Why Compatability Should Always Be FIRST And Marriage SECOND

happy couple

"It’s not always rainbows and butterflies but compromise that moves us along..."

Although love is often displayed in the movies as a no-brainer, there are times when it takes work. Sure, we love falling in love and meeting "the one" and envisioning fairytale happiness for all of our days. And thank the Lord, a lot of us out there have felt the joy of the best parts of marriage. Yet then again, there are certain days when you might feel like you need a psychic to figure out what the heck your partner is thinking or doing.

Thankfully, a bit of pre-work prior to the wedding day and a whole lot of conversations about deep life issues can help avoid big problems. If there is a wonderful modicum of physical attractiveness to one another, that's a great thing, but only part of the big picture.

A couple should also inspect whether or not they are intellectually on the same page as well. That's because as the decades of marriage move forward, you're not going to find yourselves having sex 24 hours a day. Mental and emotional stimulation is a big part of the game anyway, and you want to ensure that you and your partner have enough things to offer one another in the area of intelligence so that neither of you will seek such things outside of the marriage.

There are also major concerns such as having children, financial goals and overall life desires that should be discussed prior to walking down the aisle. Getting closer to being on the same page with those types of factors means having less of a surprise after the wedding cake is cut and all the out-of-town guests have traveled back home. Your honeymoon isn't exactly the best time to discover that your husband wants both of you to travel the world whilst you prefer to be grounded in a career at home.

Nor is it an ideal time to drop any façade-like routines and show the "real you" that should've been seen all throughout the dating period, as it progressed into a serious engagement. Like Dr. Phil says, a person you intend to marry should have already seen you with the flu, or during some under-the-weather type of event. Not only can they see you when you're not looking, feeling and acting your best, but going through tough times together also shows you how they'd react in certain situations.

If you're the type who likes to be doted upon, your ideal mate would offer such doting. If you'd rather be left alone when ill, look for a companion who understands your need for autonomy. A recent article in Business Insider featured a psychologist to listed several interesting questions on the topic of cheating to discuss with your mate. Chief among the queries included asking your spouse what types of things would make them stray, in order to avoid that situation.

In the end, marriage isn't always about hoping things go well, but selecting the right person from the get-go to increase the chances of avoiding divorce court.