How Staying Alert & Present Is The 'Secret' To Love & Connection

Dating Coach: How Being Alert & Present Will Help You Meet People

You won't find someone to love if you're only looking at your phone.

The quality of your social and love life depends on how self-aware you are. Let me explain a little bit. When you're out in public, how much do you really notice? Are you walking around with a headset or listening to music? Are you texting people on your phone and missing life? Do you notice the little things around you? Do you notice the bugs on tree? Do you notice all the colors of the cars driving by? Do you see the number of people you walk by every day? Are you really paying attention, or do you always hear the words "excuse me" from people you haven't noticed behind you, or people you've accidentally closed a door on because you didn't see they were there?

Most people aren't aware at all. They don't notice anything. They don't see there's a car behind them that needs to get around, and that if they only move up an inch, it would be able to. Most people are so un-aware it’s killing their social life. I mean, there are opportunities around you everywhere, all day long, to meet people. Everywhere you go, there are people you could connect with. The problem is we live in a world that's "tuned out." We’re obsessed with everything eccept the things that are around us.

We walk around with our phones literally, like a homing device attached to our faces. You see it in restaurants — people looking at their phones and not the people they're eating with. You see it at the gym too. Someone’s running on a treadmill listening to music, when they could talk to the person next to them.

Next time you’re in line at the supermarket, or waiting somewhere like the doctor's office, you'll notice that instead of looking at each other, people look at their phone. The phone has become the biggest social crutch we've ever had. It’s made us even less aware than we already are. 

When I walk around, I'm aware of everything. I'm constantly looking at people and studying them. It's actually quite fun. I look at my surroundings. I smile. I say hello. I notice everything I can about people. That's how you connect. You can't connect with people if you're buried in your Facebook updates.

You can't connect if you're listening to music and missing the sounds of life around you. It's time you became aware, and started noticing life as it’s happening around you. Otherwise, life is going to pass you by as it usually does. Today, start noticing the things you haven't been paying attention to, and look at all the life you can connect with when you choose to.

When people tell me they don't have anything interesting to say to people, it makes me laugh. Life presents conversations wherever you go. When you become observant, you become great at conversation. There's a mother holding her kid. You can easily make a comment. You can easily talk about how happy the kid looks, and how he/she must be having an amazing day.

Conversations are everywhere — you just have to pay attention to them. It's funny while I'm dictating this I was walking into the gym. I passed three guys who were completely unaware of what was going on. We did the dance. You know the dance where someone crosses your path and you're not sure which way to move. Become more social and you become more alert. You become more interesting, too. Interesting people notice things. Boring people don't.

When you're interesting and social, you'll get more dates. People will be more attracted to you. People will be more interested in you. It's all about connecting. Nobody cares about the email you just got. Nobody cares about your Facebook status. Nobody cares what music you're listening to. Connect with life, and it will connect with you!

For more advice on finding love from the world's most recognized dating coach head to www.davidwygant.com