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No, you can't just say, "Calm down."
By Ruby Miranda — Written on Jul 05, 2019
We can probably all agree on the fact that the worst thing you can say to a person when they are in a rage is "Calm down." Nothing invalidates a person's nervousness like being told to do something they cannot do at that moment. It's like telling a person to eat right after they make a point of telling you they're not hungry.
Still, there are definite moments that come up when you're in the presence of someone who is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and you need to get that person to chill. Not everyone knows how to calm down when they're worked up, and it's a task that may seem impossible to you.
But when we consider astrology and the personality traits for the zodiac signs, it makes sense that some have a hard time "calming down." While I'm sure there aren't many opportunities that require a person to tell someone like the Dalai Lama to calm down, there are certainly enough unenlightened, fit-throwing, regular humans around that need a good calming down session.
For the zodiac signs, some need to relax that drama, while others can be cajoled into a calm state with a mere tranquilizer gun. So, what is the best way to get each sign to calm down?
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Tell them that they're right, no matter what it is they say or feel. Just agree with every they say, as they will have nothing to do with you if you don't. They will calm down when they know they're not alone, and they need your validation.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Feed them a fantasy, even if it's a lie. Tell your frantic Taurus friend that everything is going to be okay, even if you're knee-deep in the pits of a fiery hell, up to your eyeballs in human filth. They need to believe your fantasy, and that's the only thing that will calm them down.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
If you want your Gemini to calm down, walk away from them and leave them utterly alone. Gemini does not want to be bothered by anything or anyone, and people make them very nervous; lack of people equals lack of anxiety.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Cancer can only calm down by their own choice, and to do so, they usually lay down some "new" law that must be adhered to. They assert control over you, over themselves, over their environment. Control keeps Cancers calm.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
Leo calms down when Leo wants to calm down. In other words, being hyped and overwrought is part and parcel to being Leo, so it's all part of the act; calm them down by applauding them, no matter how awful they get.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
Virgo calms down when you pay the money. It's all about the goods, the moolah and the stuff with Virgo, so when they have a financial moment of doubt, buy them a coffee. Knowing that bill is on you and not them gives them relief.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
The only that really calms Libra down is being dead, so unless you kill them (which I don't recommend), just know that your Libra friend is a nervous wreck and more than likely will never be anything but that.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
You can easily calm a Scorpio down by buying them a gift. Yes, they are that petty and, yes, they are completely down for being bought. You can buy their friendship, their love, and if you spend enough, you can buy them into a state of serenity and calm.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
If you are dealing with an upset Sagittarius, then you had best do yourself a favor and walk out of the room... now. This is a fiercely independent person who will not take advice, and they certainly won't be "calmed down" by another. Give them space and they'll return of their own volition.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Calming down a Capricorn is a non-starter. They don't calm down. Not for you, not for anyone. They deal with whatever it is that upsets them, they reject all help and advice and, on their own, they calm down. It's not a responsibility you ever need take on as they will invalidate your desire to help.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
Calming your Aquarius down is a full-time job, and one that is both resented and ineffectual. They live in a state of nonstop anxiety and resentment. They are way too confused on a daily basis to even consider calming down. Don't bother trying with this sign, as they have their own methods for taking it down a notch.
PISCES (February 19 - March 10)
If you come to aid of a Pisces and you help them calm down, they will become addicted to your attention and use you as their personal "feel good person." Pisces wants you to calm them down. They'll even throw a fit just so you can give them the attention they need. Calming a Pisces down is a job that masochists only need apply.
Ruby Miranda is a New Yorker who learned astrology, I Ching and all types of cartomancy and numerology from her crazy, gypsy mother. She currently writes for a wide range of esoteric publications.