How To Overcome The Nagging Feeling That You're Not Good Enough

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How To Overcome The Belief You Are Never Good Enough

"You are never good enough!"

Let’s start by asking, "Where did the belief that you are never good enough come from?"

Think back to when you were a young toddler and starting your journey in life seeing the world for the first time, experimenting and learning new things.

You may have stumbled a few times, fell, broke some things in your path and a well-meaning adult may have told you "No, that’s not right. You’re wrong, you can do it better. It’s not good enough, try again", at least a few thousand times.

You got up and kept trying and found through many trials and tribulations that there was actually a right way and a wrong way of doing things. At the end of the day, you decided to give a meaning to what those well-meaning adults that were guiding you told you, that you are never good enough.

No matter how hard you tried there was always something you can do or be better at, so it seemed.

The reality is that as a young toddler you may have felt you were never good enough because you knew nothing and were learning. That would be normal. No one as an infant knows everything nor are you expected to. You may have interpreted those early years as lessons that you are never good enough and they became your beliefs.

Well-meaning adults project their rules and beliefs on you and wanted you to have every opportunity they could give. 

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Today, yesterday’s beliefs would not be your reality unless you choose to make it that way because you have had years of education and life experience that made you more resourceful in those areas that you had none as a toddler.

Unfortunately, you created a limiting belief that says: "I’m never good enough" that continues to play in your mind even when it has no merit or proof today. Knowing how to feel good enough has been the challenge for centuries for mankind.

People replay an antiquated belief that you are never good enough and that you don't have the tools or resources to change it.

How do you change that limiting belief from feeling never good enough to more than enough? It is really quite simple. It starts with identifying the root of it all and weeding it out.

Look at where the belief came from and in the context it was delivered. Ask yourself: is it still true today? If the answer is "no", you now get to choose to hold onto it, eliminate it, or replace it with something more empowering.

Know that you cannot prove a belief. A belief is something that you gave meaning to. Therefore, beliefs are the lies we tell ourselves. You get to choose to continue to have them live on or you can replace them with something that will better serve you today.

Think back to the first time you learned to walk, ride a bicycle, or drive. Each of these at the beginning may have felt daunting. As if you would never be good enough at them until it became second nature and you no longer have to think about it you just do it.

History shows us many famous people today who were told at some point in their life that they were not enough and they went on to be more than enough.

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Ludwig van Beethoven teachers felt in his formative years that despite his love of composing that he was hopeless at it and would never succeed with it or the violin. He decided to not listen to what others told him and continued on his own path. He composed some of the best-loved symphonies of all time–five of them while he was completely deaf.

Remember I Love Lucy? Lucille Ball was told by her drama instructors to find another profession and she was considered a failed actress, on the B-list. She challenged their belief of never being good enough and proved them wrong.

Marilyn Monroe wanted to have a career in modeling and the agencies told her that she wasn't good enough and should consider becoming a secretary. Fortunately, she didn’t listen to them.

You do not need to become a Beethoven, Lucille Ball, or Marilyn Monroe to be good enough but you do need to let go of the old limiting beliefs of you are never good enough and make a decision to move on.

Become the best version of you possible. You are an original. There is no one else in the world like you. That alone makes you good enough!

If despite your best efforts, you continue to feel like you are never good enough, seek professional help. If left unchecked, feeling like you are never good enough could lead to anxiety and depression. A trained professional can help you overcome it now.

Lisa Lieberman-Wang is a relationship expert and creator of the neuroscience Neuro Associative Programming (NAP). You can find more helpful tips on loving yourself, letting go, and improving your self-esteem by calling 1-844-FINEtoFAB, emailing at or picking up a copy of Fine to Fab here!

Watch this TED Talk by former reality T.V. star Trista Sutter on the value of your self-worth.

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This article was originally published at FINEtoFAB. Reprinted with permission from the author.