Behind Most Good Men Is An Even Better Ex-Girlfriend?

Love, Heartbreak

Don't hate your man's ex. Thank her!

When you think of yourself as an ex-girlfriend you often think of yourself negatively. You think of all the ways you failed to hold on to a relationship that wasn't meant to be. Too often, you think of everything that went wrong because everyone usually criticizes the ex.

Still, there's something else you should consider. Believe it or not, all your work hasn't gone to waste. You loved him. Pampered him, at times. But mostly, you did other women a huge favor.

We all know that what we do to form the men we long for in our quest to change him, rarely works out for us. In fact, it's usually the other woman, the new girlfriend to come along, who actually benefits from all of your pain-staking work.

Every time you nagged him about being a better listener, you helped his future girlfriend. Every time you insisted he become less selfish and share the expenses, you made him a better man. Holding your ground, calling him out on his bullshit--most of the time--made him a better man. Because of this, he became a man who is capable of having a lasting relationship with a strong woman.

Likewise, every time you made him take responsibility for himself and his actions, made him help out around the house, or asked him to change your nephew's diaper, you made him better equipped to be a great husband to the woman he will someday call his future. You've made him a better father to the children they will have together.

He was crafted, sculpted by another's woman's scorn, sheltered from another woman's craziness, designed to become a better a lover because one woman took the time to teach him how to love her body from nose to toe. You taught him that it's far better--for his safety--to get the f out of the way when you're on a rampage.

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