Um, WHAT?! The Surprising Reason Women Find Happy Men UNATTRACTIVE

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Reason Women Fall In Love With GRUMPY Men

Want to turn her on? Smile less.

So, we're all seeking love and happiness in life, right? Well, here's a twist of irony for you: According to science, women find happiness the least sexually attractive facial expression on men. 

WTF?! That’s totally crazy, right? What’s going on? Why would women feel sexually attracted to men who don't look happy

When researchers study what makes us attractive to the opposite sex, it largely came down to a couple of big concepts:

  1. Women feel most attracted to protective men who will likely be good providers.
  2. Men are most attracted to women who seem receptive to sex. (What a shocker.)

So, knowing that, let's break this happiness bias thing down.

When someone feels happy, that usually translates to behaviors such as: smiling and acting friendly, approachable, nice, even understanding, etc. In women, happiness is sexually attractive. Men interpret those behaviors as welcoming: "Come on over, I'm interested in having sex with you.” (Thus the common frustration that men perceive women "being nice" as "flirting."

But happiness in men sends a different sexual message. When a man looks happy, the associated behaviors can imply a lack of a strong, competitive spirit. You see, when we size up a potential modern mate, we do so through the lens of a deeply ingrained evolutionary impulse (basically, "survival of the fittest' and how to best propagate the species). Therefore, "friendly and approachable" in a man might just mean "more likely to get clobbered."

So, it’s not that women want men who are unhappy. It’s just that a man who looks happy does not exude a confident, strong, protective air of "I'm here to defend you and take care of you, babe."  

So, what are the expressions women find most sexually attractive in men? 

Two expressions stand out head and shoulders above the rest: Confidence and pride. Whenever men exhibit these traits (typically displayed through facial expression, as well as posture, body language, eye contact, tone of voice, etc.) women usually sit up and take notice. Which makes sense, as these expressions more directly convey competence, focus and a readiness to step forward and defend. 

So, are you as shocked as I was by this happiness bias? Isn’t it amazing that as much as we've evolved as humans, we're still victim to the old evolutionary standards of our ancestors. 

Women still have the visceral, gut reaction to the guys who appear the least approachable. As much as our modern mind seeks a man who views us as his equal, our primitive self is apparently still still looking for a man to take care of us. At least, that's what science says.    

Kelly P. Crossing is an experienced counselor and relationship expert who specializes in helping women build the lives and relationships they want. For a glimpse into your needs, take the free NeedsExplorer survey now.  To learn more about Kelly and how she can help you, click here.