What's In A Word? Are There Emotions involved in Texting?


People who have never engaged in sex chat do not understand how emotional it can be.

The one question that I get asked quite often is, "Do people actually have orgasms while texting or do they fake it?"

I usually respond to this by saying, "While I cannot speak for everyone, I can if I am with the right person." This usually invokes a look of embarrassment followed by mild curiosity. And, then a desire to listen more attentively.

Sex texting is the mobile form of phone sex. It can cause an orgasm in the mind, as well as, the body and it is actually pretty amazing.

Yes, people do have orgasms. Even professional chat hosts will attest to this fact. But, like any other form of sex, it depends on the situation and your partner. If you are having a good conversation and your partner excites you enough, then chances are you will "achieve" better results.


Have you ever texted someone and offended them? It may be that the text is taken out of context. The same thing can happen during a sex chat.

People are more confident and relaxed in their speech when doing it via text. Things can come across as arrogant or aggressive. If this happens during a heated moment it can destroy the mood. Worse, it may lead the other person to consider blocking you forever.

Make no mistake, chatting is the new norm of phone sex.

But, it comes with a host of new problems. People who enjoy the audio part of it are no longer being considered as landline phone sites continue to slowly diminish. The most exciting part of it was being able to hear your partner's orgasm.

Audio has become a bit difficult with SMS text. The only way to hear on a mobile phone is through video chat. This might be a bit farther than your partner is willing to go.

Without being able to hear or see your partner, means you have to trust that they are being satisfied. Trust will become an integral part of a couple's sexual relationship and this is a good thing.


Why is it so easy to misunderstand a text?

We rely on tone of voice, expression, and things of this nature to understand a person’s statement. When texting, the reader must interpret the message with a limited amount of resources. Their own feelings are usually projected in it. Regardless if this is what the sender's message intended or not.

Think about it this way, if you sent five people the same text they would all view it quite differently.

Real life examples

A popular slang used today is “smh.” It means shaking my head. When you respond with this, you are disagreeing with what a person says or can’t believe what they are saying. This is both positive and negative depending on the context of the message.

If your spouse texted you, "I spent $100 on condoms," and you texted back “smh,” they could interpret that in many ways. They might think that they spent too much money or that you are feeling excited and can't wait for them to get home. Two completely opposite results will happen here. You need to be careful with terms and emotionally charged statements. SMS language, or "textese" as it is often called, are common phrases to reduce typing. Let’s assume that you texted a friend and asked them to give you a ride. If the friend had to decline based on their scheduling restraints, you might text back “nvm.” Now, you might mean that as it is okay and that you will find another ride. But, they may take it as you are mad because they cannot accommodate your needs.

So yes, there are emotions attached to chatting and they are not always cute and cuddly.


According to Min Lee from SextingMobi, if you want to reduce negative emotions in your texts your going to have to follow some rules.

  • If your text is a subject matter that is serious in nature, never craft it using sexy terms. It sends a confusing message.
  • Always deal with personal subjects on the phone or in person. Don't do it via text to ensure the message never gets distorted.
  • If you are angry, don't blast someone by text. It is rude and childish.
  • Repetition is not fun and patience is a virtue. If someone does not respond right away it does not mean that they are not interested. It could mean they are busy. Sending the message over and over again is not going to get it answered any faster. But, it might make the recipient mad.
  • If you wouldn't say the "text" to the person's face, then you shouldn't say it at all.
  • Never hide your real emotions behind your phone or computer screen. This is very unhealthy. A text should not be the only form of communication you use to build relationships. (unless of course, you have no choice).

"People feel free when they are writing their words. They say things they would never say in person. This is a good thing when experimenting with fantasies and fetishes. Not such a good thing when taken out of context," he says with conviction.

Are there emotions involved in texting? You, bet your behind there is!  (and you can take that many ways too!)