

Discover 5 mind changing ways to look at sex in a whole new light.

Over 10 years ago, I dedicated my life to sex education. I chose to spend my days teaching others (and myself) how to tap into more sexual pleasure, deepen intimate relationships and unlock the true potential of human sexuality. I run a sex education company with my partner, and together we have taught hundreds of thousands of men and women all around the world.

Sex education is a lifelong pursuit because there is always more to learn about with the wildly complex terrain of human sexuality.

Sure, there are the basics of human sexuality: how the sexual system works, how to prevent unwanted pregnancies and infections, how all of our parts fit together in endless pleasurable combinations.

In our day to day life as online sex educators, we tend to focus on the skills of erotic pleasure. We teach women how to have their first orgasm or how to have multiple orgasms. We show men how to last longer in bed and separate orgasm from ejaculation so they too can have multiple orgasms. We answer questions about how to heat things up with games like erotic spanking and erotic bondage. Men and women from all around the world ask us their most intimate questions in pursuit of more pleasure. This kind of sex education is vital, as no one ever gets issued a user's manual to their sexuality and we all must learn how to enjoy sex and keep intimacy alive in our relationships.

But there is another layer of sex education that we offer. I think of this as sex education for the soul. This is the sex education that requires the deep internal work of changing our thoughts and perceptions so we can be free of the shame, guilt and fear that hold so many of us back.

Here are five central lessons of Sex Education For The Soul:

  1. Pleasure Is Healthy: The core lesson we all must learn is that pleasure is healthy. Our culture treats pleasure as a guilty indulgence, a reward for hard work. We must embrace the idea that pleasure is healthy for your body and mind, and that prioritizing pleasure isn't selfish or hedonistic. Taking a few minutes everyday to revel in pleasure will make you a better mom, partner, coworker and friend. Sexual pleasure is fuel for your life. Allow yourself to fill up your tank and you will thrive.
  2. You Are Sexy: Yes, You. You are sexy, just as you are. Sexy is not a dress size or model's perfect face. Sexy is an attitude, a way of being in the world. Sexy is knowing that you are valuable and worthwhile. Sexy is knowing what you want and going after it. Sexy is the ability to feel pleasure and express yourself. You have everything you need to be sexy, hardwired into your body. The only thing between you and Sexy is self doubt. It isn't easy to embrace your innate sexiness, but you can choose to tap into it every day and slowly but surely, you will start to feel like the sexy being you were born to be.
  3. Fantasy Is Not Desire: Many people are burdened by guilt over their sexual fantasies. It is essential to remember that fantasy is not desire. Fantasy is the world of imagination, where anything is possible. Desire is what you want more of in your actual life. Just like we can enjoy action movies without actually wanting to be in an exploding building, you can be free to fantasize without worrying about what it means about you as a person. Once you freely tap into your fantasies, you can start to figure out your authentic desires and create your most fulfilling sex life. This process is so vital to sexual happiness that we created a whole interactive guide for exploring sexual fantasy! Check out The Fantasy Method (link's provided below) to learn how to tap into your erotic imagination.
  4. Intimacy Requires Presence: In the chaos of our modern world, it is all too easy to let your mind wander when you could be paying attention to your lover and your intimate connection. Whether you are having a romantic dinner or having sex, when you have the opportunity to focus and connect with your partner it is essential to learn how to stay focused and turn off the perpetual to-do list in your mind. Staying present with your lover and learning how to pay attention during arousal are skills that require ongoing practice and devotion, just like any form of meditation. One of the best ways to learn these skills is to exchange couples massage with your lover. Massage helps you learn how to focus your attention on pleasure and stay in the present moment. These skills translate to the bedroom and allow you to learn how to savor the immense amount of pleasure that is available to you!
  5. You Are Not Alone: No matter what you have experienced, no matter how bizarre your fantasies, no matter how lonely you feel right now, You Are Not Alone. We receive emails from men and women every day who feel terribly isolated in their sexual struggles. The isolation is sometimes the most painful part of their experience. It is important to remember that while we each have a unique sexuality, we are also bound together as humans, connected in a vast web of experience. So no matter what is going on for you right now, someone else has been there and many more will come after you. Part of our job as sex educators is to assure and remind you that you are not alone and there is always hope. No matter where you are right now and whatever you are struggling with, an amazing sex life is possible and we'll show you how.

Sex education doesn't stop at the basics. Beyond sex positions and orgasmic techniques, there are profound insights to be gained when you allow yourself to explore Sex Education For The Soul. Your sense of self, your ideas of how much joy and pleasure you deserve, and your ability to connect and experience intimacy, all depend on your willingness to open up to the essential questions of sex education: who are you as a sexual human being, and are you experiencing a fulfilling sex life?

We are dedicated to being a resource for you along your path of sexual exploration. Come over to PleasureMechanics.com and check out our online courses and free resources. Have any questions? You can always Ask Us Anything and we'll get back to you soon. We're here for you every step of the way! And don't forget to check out The Fantasy Method!