Will I Ever Be Good Enough To Love?

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This question is deeply rooted in almost every relationship we have.

In relationships and dating, (don't act like it's just me) women are constantly asking themselves this question, "When will I ever be enough for someone to love?" This question is deeply rooted in almost everything that we see and do. Clothing designers are making clothes smaller. Magazine covers are filled with these young, "skinny minnies" that don't resemble ninety-five percent of the female population. These images shape our views and beliefs about our own "enoughness" (new word I called it first).

The media has created the market for these beliefs but we as a feminine culture have bought into this hook, line and sinker. We have allowed our self-worth to be devalued by media and its flawed and vaunted portrayal of the likes of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez, etc. These "marginally talented" ladies (and I use the phrase "marginally talented" loosely) bring nothing to the table for us to sink our "self-worth" teeth into but an outward attractiveness that few women possess even with cosmetic surgery.

Women, having acquiesced to all of these images self-imposed or not, are constantly devaluing their own wares. We are flooding the market with these superficial, plastic and emotionally/spiritually unevolved replicas of what was once a strong and proud product. Our vision of "enoughness" has given way to the mundane, run of the mill, cookie-cutter Stepford Wife Syndrome. Is this really who we are? Is this truly the image we want our daughters to portray going forward?

Ladies I am here to tell you that you are enough but you have to believe it first before anyone else does. As my father says, "If you can't see it you can never be it." You must envision yourself in a strong, confident and positive light. This belief system will allow you to operate from a position of strength not weakness. Confidence and strength are magnetic qualities that draw similar interests. Weak and meek behavior is a repellant. You attract what you emit.

"Enoughness" is an inside activity and it cannot be acquired by or given to you by a man, designer handbag, expensive car or posh home. It has been my experience that the people highest up have the lowest self-esteem. This is why they purchase all these things that bring them comfort. They are searching for their vision of "enoughness" but they will never find it in the superficial or the external.

Let's stop the constant and internal second-guessing of ourselves once and for all. Approach your current relationship (this includes dating) with the confidence that you are capable. You know or have a vision of who you are, what it is that you want and a plan on how to get it. Only then can you truly develop your own sense of personal "enoughness." Don't let anyone or anything define what it is that you need to look like, dress like or act like. This decision is solely up to you.


This article was not written to absolve you of any personal responsibility to improving who you are. Keep improving yourself through exercise, diet and personal growth. No one likes an unenlightened, know-it-all slob.

This was written to show you that ultimately we women are each individually responsible for how we are viewed by society. This disclaimer was placed at the end of this article because I wanted to get the full impact and not develop "elephant ears" and tune out any part of this article.

I truly believe all of the words that I have shared with you. I live by these words daily. "Enoughness" is a conscious choice, a belief that comes from within. Remember, "If you can't see it, you can never be it!"

You can email me anytime at lori@loripinkerton.com, I would love to help you out with this topic. 

For more information from Lori Pinkerton head on over to www.FindLastingLoveNow.com

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