3 Ways That Religion (Yes, Religion!) Can Make Your Sex Life Incredible



When it comes to sex and religion, it seems as though the two are mutually exclusive. But not so, says sex therapist Dr. Stephen Snyder and author of the book Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship.

In fact, if you want to learn how to spice up your sex life, he believes that you can use religion to have a more rewarding physical connection with your partner.

In the YourTango Expert video above, Dr. Snyder discusses the inter-connectivity of religion and a great sex life. And as both a sex therapist and a traditionally religious person, he gets asked frequently, “Just how do sex and religion go together?”

But according to him, the answer is quite simple, really.

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When it comes to both sex and religion, the ultimate heart of the matter is about developing great relationships. In your religious practice, you’re trying to cultivate a deeper understanding and closer relationship with your god, and when it comes to having a better sex life, you’re trying to do the same, except you’re trying to develop a deeper sexual intimacy with your partner.

So just how can you use religion to have a better sexual relationship with your spouse?

Here are 3 ways Dr. Snyder believes religion will contribute to a better sex life in your committed relationship:

1. Inspiration

Religious inspiration isn’t something that you get one day and keep for the rest of your life. Inspiration strikes over and over again, in many different ways, and you will keep losing it — and finding it — again and again.

Your relationship with your partner is the same way. You will not always feel desire. It will come and go and change over the years, and can’t be gotten back by force of will. Your sexual relationship needs that same spark of inspiration that your religious relation has. “All you can do,” says Dr. Snyder, “is open yourself up to it… which is a big part of what eventually brings it back.”

2. Mindful potential

Mindfulness is paying attention to your experience in the moment, without judgment.

This means that you’re being mindful of what you’re experiencing without worrying about hang-ups, or stress, or letting anything else distract you from what’s going on in that very moment.

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Mindfulness originated in the east, and while there is no exact Western equivalent to it, this prayer-like concept is a great way to cultivate sexual inspiration in your own life. Sex, like prayer, can become an act of total surrender. And when you’re willing to surrender yourself in the moment, you’ll make yourself available to inspiration, and yes, desire!

3. Responsibility

Everyone understands that most religions make demands on you. These demands can be regarding your behavior, ideals that you follow, or lifestyles that you pursue. Individuals cannot go and ask that religions change things to suit their needs. It’s your responsibility in a religion to find a way to adapt your needs to the tenants of the institution you follow.

And It’s the same in any good sexual relationship. You need to advocate for your own needs in both of these situations, as well as finding out what works best for you and your partner. Sometimes it will work out for you, but other times there may be frustrations, or you may find things more difficult.

But this doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re on the wrong path or that you need to change everything that you’re doing. In either situation, what’s important is opening yourself to the possibility that there’s more you will have to learn.

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Stephen Snyder, M.D. is a sex therapist, psychiatrist and author of the book, Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship, who helps committed, long-term couples regain passion, sexual intimacy and closeness in their relationships. Connect with Dr. Snyder at SexualityResource.com for more information and to get started on your journey of sexual fulfillment today.

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